When he actually took off, right after graduation, I couldn't believe it. I stayed behind, thinking I had to go on with the life my parents had planned for me, grad school, the family business. But it only took me about three days and one big fight with my folks to realize I missed Rusty and I was jealous he had gone out there to actually do all that stuff. So I told my parents I was going to California to be a real bodybuilder. Mom cried and Dad yelled, but I already had my ticket and called Rusty to tell him I was on my way.

I got to LA and took a cab to Rusty's place in Venice. His apartment is close to the beach. I was feeling pretty excited, especially since he told me he had met some guy who was giving him some stuff like steroids. We always used to talk about taking 'roids, about how great it would be to take something that could make us grow big muscles, if it wasn't so dangerous. He said this stuff was safe and better than 'roids. So all the way I was thinking about that, about taking something with Rusty that would make me and him grow really big muscles, like the big bodybuilders. As long as he's going to do it, I'm sure game to try it, too.

So when I get to his place, he answers the door and he's wearing a pair of those skimpy bikini briefs like bodybuilders wear for posing. I guess I'm not prepared to see that. A couple of times we wore bikini cut Speedos to get a tan, but we never wore anything skimpier than those. He tells me that he wanted me to see right away how great this stuff is that he told me about, and I have to say I'm amazed by the way he looks. I mean, it's only four days since I've him, but I can tell right away that he's more muscular. Not that he's huge or anything, but I see that his arms and legs are thicker, his shoulders look bigger, and his pecs are definitely bigger.

He asks me if I can tell a difference, and he seems really happy when I say I can. He flexes for me and I can tell he's very proud of his gains. I also feel a little uncomfortable, the way he's showing off his bod in those skimpy trunks, kind of embarrassed, like I shouldn't be looking too much. But why would he wear them if he didn't want me to look? Russ has had a real hairy groin since I can remember, and in those trunks it looks like he doesn't care how much it shows. They also make it look like he's got a bigger bulge there than I ever noticed in his underwear or his Speedos, but I guess it maybe just looks that way because they are cut so brief. I also don't remember that he had any hair on his chest or stomach, and I saw him naked almost every day.

He shows me where to put my stuff in the bedroom, which part of the dresser I can use, and which part of the closet. And I guess he notices me looking at him, because he asks me if I notice anything else different about him other than his muscles being bigger. I feel embarrassed to say, but he says it for me. He asks if I noticed that he is growing hair on his chest and stomach. I tell him I did. He says that this stuff made that happen, that it just started to sprout a couple days ago. As he's talking about it, he rubs his finger down the line it's making, all the way down the center of his torso, like he's fascinated by it. It makes me feel even more uncomfortable, because I know he was always glad he didn't have any.

Then he says I probably think it's funny that he's wearing these posing briefs, but he's just discovered how sexy they feel, and he likes the way they show another one of the side effects of this stuff he's taking. He doesn't say anything else, but I know he's talking about what I just thought I saw. It isn't my imagination. Neither one of us say anything else right then, but we both know what he means, and he lets me look again. It's weird. I have to say that I'm embarrassed but I'm also impressed. If this stuff can make that happen, who cares if it grows a little hair on your front side? Then, while I'm throwing my stuff in my drawers, he pulls on a pair of Levi's over those briefs, puts on a tank top, and says let's go. I say where? He says he told his new friend, Gavin, the big bodybuilder with the magic formula, about me, and Gavin said he would start me on the stuff right away, as soon as I got there. We are going over to his place.

So we go. It's only a few blocks away and we walk. When we get there, this guy, Gavin, answers the door wearing posing trunks just like Russ had on. Only this guy is as big as any pro bodybuilder I've ever seen in the magazines. He's wide as a barn, thick as a bull. His arms are bigger than my legs. But what I notice more than anything is the size of the bulge in his trunks. I've never seen anything like it, especially the way it sticks out in front of his huge thighs. And he's also real hairy, which I think is unusual for a bodybuilder. Not heavy, thick hair. I mean, his muscles and his cuts show clearly. But his chest and stomach are pretty much covered, and his arms and legs, and all around his groin, like Russ, only much more so. I'm thinking I'm getting a picture of what his stuff might do to me. I feel embarrassed and nervous.

As soon as Russ introduces me, the big guy says he understands I want to be Russ's partner in his bodybuilding regimen and asks me if I'm really ready for the dramatic changes and results of this new formula they are taking. Russ is telling me to look at Gavin's body, at how incredible it is, that we can have that kind of body, too. While he's talking I watch Russ looking at Gavin and I can tell that Russ thinks Gavin's body is the ultimate goal. Then Russ tells me that this stuff is so powerful that even Gavin is still getting bigger from it. I don't have a chance to say much, even though I'm thinking that if Russ is going for this kind of huge body, why the hell shouldn't I do it with him. Especially if it's going to make other body parts grow in proportion. And then Gavin is standing there holding an eyedropper full of what I guess is this amazing stuff, and he tells me to open up and stick out my tongue, which I do.

He empties the eyedropper under my tongue and tells me to hold it there for a minute before I swallow. It tastes hot and spicy and kind of bitter, like a chemical taste. Not really unpleasant, but very strong. When I swallow, it feels warm in my stomach for a minute, and then the feeling diffuses and I almost forget about it as they start talking about how great the stuff is and how much fun it is.

Fun? I ask what's fun about it, and they tell me it's how it makes you feel and the kind of extremely "up" energy it gives you. I ask Gavin how long he's been taking the stuff and how big he was when he started. He tells me he's been doing it about six months and when he started he was about the same size I am now. I'm impressed. And he says that, at first, he didn't take anywhere near the size dose he does now or like what he just gave me. Now I'm listening and thinking that I could be as big as he is in six months or so. Seems like it should take years to put on that much mass. His muscle looks so incredibly thick and dense. Even Russ, after just a few days of taking this stuff, looks like his muscle is denser and harder, not just bigger. I don't remember him having such a butt before in his Levis. I know he didn't fill out his tank tops like this when he left home.

They're talking about how we'll go to the beach to work out tomorrow, how they like to work out there, how I'll be ready for a serious, heavy workout by then. While they're talking about all this, my imagination is running overtime. I start feeling kind of stoned and I'm thinking about what this is going to feel like. I realize I'm feeling extremely aware of my own body now, not just theirs. For some reason, I'm feeling suddenly very sexy and hot, very into my own muscles, even as they are right then, let alone as they start to gain mass. My pecs and arms are big enough now to be stretching the material of my T shirt just enough to feel real good. I can feel the size of my quads inside my jeans. I'm also, suddenly, intensely aware of my dick because I realize that this feeling, so sexy and hot, is also making me feel extremely turned on and horny, and my dick is getting hard and unbelievably sensitive.

What is really strange to me is that I don't feel at all embarrassed. I feel too hot to be embarrassed. While we're talking, I find myself unconsciously rubbing my hand over my pecs, feeling how hard they are, feeling the cuts I'm getting under them. They feel so hot now, it will be incredible to feel them getting thicker and bigger and heavier with mass. My abs feel hard and cut and sexy to me. In fact, every inch of my body feels hotter and hotter to me.

I sort of come back to my senses when I hear Gavin and Russ laughing. Russ says isn't it amazing how hot and horny this stuff makes you feel, how it makes your whole body feel like it's as sensitive as your dick. Now I realize they can see how hot I'm feeling, but I'm so turned on I don't really care. Russ says he knows how I'm feeling, because this stuff makes you feel like that all the time. He says I really want to grab hold of my dick, don't I, and he's right. I have to. I feel so hot that grabbing my dick in front of these guys makes me even more excited. •