Accidental Wizard, The


By nolanspice

WARNING: If your virgin eyes can’t read anything about men having a healthy gay relationship with a sense of humour and a pinch of witchcraft that breeds hypermuscular results, then you’ll be completely offended and I will not be responsible for your eyes popping out of your head or foaming of the mouth. If you are OK with this, I bring you…

“What the hell is going on here?” exclaimed Jay as he entered his and Ken’s overly-cluttered garden apartment. “It looks like Merlin’s laboratory blew up in here!”

“Not quite,” said Ken stepping over some strangely labeled bags in an attempt to greet his husband. “Careful not to drop that bottle of stuff that looks like baking powder! It’s supposed to be highly explosive…or toxic when dropped…? I forgot! Anyway, just be careful!”

Jay didn’t move his 5’5” stocky, fireplug of frame fearing he’d be a bull in a china shop. He just stood as he watched his even shorter partner busy himself by creating a makeshift warlock’s workshop on their kitchen counter. Coming in at a titanic 5’3” musclebull, Ken was almost a twin to Jay, except that Ken’s dark Irish looks contrasted with Jay’s dark skinned looks. The now late-30s couple met seven years ago at the gym and have committed themselves to each other for the last five.

Ken was the more adventurous of the two acting on focused whims to which he was determined to master the activity at hand. While he never fully mastered any activity, he definitely became proficient enough so that it wasn’t a total waste of time and money. A prime example being their wonderful honeymoon in Paris. Ken heard the rumours of needing to speak the language to get by and learned just enough to surprise some of the staunchest of natives.

Jay, on the other hand, planned his spontaneity usually by riding Ken’s sporadic coattails and picking up a key factoid or two. But boredom, renewed lack of interest, or just Ken’s dizzying choices prompted Jay to tread on familiar ground. This is why they worked so well together. Ken would pull Jay out of his shell just enough to try new things while Jay could reign Ken in when he was getting a little out of control.

But this time Jay was at a loss. Ken’s slow-growing obsession with Harry Potter has taken hold. After the first viewings of the first movie, books on alchemy and the occult started popping up in the apartment. Pages from websites started cluttering the printer. Since it was pretty much harmless, Jay didn’t pay too much attention…until now.

“Is it safe to move yet or will spilled lizard tongues send this place into orbit?” Jay sniped.

“Mock me all you want. But when I suddenly start making things appear and disappear, you’ll be asking me to produce all the things you’ve ever wanted,” Ken said reaching for the last bag and kissing Jay passionately.

“I’ve got all I need,” Jay smiled and kissed back, “…except a shower! I went to the gym all by myself since my partner spent the morning at the Addams Family supermarket.” In his best early-80s Val-speak, Jay mocks, “Like, have fun in chem class and I’ll do, like, my homework, after the shah.” Back to normal tone, “Just be careful.” Jay heads to the bathroom.

Ken pats Jay’s ass as he walks off. God, how he loved that squatter’s ass Jay had! Ken sighed then turned his attention to his potions, tinctures, and other sorted organic products.

In the hours that passed, Jay was awakened from his unintentional nap by a glass crashing. “Shit!” he mumbled trying to regain clarity quickly as he headed to the kitchen. Upon his arrival, he was met with a pungent odor and a smiling Ken stirring a bubbling pot that featured a waterlogged picture of Shemar Moore and a floating Tyson doll (the “Billy” doll’s black friend). “’Splain Lucy!” sighed an exasperated Jay.

“I found this spell that will allow me to create a fantasy person! All I have to do is drink it and concentrate. Then our fantasy will appear. Cool, huh?” Ken beamed a grin that would’ve rivaled any member of the Osmond family. He was so proud of his soon-to-be accomplishment.

“What’s with Shemar and Tyson floating in the goop?” Jay asked flatly.

“I have to include elements of the fantasy person in the mixture. Kinda like those geeks did in Weird Science. Just no electricity and no chicks. Gross!!!” Ken said scrunching up his face in disgust.

“Well, I don’t wanna disappoint you but Tyson and Shemar aren’t my fantasy.” Jay continued. “I said that if I was ever in a horrifically disfiguring accident to bring a picture of either one to the plastic surgeon as a reference.”

“Close enough,” Ken said rolling his eyes. “Shemar’s got at least six inches on you. And if the Tyson doll’s measurements were placed proportionately on a 6’2” man, he’d be immense! OK, so that’s my fantasy. But it’s my potion! But look on the bright side. We’ll see what you could look like if you ever need to be rebuilt.” Ken kisses him then smiles broadly. “It’s almost ready. Care to taste it?”

“Ewwwww! I’ll pass!”

“Fine! More for me.” Ken scooped a healthy amount of the concoction and put it in a coffee cup. “Bottoms up!” In seconds, the cup was empty. Ken shuddered. “Definitely an acquired taste. Whew! Now I have to concentrate.”

While Ken sat quietly looking at Jay, Jay decided to read the “recipe.” He noticed something that caused him to be alarmed. “Once the drinker has begun concentrating, s/he needs to keep their eyes shut. If s/he is looking at a person, that person will become the fantasy person that is to be created. Ken! Wait! Stop!”

Too late! Jay became completely rigid and was standing at attention. He could feel everything but could control none of it. He looked at Ken, who was beginning to become concerned. Jay was able to move his eyes to signal Ken to grab the paper. Ken takes it and scans it quickly. “I’m sorry, baby.”

Jay tried to throw a disapproving look to Ken but was unable. His body was in the throes of change. He felt his 5’5” frame lengthening, stretching rhythmically. Not entirely painful, but by no means comfortable.

As he looked at Ken, Ken seemed to be shrinking. Ken watched his chocolate-skinned love go to six feet in a matter of seconds with little end in sight. Ken was as terrified as he was turned on by watching the love of his life morph in front of him. Topping out at what seemed like 6’5” to Ken, Jay’s Under Armour muscle shirt and well-fitting Unico boxer briefs were still covering him – albeit barely – as he only grew in height. He was able to exhale when the next wave kicked in. His body went rigid again…but this time, he felt a pulsation. It was like his heartbeat, only it was inflating him…EVERYWHERE!!!

THUMP, THUMP. He felt his body expand equally in half inch increments. THUMP, THUMP. His chest gained such size, he couldn’t see over it. The UA shirt stretched tight enough to have the hem cover the first half of his abs. Cobblestone abs, to be exact. THUMP, THUMP. Jay felt his clavicle widening to be followed by three distinctive deltoid heads fighting for space amid the stretched-beyond-belief UA shirt. THUMP, THUMP. His biceps took the shape of a half football. His triceps, half melons. His forearms, caveman clubs. THUMP, THUMP. Jay’s waist stayed at 34”. At his former height, it helped him solidify his muscletank persona. At his modified height, it solidified his stature as a huge man with a mind-blowing V-taper. THUMP, THUMP. His legs (if you could still call them that) showed the most dramatic effect by reacting the quickest. His already great legs contorted and swelled as his outer sweep and coveted teardrop muscle to shape beautifully. THUMP, THUMP. His calves looked like he had an upside down bowling pin inserted in them. THUMP, THUMP. If true to proportion and Ken’s witchcraft, Tyson’s dick would be a wicked 16 inches! Jay was to find out soon as his expanding appendage tore through what was left of the Unicos and blasted Ken in an unexpected cum bath with fire hydrant intensity. THUMP, THUMP. It was done. Jay, was motionaless through the entire metamorphosis and could only gauge his changes through Ken’s expressive eyes, took a deep breath and collapsed in a puddle heap of sweat and cum. Ken, who may have blinked twice, wiped himself off and ran to his side realizing that Jay’s new size was not conducive to the current apartment layout.

“Jay! Jay! Omigod! Are you OK? Please tell me you’re OK!” Ken begged.

Slowly opening his eyes and trying to focus, Jay looked up at Ken. “Never felt better. I need something to drink.” A look of surprise washed over his face. “Damn, I sound sexy!”

Ken grabs a mug and hands it to Jay. Jay gags a bit. “Wait ‘til you see yourself!” With that, Ken helped Jay up…and up…and up.

“Something’s very wrong!” Jay said as he’s looking down on his body…and Ken. “Holy Harry Potter, Kenny! What the hell did you do to me?!” Damn! I cannot get over this voice!” Jay exclaimed in his sexy baritone.

“I think I accidentally turned you into the fantasy man,” Ken said sheepishly.

“Obviously! There was that bit of fine print you forgot to read. Luckily, I caught it before you…this happened. I also saw that it last for about four hours.”

“Four hours!!! That’s it!!!?” Ken said shocked and upset.

“Well, that makes sense. This is just a fantasy. And fantasies can’t last forever. Otherwise, it would be called reality. And this is a hot one! It’s a little awkward moving around in this body. How tall am I?”

“You’ve got to be about seven feet! I could have so much fun with this body of yours!”

“Y’know what? I think I can, too.” Jay shuffled about admiring his reflection, then turns to Ken. “I guess I can get into your fantasy. I kinda like this! Thank you.” Jay stares longingly into Ken’s eyes. “I just wish you could feel this from my perspective.” Jay picks Ken up effortlessly and hugs him.

Suddenly, Ken gets rigid in Jay’s grip… •

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