Just Another Practical Joke?

By LackOfLife

That topped it. Of all the jokes that anyone could play on him...

Jake was pissed. Seriously. Someone had broken into his locker during class, stolen his favorite CD from right out of his Discman - The Smashing Pumpkins, the best advocate of loners like him. But to make matters worse, they left another one in it's place. It was obviously a burned disc, and all that was written on it was "Bet you wish you weren't such a scrawny bitch!"

But what could he do? Nothing. In the grand scheme of things it wasn't that big a deal. But it was the last day of class. School was out for summer! He had hoped on making a good start of it. So, music-less, he hopped the bus home and looked forward to at least being able to play some guitar.

He got home, tossed his bag on the couch, ate a snack, and headed down to his basement room. After chilling for a bit in front of the TV, he came back to his backpack, set to toss it into the closet and not see it or think of the hell that school life was for three months.

Then he was reminded of the CD those idiots, whoever they had been, had left him with. "Probably 30 minutes of laughter and cursing," he thought, "But I'm curious to know if they even thought this one out that much." He went back downstairs, tossed it in the CD player, and pressed play.

Much to his surprise, there actually was something on it. A man's voice came on and addressed him directly. "Jake," he said, "Someone at your school believed you would benefit from this. Sit down."

The voice was so commanding he had no choice. He immediately sat on the couch.

"Now," it said, "I want you to relax. Breathe in and out slowly. Close your eyes."

Jake thought it was incredibly stupid. Hypnosis? Nevertheless, he couldn't help himself. And as the voice continued, he began to relax further and further. It said, "Do not protest." He didn't. It said to lie down. He obeyed it. Eventually it reached the inevitable countdown, and he slowly lost conciousness.

Well, not exactly. Jake was dimly aware of all of his surroundings, but all he could hear was the voice, filling his head and resonating throughout his body. "Now, Jake, you have been a scrawny loner long enough. You are now a jock, one of the most popular people at school. You will forget your former life and think only about sports, sex, and looking good. You will be confident and cocky, unafraid to take on anything or anyone. And you can get any girl you want with just a smile. Academics are unimprotant. You know this and it will become a part of you."

He felt his head swim, and it felt as though his was being emptied of something, but it was followed by a feeling of being very comfortable.

The voice continued. "But that is only part of the change that is coming over you. Your body is going to be the most sexy on campus. You will be beautiful and athletic to fit your new role. You will be taller, more handsome, and far more muscular than ever before."

Suddenly he felt it hard to breathe. He felt... tight, as though his skin were being stretched. Then he heard a cracking noise and felt a shift in his position on the couch. It was no longer as comfortable to him as it had been when he got there. It was a bit too small. Just as he caught his breath, he lost it again to a swelling feeling. His whole body tingled and felt incredibly energetic. He could feel his clothes being pushed out and becoming tighter as the muscles all over his body expanded, filling them until he heard a rip.

And then there weren't any clothes.

"Jake, you now have a new life. I want you to go out and enjoy this summer. You will play football on the beach with your new jock friends and sleep with several incredibly hot girls. It will come naturally to you." The voice then began to count up, and he blacked out.

A second later he came to. "Whoa!" he exclaimed out loud. He felt a little funny and certainly did not remember falling asleep on the couch. He stood up and noticed the floor was farther away. Not only that, but he felt far heavier, as though he had put about 80 pounds of muscle on. Suddenly he caught his reflection in the mirror and was stunned... He was incredibly grateful to whoever pulled this prank. Something tugged at his mind, and he put on a polo shirt and jeans folded neatly at the base of the couch which he swore he had never seen before. Then he had the sudden urge to go down to the beach and see who was hanging out down there and maybe get laid. Without much more thought to it, the new Jake headed out. •

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