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|I have to say that as concerned as I was about heading out for this evening’s entertainment, that the reaction the guys and I got when we entered the club was priceless. A small time men’s strip club just over the Wisconsin border wasn’t going to have the primmest beef in the land, but the boys on stage were doing OK. A bit too hairy but well into the ‘corn fed’ category. But frankly nothing compared to the 7 of us. The place got quite enough when we walked in, the place stopped when we took our winter coats off to reveal we sluttted ourselves up for the evening. What the hell, we’re college student with bodies built by a fuck curse and blowing off some steam before our trips home over the holiday break. Couldn’t help it if even the smallest member of our group made the guys on stage look like Don Knotts. Rest his soul.
The little tiny, lonely part of my brain that is not ruled by my dick is not sure that this is that great on an idea anyway. Great to get out and have some fun. But just a few of us together had to be the cause of the ‘accident’ at the arena the other night. Not to mention my being in a place where I’m going to get horny from the surrounding alone. I know the curse is going to go off at some time.
They gave us a big table in the corner, I think they’re trying to get the attention off of us and onto their own money makers on stage. We got a couple of “Who are you guys? Are you performing?” questions as we made our way over. We got comfortable, ordered drinks and gave Ricardo a couple of our jackets to sit on in hopes that they’d stop carding him every three minutes.
It was interesting how this came together. De’ had been trying to get me to go for a couple of week, and had already talked Rich and Tak into it. I made an off hand comment to the twins Angelo and Tony that we might be going and how embassassed I was at the idea, but they flipped for it, begging to go along. We actually ran into Ricardo on the way out, he was free and filled a place in the second car.
Which I wish I had been in because Rich drives like a nut. How did he get his license in the country?
So all of us are in this tiny club of a Friday night, except for Arif who I’m sure is safely closeted at home with the wifey right about now. Or. Just walking in and making a bee line to a dark corner in hopes of not being seen. That’s….. a coincidence?
“We seem to be drawing attention!” De’s screamed over the blaring music and cheers from the crowds facing the stage.
“We seemed to have all worn shirts without sleeves.” I yelled back.
“Oh yea!!!! Fuckin’ A!! MY BROTHERS!!! ONE TWO THREE” On that queue we all raised our arms and popped double biceps. This got us a round of free drinks for the managers, who knew how to keep the unpaid entertainment for the night happy.
The drinks went down and we got busy. De’ and I certainly did. Interestingly so did Tony, Ricardo AND Angelo. Someone’s not going to be able to complain about dwarf’s not getting any action before the night is over. The others sauntered down to the catwalk and started cheering on the boys. We didn’t have a lot to tip but we could give them attention like no others tonight.
As I deep tongued De’ the recorded music system started playing the old western rock song, “The Devil Went Down To Georgia.”
“I think we should make this our song” De’ asked
“One day Ah’ll tell you why ‘It’s Raining Men’ would be more appropriate.”
The crowd went wild as two guys, one dressed as a devil and on an angel came out on stage. They started a cute routine that matched the campy lyrics of the song. Couple of beefy Wisconsin boys that had been by the gym, and passed by a few times too often. De’ and my make out session was interrupted by the crowd suddenly going wild. We broke in time to see the ‘Devil’ character gain about 75 pounds of muscle. The stripper didn’t notice but...
“How’d they do that?” De’ asked pulling away and starting towards the stage.
“You can see that?”
“See the guy buff up? Yea. Don’t believe it. And, shit man, is he getting taller?”
This can’t be good. Shit they can all see it. Everyone in the club can see this guy change. He went from a pudgy former football player to a toned gym bunny in minutes. Chest was so big I thought he might be turning into a chick at first. Still male but must be the stripper element. Nipples were big and round and hard enough to cut glass. He was obviously enjoying the attention, but I don’t think he knew of his change. His partner though still looked normal and was still going along with the strip routine as if nothing different was happening.
“That’s INSANE. How they do that?!?!” Tak yelled.
The boots came off next maybe to give the feet and calves the room they needed to grow. Man was catching up to Arif in the bulk department and Tak in the muscles definition area. Still second best to me though. The g-string was getting fuller and fuller while the back end was getting meatier and meatier. Could barely see the top of the back strap coming out of his ass it was so big. Didn’t give much when he moved so it had to be solid.
“Why are they giving tickets away to this place? They should be in Vegas.” Rich said standing next to the twins who were slack jawed in disbelief.
As his hair started growing down his back and knotting into dreads, his skin started going deep black, much darker than even De’. The hair line moved back some, them a little more, then a bit more. At least I wouldn’t be the only folically challenged member of the group. A smile on his face that lent the devil image a naughty edge. The black stud made an impressive attempt at the splits and knelt down before his dancing partner. The angel on stage looked like he was ready to join the fun.
“This should be good.” De’ said anticipating another change from built lump to stud.
After shifting his hips back and forth a few times, making the feather wings on his back all but flap, the angel reached and ran his fingers through his short curly blonde hair. Getting a smile on his face that rivaled the devil stripper, angel ………yanked his own head off.
It fell forward taking most of his chest with it. Yet the body still stood arms out to each side. Fingers tensing into a grip then letting go, tensing and letting go. There was no rib cage exposed, no muscle just a hollow shell of flesh with a gagged rip for an opening. It’s when the blood started pouring out the top that the screaming started.
With different accents and a couple in different dialects the phase “Holy Shit” was shouted by 9 men in the room. As if on queue tentacles like arms burst out of the body shell and started reaching out. Dozens in different widths but with a couple of larger one that looked like they meant the most damage.
Our new Haitian member of the group still sat at its feet. Shocked beyond belief and in clear range of the arms. He tried to move but the blood that was flowing out of the creature made it hard for him to get traction enough to make it work. Out of no where Ricardo jumped up on the stage leaps across the Haitian and dragged him off the other side, out of harms reach. With the Haitian moved out of the way, it was clear the head, resting on the floor, was still very much alive and now had a better view of us too.
The one good thing about cheap dives like this is they don’t rotate out the old furniture when it’s too worn our out of style. So there’s always a lot of heavy metal chair you can pick up and start throwing. Which is what some of us started doing. Mainly it bounced off the creature, or was deflected by one of the tentacles. Arif had joined us on the floor and I motioned him to follow me. We ran to one of the round tables that was bolted to the floor, and pulled until it wasn’t bolted anymore. Pushing me aside Arif gave it a toss like the table was a discus. It flew and hit the creature side ways, almost knocking it off balance. Good, at least we knew it could be moved.
I heard a yell form the other side of the room as Rich ran up to the stage carrying two bottles of champagne in each hand. Like christening a ship he broke each on the stage’s edge and attacked with the broken glass left in his hands. Something tells me he’s been in bar fights before. He slashed at it like a surgeon, cutting deeper gashes in its flesh.
A tentacle wrapped its way around Rich’s neck and that wasn’t going to be acceptable to Tak. He had made his way back stage and attacked from behind, where the head couldn’t see him. And as Tak grabbed on and started pulling at the tentacles, was the electricity that was coming for Tak’s hands shocking the beast? It didn’t last long as both guys were thrown from the creature across the bar. They must have done some damage as the head was panting some, obviously shaken by the attack.
And then De’ jumped down on it from above. He must have crawled along the lighting rafter over the stage. Except this De’ had long claw like fingers, and teeth that could rip into the flesh, yanking large sections off. He saw something off to the side and jumped off in time to miss the flames that were shooting out of the twins Angelo and Tony’s eyes. Large sections started to burn and the pooled blood began to boil. Wildly the tentacles thrashed out and flung the twins aside
A quite burning has been building up inside of me. I thought it was the tension from this attack but it was almost a natural feeling. Like something I always had within me bit kept on a lower level.. A warmth. A power. Trying to get out. Needing a release. I stretched my left arm out pointing towards the creature as a ball of light flew fro my body. It encompassed the beast, seemingly slowing down its movements. Deep within the yellow sun like glow the clear image of golden eagle.
Someone behind me tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to find my Grandfather standing there. He handed me his casting stick.
“This is yours now.”
Two good steps to gather momentum, left hand on the edge of the stage to balance, legs go up and when they go over the head, arm pushed off the stage sending me into a flip which aims me directly at the creature but not before taking the casting stick in both hands and screaming for all it’s worth.
The stick enters the center of the beast and the world goes white.
When I come to I’m back on the club floor, facing the stage but flat on my ass. I can’t help but notice everyone around me is standing still. Like they’re frozen where in the stance they were in when the white blast went off. The stage is empty of the stripper or the beast I turned him into. Only my Grandfather. Standing at the edge, smiling down at me.
“You have done well my grandson. The great eagle has soared as never before and...”
“What the fucks going on!!!”
“The coyote is very tricky with only the sunset...”
“Cut the Yoda shit Grandpa!!! Ah’ve been fucking guys into becoming queer studs and the last one turned into an octopus hell monster that tried to kill us!!!”
“Well fine, be that way. You know how long I practiced this? Didn’t even get to the part about the mountain lions. Well help me down from here. I’m not going to spend all this energy to get solid just to break a hip.” He was light as a feather but, solid. I lifted him off the stage and settled him on the club floor.
“Let’s head back to the bar. I know I need a drink.” He said shuffling off.
We made our way through the mess and the frozen people to the bar area. While he had just been a solid as anything I ever touched, Grandpa walked though the bar itself and started searching around the bottles.
“Not a decent bottle of scotch in the house. Hey, the bartenders are cowering back down here like little girls. I thought I’d hold everyone in tableau so we could talk in peace. So where do you want to start?”
“Well…..ummmm…..why am Ah Spice? Why did Ah change them? Why did HE turn into IT? What happens when we change back, ARE we going to change back now? What ..”
“OK, OK. Let’s start with who you are and who your friends are. You know the family history about your being the descendant of a long line of shaman, right?”
“Been beat into my head since the day ah was born. Since HENRY was born at least.”
“We’ll get to that in a minute. You are not just the latest descendant of this line, you are the greatest descendant of this line. Greater powers than mine, or my fathers, or his fathers. And so are they and so are their powers.” He said pointing to my guys. “For they too are the descendants of great wizards, magician, druids, spirituals… from the original tribes of man. Each from a different part of the world, each with a different name for that one member of their tribe with great mystical powers. They’ve passed down generation after generation till today, to this current generation where the powers, again, are far greater than any prior.”
“Do they know? De’ never said...”
“Some know, some don’t. Some will learn, some will move on. DeAndre’s family was killed by that creature we destroyed tonight before they could start teaching him. That shrimp...”
“Yea the shrimp has been told of his powers but believes in them less than you. If that’s possible.”
“Wait, how could De’s family be killed if Ah turned Barry into De’? And Barry’s family wound up raising De’?”
“Barry? There is no Barry, never really was.”
“But Ah turned Barry INTO DeAndre. I was there, it happened while he was ridin’ ma cock. And ME, what about Henry, you saying I was never Henry!!!”
“No, you were Henry, and DeAndre was Barry, but neither Henry nor DeAndre were real. You’ve been thinking that you actions have been placing a curse or spell on these men, you’re wrong. You’ve been RELEASING them from the spells I and their descendants placed on them for protection. You haven’t been turning them into new people, you’ve been returning the back into who they were supposed to be. It’s a frog prince thing.”
“It was predicted years ago that the original evil would try to make its move into the real world on this day, in this room. Up till now it was content to be the puppet master. Now it wanted to just plain be the master, of mankind. You all, being who you are, would be drawn here to fight it. And if we knew that, the evil would know it to. We found it would try to stop you by killing you all, one by one, to keep the events of today from happening. For while it couldn’t fight your gathered strength, it could destroy the lone individuals. It got to some. It tried for De’ but got his family. There should be a Russian and a young man from the Amazon, but they are gone and so ends their lines.”
“Divide and conquer.”
“Right. To ensure this would not happen to all we hid the rest of the real children. Created illusions of life for you to lead to keep you ignorant of your true selves. Thus the evil was ignorant. Some were made women, some like you were made older, and spread out around the world. When the time was right, they came here, to be freed by you.”
“But why me? How was making me a 35 year old straight dull version of myself hiding me?”
“OK, you’re going to think I’m gloating here but, you’re just too powerful. No matter what we did, we couldn’t totally hide your powers so, we left you the slightly obvious member of the group for the evil to watch. And by making Henry older, the evil would look for others around the same age of 35, not the true age of late teens. Like a slight of hand magic trick, you’re doing things over here…..while the others could live safely over there.”
“We ALL just happen to be the greatest….whatever medicine men/witch doctors whatever of our people and we ALL happen to come to this school at the same time? Like it’s like Hoggwarts or something?”
“Maybe it’s because Northwestern is a fine school with a great reputation? Sure, not everyone comes here to make clay pots and wear a different jock strap for every day of the month but it will still look good on a resume for what ever the hell it is you’re going to do when you graduate.”
“Henry got shit for being a lawyer, I get shit for being an artist. Have I not been driven crazy enough lately?”
“It’s family. Deal.”
“Why all the sex…..?”
“The sexual energy was the trigger to remove the spell. Had to be something. We could have had you need to walk up to all these people and say, ‘Do you mind holding my hand while I stick this fork in the electrical outlet?’ But fucking’s always more fun. I always found it was.”
“So all those times I had sex with the guys, afraid of turning the city into hunky gay teens, it wouldn’t have any effect on anyone else than those you had already placed under the spell. No one else was ever in danger of transforming. No one else would be effected.”
“I can’t help but think watching you get screwed by De’ wouldn’t have SOME effect on someone watching, but not mystically, no. Speaking of which, now that the job is done I’ll take you dick down to human proportions. WOOOOOOOO” He started waving his fingers at me till his face broke out in a great naughty smile Grandfathers get when they try a variation on the ‘Pull my finger’ joke.
“GRANDPA” I said grabbing my crotch.
“Just kidding, enjoy.”
“So we get to stay like this?”
“YES. Lordy. Get up to speed on this already, will you?”
“And I get to stay with De’!!”
“Have you seen that boyfriend of yours? Look over there.”
Grandpa pointed over to a corner of the club. Angelo had been hurt in the scuffle. Tony and Ricardo were helping him when the big blast hit. And standing between them and where the blast happened was my man, back flared, arms outstretched. Obviously threw himself between the end of the world and the people he could protect. He looked human again. That animal persona must have been part of his powers. Cool.
“He could have been like these two whimps back here and hidden. But he put the safety of the others before his own. Don’t you let him go. That’s pretty impressive shit over there.”
“Hand me another bottle, we’re not done yet. Why are we all male and gay and well, hunks?”
“The power has always passed down through the males. Don’t know why, just does. We might be connected to the ethereal plane but that don’t mean it came with an instruction book. As for gay…well, it was kind of decided that with all of you being so incredibly powerful that we needed to do something to limit the power growing even stronger in future generations. So you’re gay so you don’t have kids.”
“GRAMPS!!!! What the… Gays have kids all the time. They have for years. For generations!!”
“Well excuse us for not keeping up with the social advances of the day! We sort of had reality to keep together. Not really time to keep up with everything. With that in mind, I should mention that, what with De’ family gone, he’s going to have to father a child if his line is to continue.”
“Like my head’s not spinning enough. And the hunk part?”
“That’s just you guys. You gays and your muscles. Try to stop you.”
“So what do we do now? I’m the greatest and most powerful Shaman in the history of the Earth. And I’ve got a team of runner ups at my side. What do we do now? Join up, fight crime, do we get uniforms?"
“Yea, why don’t you go with the fire truck panties with the dildo accessories?”
“You saw that?”
“Most TeVo’d scene in the afterlife. We’re SO proud.”
“Well if you had just contacted me I wouldn’t have gotten so desperate...”
“SAVING REALITY, HANDS WERE PRETTY FULL!! Look, do what ever you want. You’re all on the right paths now. You’re all in control of your own destinies again. It’s not that the evil is gone, it’s just building its energy again. It will take a long time before it can even try anything again. You just need to be careful of Auntie Betty Brand Instant Pancake mix. It’s going to be discovered in two weeks that they use PLASTER for part of the mix instead of flour”
“What has that got to do with anything?”
“You want to eat plaster?!?!?! Just trying to help here. Had some inside info I thought I’d share.”
“That creature tried to take over the world starting with a cheap ass men’s strip club in Wisconsin?”
“I thought that was pretty smart of it. Who’d think of watching this place for a door way to hell opening up?”
“And that evil thing…….was evil”
“Enough with the 20 questions already. Yea, it was evil. Just evil. Nothing less than evil. Every action has a reaction and both create energy. The energy that the evil in the world has been building since a millisecond after the energy of good in the world started building. It thought it was hot enough shit to take over, you proved it wasn’t. Can I release them and get going. We’ll talk later on, once things have settled down. There’s a nap out there with my name all over it.”
“Ok, OK. We’ll talk when I come home?”
“You’re going to release the now?”
“Yes. First I will release your friends. Then the rest of these people when you’re at least 50 miles away. No one will come in, no one will see you leave.”
“You want to pay for this mess? You ready?”
“Just a moment.” I ran over to the stage, sat on the edge and readied the bottle of beer I had so I would be found drinking it down when they came back to reality. “Make for a more impressive reveal.”
“You’re already getting good at this."
“Love you Gramps.”
He mouthed "Love you too" as the white light returned, filling the room. This time, when it went down, my friends were free to move, and found me, as I planned, chugging one back on the stage.
“SPICE!!!” De’ said running up to me. “What the hell happened, what’s going on!!!”
Pretty much got the same from everyone else, all at once.
“OK, everyone calm down. It’s all over. We’re all safe. Grab a chair and listen up. Going to tell you what ma Grandfather’s been up too…..”
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