Hex Files 2: Ripped Lee’s Believe it or Not

Or Not


By Onix

“Who the fuck are you!” Dr. Heart barked.

The figure sighed, as he investigated a thick layer of dust on a nearby table top, “Who are any of us really?” And again he flashed that infuriating smile. “One never can tell.”

“Get the fuck out!”

The man in black continued to meander through the room, “take these two for example.” He motioned to Bronx and Malibu (formerly Alex and Lee). He began to tick points off on his fingertips. “They think they’re one thing, they are another… but in truth they are neither.”

“Your not makin any sense mate.” The bouncer said.

“Paradoxical paradigms.” The stranger smiled. “Life is chock full of ‘em. They’re the nutty outer shell to the ooey gooey nugget that is reality.”

The good doctor shook his head wearily, “I don’t believe this…”

“That’s quite alright,” the man answered casually “I believe enough for ALL of us.” He drifted smoothly toward Bronx and Malibu, eyeing them like exotic furniture. “What I have trouble believing is that you managed to accomplish all this with practical means.” He sniffed with distaste. “Practical magic.” He spat.

“It’s not easy or cheap.”

“I imagine not… then again I’VE never been a big believer in the despicable practice of… Modern Alchemy.” He gave the muscle boys a sad look, “but there you have it.”

“I could give you a quick lesson, friend.” Heart growled through clenched teeth.








“Of course.”

“Amateur.” The man sneered. “All in all, it’s a difficult mess to clean up.” The smile became even wider and triumphant. “Good thing a witch is never without her broom, eh?.”

Dr. Heart had obviously had all he was going to take. He motioned to the Bouncer. The large goon brandished a knife and advanced on the newcomer. The man gave the thug a surprised look, “Oh baby, only four inches?” He said glancing critically at the blade.

“DON’T WORRY, You’ll feel me.” He growled.

All the amusement suddenly drained out of the stranger’s face. “I doubt it.”

He flicked his wrist.

The three hundred pound man went flying cross the room like a rag doll, before smacking weakly against the far wall.

Ice-cold iris’s focused on Dr. Heart. “Care to try again?”

Dr. Heart couldn’t overcome his shock to do anything but gape.

“I thought not.”

The smile returned, bright and inviting. “Alright boys, it’s getting late and you’ve got midterms in the morning.” He snapped his fingers and the detonation was as loud and thick as thunder. Heart had the queasy feeling that the earth beneath him had some how just shifted.

Malibu and Bronx began to shake out of their trance wearily.

“These boys are mine! They aren’t in college they’re fuck meat! They’re…”

The angelic smile swiveled toward the doctor, “It’s impolite to disagree with someone, when they’re talking.” The smile grew tighter. “Now hold your tongue or I’ll Nail it to your desk.”

Lee shook his head and looked around confused. His boyfriend Alex was staring spacey off into nowhere. “Ahh we better be going. Come on baby.” He shook Alex’s massive form and began dragging him out of the room.

“Wha…. Lee? What’s goin on…?” Alex rumbled.

“I think you convinced me to do K on a school night, again.”

Alex rubbed one big hand against the acne on his shoulder, “Lee honey… where are your clothes?”

Lee looked down at the ridiculous little pink pouch that was his only concealment. “Holy shit!”

Lee flushed bright red and his friend Alex… no his Boyfriend Alex moved in front of him to shield his nudity.

“We gotta get the fuck outa here,” Alex advised. Moving them quickly toward the door.

They began to argue like an old married couple as they made it out of the office. “Alright!” Lee agreed. “But I’m driving… your probably real fucked up… and you can barely drive sober…”

“You never give me any credit,” Alex sulked.

“You boys be careful now, Drive safe and for god’s sake put some clothes on!”

The two muscle boys stumbled out of the room and back into their lives… with a little adjustment.

“THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!” The Dr, fumed.

“Possibility is infinite.” The stranger corrected. “All things are possible… very few are probable.”

Hart’s hands slammed on the desk in futility “You don’t want to take me on.” Hart warned.

“I’m tempted.” The stranger answered with a smile so cold that Hart had to suppress a shudder. “Unfortunately with lee and his “bud” back on track with a normal… if slightly modified life, my business here is concluded.” He knocked an errant blonde hair under is cap. “It would upset certain …balances for me to interfere further…but as I said…I’m tempted.”

“You’re dead before you hit the street.” Dr. Hear Promised, searching the underside of his desk for a panic button.

“Tread carefully. The only reason you’re not a potted fern right now, desperate trying to convert sunlight into chlorophyll is because I’m feeling merciful.”

“what…?” Where was that damn button?

The man in Black’s eyes grew distant and his brow sank into a dark scowl. “It gives me great comfort to know that there are darker souls then mine, that tread the night of this world. Doctor.”

Of fuck the button! Heart spat, “This isn’t over… I’ll find you motherfucker… “We’ll meet again.”

The black cap nodded and the face was a mystery underneath, “Yes. Most likely in Hell.”

Heart Ranted and raved, “You can’t do this. This… this…”

“I think, I just did. Do keep up.”

Dr. Heart trembled. “I don’t know what the fuck just went on here but I’m out 12 grand for those butt boys! I’m going to make you pay! I won’t forget this!!!”

The stranger made a quick motion with his left hand, “I think you just did. Do keep up.”

Dr. Heart Blinked. He felt out of space for a minute. Like something had happened… like life had skipped like a CD. His head hurt and he had a nagging feeling something wasn’t right.

“I said, is this the men’s room?” a strange man asked from the doorway.

“Uh…no man… wrong place… the door is… is to the right….”

The man nodded and shut the door, leaving the befuddled doctor to himself.

He strode purposefully down the mirror-lined hall. The big bouncer stopped him halfway down the passage. “Yo buddy you ain’t supposed to be back here - just employees.”

The stranger smiled. “That’s alright. I was just leaving.” And then the guy stepped right into the Mirror on his right. Just stepped right through it. Like it was a fucking window. He disappeared into the thin air.


One of the Doctor’s fuck boys came down the hall behind him. “What’s up man?”

The bouncer turned to the muscled stripper. “Dude… Man… Damn… Man…. Dude this guy just walked into that MIRROR!”

“Yeah…” The stripper laughed. He patted him on the shoulder, “Sure he did… Lay off the METH alright?”

And then he went into the Doctor’s office leaving the bouncer to mutter to himself and the empty hallway.

The Doc was behind his desk when the stripper walked in. “You wanted to see me sir?”

The doc looked up, his eyes haunted. “Yeah, I think I’ve had a bad day. …”

A glazed look came over the man’s eyes and he said reflexively, “I’m here to serve you master.”

“I know boy. Now come over here and flex for me.”

The big man stood in front of the desk and brandished his vein-covered arms. His face went pink with exertion as he tensed his biceps and held his breath in concentration. The doctor idly palmed the thick meat in the man’s tiny little thong.

“Yeah it’s been a bad day…” the doctor decided. “But now you’re here boy and it’s going to get a lot better.” His hand suddenly squeezed the soft balls beneath the muscle boy’s rising member. The man crumbled in pain under the vicious grasp. “I’m going to make it all better by giving you some GOOD GRIEF…” The big muscle man writhed in tan and toned agony at the doctor’s feet. “You’d like that right…? Gino?" •

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