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What's in a Name?
|Another night, another party Damien thought as he sat idly sipping his beer. He had unwilling let himself be dragged off to another party by his friend Alanna. He couldn't even count the number of times that he sat through hours of uneventful drinking at a friend's to only leave bored, horny and drunk. And tonight it seemed would be no major exception. Once again it was about 9 at night and he was already so bored out of his skull that he was beginning to mentally count the ceiling tiles in the small apartment living room, where he sat.
Alanna and he had gone over to their friend Genie's apartment to drink and pass the time; it was a small one bedroom that she shared with her live in boyfriend Gabe. It wasn't much but it was home…well mostly it wasn't much. Genie was a clerk and Gabe was a mechanic so they made a modest living. Hell they were both only 22 so no one expected them to have matching suites at the plaza.
They made a cute little couple as guy/girl pairings go, she was Egyptian and he was light Cuban. Genie was short and buxom with long dark hair, And Gabe was medium height, not tall but not short, he had the delicate features of face that made him seem more beautiful then handsome. His long eyelashes seemed to always hide his eyes flirtatiously. It was almost impossible to not find him attractive and Damien sure as hell agreed. He kept his hair in a tight buzz and trimmed hi beard in the thin lines of whiskers that outlined the jaw bone. His body was tight and compact and covered almost everywhere in a light coating of dark silky hair.
Even thought they were both somewhat intelligent they were both a little too Ghetto for Damien's taste… but hey they bought the beer. Things began to liven up however when Gabe's best friend David came over with his girlfriend Teresa.
Damien had already sunken so deep into his boredom that he was pounding back the beers so fast he would have put a frat boy to shame (his theory being: a drunken stupor would at least make the blur interesting) Then David and Teresa arrived. David's tall lean frame stood in the doorway "Yo Damien, I didn't know you were here." He said as he grabbed his hand and shook it.
"Yep," He replied as he grabbed another beer. David turned to talk to Teresa, and Damien took the opportunity to scope David out. David was a tall Puerto-Rican man, with a honey complexion and the sinewy taunt muscles typical of tall men. His dark wavy hair was cut so short it was barely fuzz on his head. He drawled most of his words and walked with a thug's gait but he was basically a nice guy.
However when he was drunk enough he would begin to talk about becoming a Rapper and that was quite unlikely considering he knew no one in the music business and Damien had never heard him Rap …ever. Gabe's slightly smaller silhouette entered his frame of vision and Damien mused about how similar they looked both in baggy jeans tied at the waist with too big belts with boxer shorts that were exaggeratedly billowing at their waists. If it weren't for the difference in the color of their FUBU T-shirts and David's baseball cap the two of them would like they were dressed like twins. Damien thought archly "Now this would be a much cuter couple…" But both boys were in happy relationships with women and that was fine with Damien, that was just more guys for him.
"Hey D, take it easy on the brew man, your drinkin' it likes it water." Gabe said with a smile crossing his all too pretty face. His voice was a rich deep masculine baritone that made Damien's head swim. Gabe oozed sexuality naturally and he was unaware that he was oozing it all over Damien.
"Sorry We're late," Teresa apologized as she moved into the kitchen, "We would have been here sooner but David kept trying to teach the toddler next door how to say his name. God knows why."
"Hey we don't know, he might be mine." David slyly added.
"He best not be or I'll kill you fool." Teresa had no humor in her voice.
"Gabe! We're running out of beer!" Genie's high-pitched voice wined from the kitchen.
In response to her call Gabe rolled his eyes in disgust and said, "What's your point?"
"Gabriel Jaurez, go get more!" she yelled.
"I told you not to Call me that!" he said in a sudden flash of uncustomary anger. Gabe was perpetually calm always maintaining a level tone and demeanor. Very potent with his controlled low key manner.
"Just go get more beer!" she said coming into the room with Teresa by her side.
"Why don't you smartass?!"
"Fine!" she said as she grabbed his car keys from his out stretched hand. "Teresa and I'll go." Teresa looked as if she might protest but followed Genie out the apartment door without comment,
As the door shut Genie yelled back, "I'll be back soon Gabriel!"
"I told you to knock that shit off!" Gabe yelled back.
Alanna noticed the drama and asked interestedly, "What was that about?"
Gabe looked like he didn't want to discuss it but gave in "She calls me Gabriel when she wants to piss me off."
"Why's it piss you off it's your name." Damien asked feeling the effects of the many beers he had downed.
"It sounds Queer I fuckin' hate it man."
That sobered Damien up a little but. "Huh?"
"I always hated the way my real name sounds it so funkin faggy, man. Makes me sound like some funkin flamer." He answered moodily.
"No it does not," David said with mock sympathy "I think it sounds pretty Gabriel," he laughed raucously and began to repeat "Gay-briel" with exaggeratedly femininity.
He kept laughing making Gabe even angrier "Knock it off man," and then he punched David hard in the shoulder, "How would you like it if I sat here and kept callin you Dah-veid?!" the elongated vowels of his name seemed to drain the humor from David's face. "Dah-veid sounds pretty queer too doesn't it?"
"Yeah" he answered in a voice that sounded like he was just told he had a rare disease that ran in his family
"Isn't this all a bit sophomoric?" Damien asked disgustedly.
"Hey man how would you like everyone thinkin' your some fairy cocksucker because of your name." Shot back darkly.
Damien looked at him flatly "Your name doesn't make you a cocksucker."
"Yeah sucking dick does," Alanna said with a laugh, trying to alleviate the tension.
"I just don't wanna have people think I'm a freak or nothin'" Gabe said dismissing the subject offhandedly.
"Me neither" David agreed and they high fived one another in agreement.
Damien and Gabe had always gotten along in the polite way you treat someone you like but don't really know. But now Damien was begging to dislike Gabe passionately "Are you Implying that you think being gay is a bad thing?"
"No… I'm out right sayin it. I ain't some fag tryin to push up on other guys. Fags are freaks, all limp wrists… actin like bitches…it's ridiculous." Gabe's deep voice dripped ridicule.
"That's stereo-typical bullshit. It's like saying all Irish people are drunks, all black guys are criminals and the entire Asian race is good at math."
"C'mon there are two kinds of fags, hairdresser's and those muscle bound fairy's that look like superman but cry if they break damn nail." Gabe was going for the asshole grand prize.
"Don't tell us you feel bad for the pillow-biters?" David asked with disbelief. Of Course he agreed. He was Gabe's sidekick he always let him make decisions for both of them and if Gabe thought something, it must be right.
That was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back "Could you go get me anther beer?" Damien said darkly without even turning his head to talk to Alanna.
Anxious to leave the pressure of the conversation she quickly agreed and was in the kitchen out of earshot when Damien stood up uneasily. Maybe it was just the affects of the alcohol but he was feeling very self-righteous and a little tipsy. "So…you two He-men think that it's humiliating if people think your gay…because someone mispronounces your name?"
Gabe and David were going to stand as well to meet Damien's withering gaze but found that they're bodies wouldn't respond.
"Well If you think people think your name denotes homosexual tendencies then you two geniuses must be right, in fact boys whenever someone calls you Gabriel," he said leveling his finger at Gabe "and you Dah-vied" he said turning to point in turn at David " it'll MAKE you queer, and you two will be one cute little limp writsed, cocksucking couple!" Damien leveled his curse and it was sealed with a thunderclap and a flash of lightening. The lights in the apartment flickered and when they came back Gabe and David looked at Damien in confusion and fear.
They both were still paralyzed were they sat and watched uncomprehendingly as Damien crossed the room and put on his jacket, "but you know what guys? I'm feelin' sportin' tonight, I think it's the booze," he did a quick turn and fell against the doorframe to steady himself, "yep it's the booze." he barked a laugh, "Anyway tell you what, If you two can make to let's say …midnight…without someone calling you Gabriel or you Dah-vied …oh… let's say 5 times," Damien chuckled at the nonchalantness of his arbitrary decisions "then the curse is over and your free to be as bigoted and stupid as your small little minds desire BUT if not It's rainbow flags and pride parades" He shut the door and stumbled and chuckled happily the whole way down the stairs.
Left alone in the living room Gabe and David shook themselves as if they were both awaking from some dream…"What a fucking fruit man!" and laughed.
"Crazy ass fag," David yelled angrily.
Gabe stood up and looked around, "Who knew Damien was a flamer?"
"And what the fuck was all that shit about a curse and five times…" David said trying to clear the fog in his head.
"I don't know but if that bitch wants to start making threats and shit we're gonna beat his pansy ass." The Gabe's deep voice menaced. His train of thought was broken however when he there was a loud sound from the street below, what the fuck was that?" both he and David rushed to the window to see what had happened. They pushed the wide heavy window screen up but when they stuck their heads out to inspect the scene all they saw was the quiet empty city street below. The apartment-lined street was almost unnaturally silent.
Gabe was about to push David's probing head back so he could close the window again when Damien walked out of one of the shadows. "I almost forgot to thank you for the loving evening…Thank you Gabriel and thank you to Dah-vied," he said mockingly with a pronounced lisp, "it was just delicious!"
David was going to hurl an insult but Damien seemed to disappear into the night. And then the window fell on his head. "OWW" he said rubbing his head. "What'd you do that for?"
Gabe looked dumbfounded "I don't know it was just real heavy all of a sudden, sorry man."
"It's alright. Don't worry about it." And then the strangest thing happened instead of patting Gabe's shoulder like he had intended he gave his ass a playful swat.
"Hey man watch it!" and then Gabe went to punch David in the shoulder yet instead his fake punch landed as a weak effeminate smack. They stared at each other blankly. "All this fag melodrama must be getting to my head, I better sit down…" he started walking over to the couch but turned abruptly because David was laughing uproariously. "What?"
"You crack me up!" he laughed.
"Your crazy man," David continued with obvious humor. "You prancing around like that, it's hilarious you really looked like a drag queen or something. You should have did that when Damien was here it would have really heated him…hahaha."
Gabe started to walk toward him "What the hell are you talking abou-…" and then he caught sight of his reflection in a mirror. He had simply intended to stride over and plant himself on the couch naturally. But his body seemed to have other ideas. His right arm was bent at the elbow and his hand hung delicately from his wrist. Instead of his usual gait every time he moved his legs rolled across each other, sliding his thighs over one another and sensually forcing his ass to stick out and his back to arch. Every step he took moved his ass suggestively while his left arm swished at his side following every movement with a languid flourish. In his mind he was walking and moving normally but when he watched himself he realized that he wasn't dictating his movements. "Man I must be letting this bullshit get to Me." he quickly with prissy steps rushed to the couch to sit down.
"Don't let that freak psyche you out." His friend warned.
"Oh I'm not," Gabe reasserted and then wiped the sweat from his brow, well he intended to wipe the sweat from his brow after a few seconds however he was fanning himself furiously with his fingertips. In response he stilled his hands and planted them both firmly on his knee, which was folded femininely in front of him over his other leg.
David sat down next to him "Man calm the hell down, your head's playin tricks on you."
"I guess your right." Then he looked at his friend of five years in disbelief because he had taken his chin in his hand and began to rub his thumb up and down Gabe's cheek comfortingly. "David get off me man!"
"What oh, sorry my bad…"
"Where's D?" Alanna's voice asked as she left the kitchen.
"He got his panties in a ruffle and left." David told her.
She set down her beers and gave them a dirty look, "What did you two assholes do?"
"He got outa here while the getting's good and if he know's what's good for him he won't be comin' back." The severity of Gabe's threat however was lost due to the flagrant waving of his hands and shaking of his head.
"Gabe your so crazy" Alanna laughed thinking he was making some joke, "but you know you should be careful around him, he studied all kinds of occult stuff in college, It was all pretty weird."
"Fuck that! That's just bullshit" he looked to David, "right?"
"Right?" and then they went to high five but like before something interfered and the gesture changed until both men stuck their hands in the air and snapped their fingers sassily.
Alanna was rolling with laughter on her way back into the kitchen "You two really are actin like Gabriel and Dah-vied!" The door closed behind her.
Gabe looked up urgently "what?"
David started laughing "chill it's fine sweetheart…" and then his eyes mirrored urgency at realizing what he had said.
"What did you just call me?" Gabe's voice asked but although it seemed like Gabe's there was now a slight difference his dark timber was still there only now overlaid with a whiny pitch and dramatic inflections.
"I called you sweetheart." David appeared worried now, "But I'm not trying it Lover-boy."
"Oh My god, this is like terrible. What's like wrong with us?" In his mind Gabe was reacting normally but actually he was jumping of the couch and waving his wildly. Every word he uttered was laced with theatrical flourishes that were extra-ordinarily uncharacteristic
David tried to calm his nerves and steady himself. This was ridiculous. He was acting stupid. All he had to do was just think of what he was going to say before he said it. In his head he said, "alright man be cool, don't fall out." What he said was "Don't worry baby, Daddy'll take care of it."
"Stop that!" Gabe cried! To his horror he now recognize that his voice hadn't just changed but he was speaking differently too. His ghetto lingo and speech had given way to a kind of valley girl dialect. "Girl-friend was telling the truth he did put a curse on us! We like have to get out of here before someone else says," Gabe threw his hands over his face with a squeak, "those names…"
They got up and moved for the door "I'm right behind your tight ass, babe."
Gabe rolled his eyes and made a clicking sound of disgust.
"Wait" David said in shock, "Angel, your tight ass it looks bigger."
"Bitch, why are you looking at my ass,"
"Look Hon, something else is different…" David moved them both to the mirror. Gabe lifted his shirt up and turned to see his butt in the glass. David was right. His butt did seem to be pushing out his baggy jeans forcing his boxers to hold his ass cheeks snuggly. He had the beginnings of a pronounced bubble-butt. Not only that but his wavy hair was longer, almost two inches so.
There were subtle changes in David too. His once angular shoulders now were a little wider stretching the orange fabric of his shirt.
"We've got to get out of here!" and they ran toward the door, however at the apartment building entrance they ran into Genie and Teresa returning with more beer.
"And just where do you think your going?" Genie asked testily.
"Out of my way fish!" Gabe hissed as he moved past Genie.
"Gabe Jaurez get back here right now!" she screamed. He stopped and he and his fleeing comrade turned guiltily. "What is wrong with you?"
"Pardon-et-moi?" He answered and mentally cursed.
Genie was laughing "What is with you? And what is with the I'm a little tea-pot thing?"
Gabe was standing with his limp wrist handing loosely and a hand on his hip like a little teapot, in frustration he uttered "Look girl, I've got to put the heat on the curlers, I'll be back later." He and David began to escape hastily down the street. Leaving Genie furious in their wake.
They were turning the corner when Genie called angrily after them "WHATEVER! BUT DON'T THINK YOUR GETTING INTO BED WITH ME TONIGHT, GABRIEL JAUREZ!" Gabe grabbed his side and slumped against a wall his vision blurring.
"YOU EITHER DAH-VIED Dah-ling" Teresa's voice followed giggling.
"Oh shit." David spat as he fell next to Gabe.
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