22nd Century Man

By Harry Hayfield

"You have one message. Received 7.59pm Eastern Standard Time on December 31st 2099. Do you wish to play the message?"

"Play" said Simon

The video screen flickered into life

"Professor Ian Smith, aged 37, head researcher at UCLA into human biology" said the computer

"Hi, Simon, thought you might be interested in a job proposal for you. I'm thinking of launching a new supplement on the market and was wondering if you would like to the be the primary spokesman. If you can, meet me at the gym at 9.00pm today"

"Time" asked Simon

"The time is 20:45:19.166431 Eastern Standard Time +/- 0.000001 seconds" announced the computer

"Yikes" said Simon, slipped on a transport bracelet and asked the computer to "beam" him to the gym as quick as possible

30 seconds later he arrived to be greeted by Professor Smith

"Cutting it a bit fine aren't we?" he asked, smiling

"Sorry, Prof." said Ian "been partying with some mates"

"Oh, following the new century are we?" Ian asked

"Yes" replied Simon "28 reasons to get drunk!"

"Well" asked the Professor "are you interested in being my spokesman?"

"For what?"

The Professor led Simon to a suitcase, he opened the thumb locks and brought out a syringe

"Woah!" said Simon "you know I don't do drugs"

"Not drugs, Simon" said the Professor "the cutting edge of DNA technology"

"Eh?" asked Simon

"Allow me to explain. As you know from your biology lessons in 2000, the human genome was successfully mapped for the first time and since then people have been researching what each gene can do. I've been investigating strength and found an unknown gene that the original mappers missed. This gene controls the amount of muscle that the human body can sustain. You know the current Mr. Earth, er, what's his name?"

"Oh, that Iraqi, er, Saddam El Something"

"Yes, that's the bloke, Manzoor, well at his height of 6ft 2 and bodyweight of 350lbs he can only carry about 35 - 40% of muscle as a percentage of his total body mass, the rest is bones and internal organs. If he was to take this, he would, according to our calculations grow to 8ft 7, weigh 1,349lbs and be capable of holding up to 89% muscle"

"WOW!" said Simon, unwrapping his shirt sleeve

"Just one drawback though" said the Professor "it's been untried on humans, the rats responded well, but you might have a heart attack, you may suffer brain damage..."

"or become one of the biggest men alive" he said, flexing his 19 inch bicep

"I'll take that as a yes then" said the Professor, "although it might be best, if you took everything off, I don't think that your clothes would survive"

"Now, wait a minute" protested Simon, "I'm not going around naked!"

"Would these help?" asked the Professor taking a pair of posing shorts from his suitcase "Extra elasticised"

Simon went to the changing rooms and got changed. He emerged and the Professor asked him to stand still while he took some measurements. He pointed a radar gun at Simon and pressed

"Height: 1m 47.159cm, Weight: 95.16949kg, Chest: 129.54cm, Biceps: 48.26cm. BMI Index: 43.9"

Professor Smith looked at the figures. "Very impressive, now for the test"

He took the syringe and injected it into Simons's main bicep vein. A few minutes should do the trick

Simon immediately began to feel warm, so warm in fact that he started to sweat, not just a trickle but buckets. "That's the bodyfat melting" explained the Professor.

"Urgh!" gasped Simon as his back arched straight. "That's the bones strengthening to hold the muscle, next should be the actual muscle growth"

"Oh my god!" said Simon as his chest, arms, thighs and calves exploded. It only took 30 seconds but the experience took Simons's breath away. Professor Smith pointed the radar gun at Simon and pressed

"Height: 1m 89.1541891cm, Weight: 300.19kg, Chest: 275.19cm, Biceps: 99.19cm. BMI Index: 83.9"

"Say what?"

"In laymen's terms, you're 6ft 2 tall, weigh 661lbs, have a chest that measures 108 inches and a bicep that is 39 inches unflexed"

Simon went to a nearby mirror and was overwhelmed.

"So, care to be my spokesman" asked the Professor.

"Give me a week and I'll let you know" he said and with that went home.

The Professor looked at his watch. "Destination: Unchanged. Date: January 6th 2100 AD" and with that he disappeared •

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