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When I Grow Up
|I heard a nock on my door. “Lyle, breakfast is ready. Your father is waiting for you down stairs.”
It sounded like my mom but it sounded a bit… older. I opened up my eyes only to see a ceiling. Which was a bit weird because before I had a bunk bed that I got for my 6th birthday. Already a bit weirded out I got out of bed and then saw the walls. They were full of well posters of firemen climbing up ladders and girls in bathing suits. Then I walked up to my full-length mirror on my door.
That couldn’t be me. I was staring at a 16-year-old kid in nearing his prime. He had large biceps, bulky legs, an attractive face, and a beautiful six-pack. All I could think was, “That can’t be me. That can’t be me.” I was even afraid to look down to see if I really looked like that. Finally I gathered up the courage to look down and sure enough, I was looking at beautiful size 13 feet and my amazing pecks. Pecks… that’s a new word, what make me think of that? Man, who cares? I have an amazing body now.
“Lyle! Your food is getting cold!”
“Okay……. Mom…” Oh my god, my voice sounded like a god. A low baritone that’s frequency could shake the world almost, “K mom, I’ll be down is a second.”
“Well hurry up. You’re going to be late for school!”
I opened up my drawers only to find Abercrombie and Fitch clothing. I don’t know what compelled me to it, but I picked out a tight muscle shirt instead. I wanted to show off anyway.
“Mom! I’m going to go take a shower first! I feel crappy anyway!”
I walked towards the bathroom… I was getting a bit freaked out though. I the hallway seemed so much smaller… or did it. Is this how it had always been? No, couldn’t be. Finally, I reached the bathroom. I opened the door and walked inside.
The bathroom even smelled different, manlier. I started taking off my pajamas, which really consist of just boxers. I went to sleep in pajamas though… or did I. Ah! My head hurts! Man this is worse then a headache. I thought a shower might help so I took off my boxers and got in. My head still hurt though.
As I stood in the shower I looked down at my dick… dick… for the first time since getting up. It didn’t look huge but there was something different. Nothing different from my usual 10 incher. Luckily my head stopped hurting so I started washing my hair. As I was washing it I could feel it get thinker and longer in my hands. It felt silkier too. Maybe it’s just the conditioner.
I finished washing my hair and went down to my body. I looked at it for a while. Nothing, again, looked different. I still had my usual eight-pack and huge pecks. And the usual amount of body hair in between my pecks. My happy trail looked normal and my armpit hair looked just as bushy too. Nothing different. Then why did I think things were changing before? Must’ve been my imagination.
“Lyle! Get out NOW!”
Man, that bitch again. I wish she would get off my case.
“Fuck mom! I’m getting out right now!”
I got out of the shower and made my way toward the mirror to shave and crap. I got out my razor and started shaving my stubble till it was as smooth as my girl friend loved it. I put on my skin-tight sleeveless shirt, workout pants, and sandals. Didn’t bother to wear any underwear. I was probably going to get some action today anyway.
“LYLE! YOU GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!”
“FUCK MOM! I’M COMING! I HAD TO SHAVE!”
I swear to god she is never going to get off that case. I started walking down stairs. When I made it to the table dad was already there. My dad is the Firehouse captain. He has a nice bod and good looks. I’ve always wanted to be like him.
“You know, Lyle. If you don’t get a good grade on your SAT you can’t join my squad when you graduate.”
“Fuck dad, I’ll be able to do it.”
After my outburst, mom had went up to my room, which she always does, and goes rummaging through my stuff to get rid of something she thinks I like but the stupid bitch doesn’t know that I don’t care about anything in that room. After a few minutes she came down with three really old looking comics. “If you ever talk to me like that again these comics are going.”
“I don’t give a shit about those comics… go put them in the garbage for all I care…”
“Okay, whatever you want,” with that she threw them in the garage and took it out to the curb.
“Hey Lyle,” said my dad, “do you want me to take you to school?”
“No, I got it. I can take my own car.”
I walked out to my Hummer, turned up the music real loud just to annoy the neighbors, and drove off. As I was diving away I knocked over the trashcan and the trash went everywhere. I didn’t give a shit though. As I was diving away though, I saw some freshman from my school pick up those comics my mom threw out.
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