New World Order, A


By Kowalski

Two weeks later Steve was at the bar having a few drinks with his pals Tucker and Paul Morton. The television over the bar had the local college basketball game on. The three old college buddies were watching it and talking it up like old times. Steve hadn't told anybody he'd been taking the Promade. But he was burning to say something about it to someone. His hair felt thicker already, but could anyone notice? He'd been ashamed of himself at first, of his vanity and how stupid it seemed to shell out such big bucks for a bottle of this new gene stuff. But by now he could feel it working, like, all over. He felt great!

"So Tucker, dude. Tell me about this girl you want to fix me up with.

Who is she?" Paul Morton said as he nursed his cold beer.

Tucker Hicks was fixated on the basketball game. It was the final seconds of a two- point squeaker. Final shot at the buzzer... NO good. The home team lost!

"GOD-DAMMIT ALL! SHIT!!", Tucker slammed his hand down on the table in a loud macho asshole display.

"Whoa, easy does it Tuck. It's just the semi-finals." Steve said as he ordered another pitcher for the table.

"What's this about a new girl for Paulie here?" Steve tried to get the conversation back on track. Girls were his favorite subject anyhow, ever better than sports.

"What? Oh... right. Cassidy's friend Sheila. You've met her I think."

The agitated Tucker tried to cool down, gulping down the last of his warm beer.

"Doesn't ring a bell." Paul said, searching his memory.

"Get out of my way. I gotta piss." Tucker shoved the slight-of-build Paul aside and headed for the bathroom.

Steve followed Tucker to the rest rooms to take a leak and check his hair.

Paul stayed behind, wondering why he didn't get himself some new friends who didn't suck so much.

"Sheila... riiiiight... Sheila... that name sounds familiar. Dude, if she's the one I'm thinking of, she's a damn fine piece of ass. But isn't she black or something?" Steve said to Tucker as they stood at the urinals.

Steve could say the stupidest fucking things sometimes, but it gave Tucker cause to feel morally superior. It was the same in the locker room back in college when the two men were on the football team together.

"No she's Latino or something. Or white. Shit I don't know. Her grandmother was from Spain or Brazil or some shit." Tucker said.

Steve Gold and Paul Morton both were well-acquainted with Tucker's fiancÚ Cassidy Peters. But she had virtually no interest in Tucker's friends so they never really hung out together as a group. Steve was too much the dumb obnoxious ex-jock type for well-to-do Cassidy. And Paul was just too, well, dull. Nice guy. And kinda cute. But dull.

"Yeah, this Sheila Martin is an old friend of hers from school days.

Her and her old man just broke it off and now she's moving back to town to make a fresh start. Cass figured Paul would be a nice safe guy for her, to maybe double date with... on the rebound you know. Ease her back into the dating scene. I told her it sounded like a good idea. You know Paul. That fucker can't meet girls anyhow."

Tucker finished washing his hands and turned to find Steve still standing at the urinal trying to zip up. He seemed to be having a bit of difficulty.

"Hey Gold. What's the hold up over there?"

Steve Gold turned around and walked stiffly over to the sink. Tucker could clearly see the outline of his friend's wood through his jeans.

" Got a rise in your Levi's, or what?"

Tucker was staring now. Steve was smiling big. He was just dying to tell someone about the Promade.

"Dude... you won't believe this shit. Have you seen the ads for this new stuff, Promade?" he said as he stuffed his arm down his jeans, trying to rearrange his member into a more comfortable position.

"Yeah, how can you miss 'em? They're on TV like every five minutes advertising that shit. I hear it's super expensive though."

"It sure is expensive, but man I'm telling you it's worth it whatever they wanna charge for it."

Tucker looked at Steve's hair. It did seem slightly thicker. He looked him up and down as his friend was still rummaging around in his ill-fitting jeans, looking for relief.

"Gold, if you wouldn't buy those things so god-damned tight they'd be more comfortable."

Steve was laughing with pride and joy on the inside. Tucker just didn't get it. And he WOULDN'T get it until he had his nose rubbed in it. He leaned back against the bathroom door and unbuttoned his fly and let his dick flop out for his friend to get a look at. It appeared to be every bit of eight inches and stiff as a board. His balls looked like hen eggs. Tucker was stunned.

"What in the fuck..." he gawked at his friend's rod as it stood straight out from his body. This was not the same Steve he remembered from the locker room.

"I'm tellin' ya dude. I started taking those Promade pills only three weeks ago. The thing hardly ever goes down."

"Is it bigger?"

"Shit yeah, it's bigger. And it feels great. Karen has been all over it too. You know I told you what a kinda prude she was. She fuckin' loves it. It's like she can't get enough of the ol' Stevemeister. Shit, I can barely keep MY hands off it", he said as he carefully slid it back into his jeans and buttoned them up.

"I don't understand what this baldness stuff has to do with..."

Steve interrupted. "It's one of the side effects supposedly. I had to read up on it on their website. It restores your hair but it does something to your glands and the bloodflow. It's like all my senses are more intense and shit. Especially smells. I feel sixteen again. I'm horny all the goddamned time Tuck. It's great!!"

"You've been sixteen all your life, Gold. Don't blame it on the drugs.

Six hundred bucks a month... isn't that what they're charging for it?" Tucker Hicks scratched his head. His exceedingly wispy hair came out in loose handfuls these days. He had to get his hands on some Promade.

"Tuck, my man. You can afford it. You just got a raise, didn't you?"

"Yeah... well the thing is... I'm supposed to be saving for an engagement ring right now... Cass keeps track of all the money. She wouldn't have it."

Steve excused himself after that. He needed to go pay Karen a visit.

The sooner the better. Tucker said nothing to Paul about his close encounter with Steve in the bathroom that night. He was too busy thinking of his own problems to go into an elaborate explanation of why he might have been inspecting their friend's pecker anyhow. •

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