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Change, The (2001)
|�I can�t believe how much you guys eat!� Dave exclaimed.
I looked at the kitchen table. It was a wreck, littered with several egg cartons, multiple gallon containers of milk and juice � all empty � and a half eaten Honey baked ham.
�Uh, well�� I started.
�Get used to it, Dave,� Angelo interjected. �This is a light snack for us.�
Dave�s perfectly sculpted eyebrows knitted themselves together.
Angelo immediately launched into a highly detailed, technical explanation of his discovery, Agent X, and the effects we had experienced. Dave�s eyes glazed over after about the tenth word. After the first hundred or so, his jaw went slack.
�Angelo!� I barked, slapping the table. Which was really unfortunate, inasmuch as all I was trying to do � honest! � was point out that Dave, unlike Angelo, did NOT have a Ph.D. molecular biology.
Unfortunate in that instead we had to contend with all the crockery, cutlery, empty containers and leftover ham bouncing a couple of feet into the air while the table split in two. When it all came down again the clatter was deafening.
�Goddammit, Bryan!� Angelo bellowed, �That was my grandmother�s table�!�
Dave snickered, then tittered, then started laughing out loud, great whooping cackles. Angelo and I watched dumbfounded as he fell off the chair, then rolled on the floor, laughing his ass off.
�I thought�� Angelo began.
�That only happened in chatrooms?� I added, helpfully.
Dave sat up, finally, wiping the tears from his eyes.
�You two,� he said between gasps, �are a piece of work!�
Then I explained � between Dave�s occasional guffaws and nervous giggles � in layman�s terms what had happened. Dave was no dummy, not by any stretch of the imagination, he just didn�t have an advanced degree in the life sciences. (Nor did I, come to think of it�)
�In other words,� Dave said, holding up a hand when I eventually paused for breath, �this stuff seems to maximize an individual�s growth potential, as well as induce some sort of super-efficient utlization of nutrients, right?�
It was Angelo�s turn to drop his jaw.
�MBA, Wharton,� Dave pointed out. �BA, English lit, Middlebury.�
I grinned � my kind of man!
�Well, yeah�� he agreed. �Exactly! The question is��
�Will it work on anyone?� Dave added, ticking off the possibilities on his thick, masculine fingers. �Female as well as male? Straight as well as gay? Kids and seniors as well as adults in their prime�?�
�That remains to be seen. I think we have our work cut out for us!�
Dave rubbed his handsome jaw.
�So when do I get a turn?� he blurted.
�I knew that was coming!� he exclaimed.
�Well, it�s pretty obvious, isn�t it?� he continued. �I don�t make any bones or try to hide��
�The fact that you�re a complete and total muscle fetishist�?� I added,completing his sentence.
They both stared at me, Angelo a bit indignantly.
�Hey!� he exclaimed. �That�s��
�Your job?� Dave inserted.
This time all three of us looked at each other.
�You don�t suppose�?� all three of us said at once.
�This is gonna drive me nuts,� I began, flashing my eyes when Angelo�s mouth began to open, smacking my open palm with the edge of my other hand when it looked like Dave was about to speak. �We�ll hafta work on this mind-reading thing, or whatever it is. In the meantime��
I paused for breath.
�In the meantime,� Dave continued, �I need to clear my calendar for the next week to ten days, right? That�s about how much time you said it took.�
�And while we�re at it,� Angelo began.
�We better give the grocer another call,� I said, sighing. Thank God never of us was hurting for money!
Dave stood up and flexed. He really was a total fucking stud, something he suddenly seemed to recall. He gave us an awesome most muscular pose, then pulled up into a side chest shot, the mass of his 22 inch bicep causing our eyes to bulge.
�Jesus,� Angelo and I said together. �Your are one awesome piece of man!�
Dave gave us a wink, then a cocky grin spread across his face. For a minute we all forget that HE was the little on in the room.
�And I haven�t HAD my first dose of Agent X � not yet, anyway!�
Angelo and I looked at each other again, eyes widening.
What effect would something as powerful as Agent X have on someone like Dave? Someone who was already built like a brick shithouse?
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