One of the first things you realize after becoming a Trophe is that you had better get a new wardrobe, fast. Even though your waist is the same size or smaller than it was before, you’ve probably already had the experience of putting a leg into a pair of your old jeans and, as the massive trunk of your quad (or sometimes, even your calf!) is forced into the too-narrow opening, hearing that slow r-r-r-r-r-rip of the seams giving way. You may even find that sound to be a turnon, purposely trying on old clothes that are now ridiculously undersized, just to watch the seams split and your new muscles blossom from underneath. Favorite old t-shirt? R-r-r-r-rip! Sweatpants? R-r-r-r-rip! Cargo shorts? R-r-r-r-rip! Dress shirt? R-r-r-r-rip! (and don’t even think about tyring to button the collar!) Jockstrap? R-r-r-r… well actually, it kind of almost holds you in. Kind of. Not really. Looks hot though, huh?

At that rate, all your old clothes would be shreds in no time. Either way, even if it seems silly and pointless, you do have to wear something, in public anyway. Fortunately, there are a number of quality suppliers of Trophe-sized clothing for every style and taste. Here are a few:

www.reallybigandtall.com – Founded to meet the sudden demand of a brand new market. This is a whole online department store, with everything from dress shirts (collar sizes 20 and up), business suits (sizes 60R to 90L) to every type of shoes up to size 22. All of them cut to mold and accentuate your insanely vee-shaped silhouette. Stock up on underwear – their selection gives “tighty-whities” a whole new meaning!

www.muscleragz.com – Along with the standard assortment for mortal bodybuilders, these guys have a great line of Trophe-sized gym gear. Everything from nylon warmups to the tightest lycra hotshorts; from spaghetti-strap excuses-for-a-tank that let your 65-inch chest hang out in all its pouting, thick-nippled glory, to form-fitting tights that leave no hard curve unexposed. While they do have baggy stuff the size of potato sacks, why would you want to wear any of that stuff? Part of the Trophe impulse is to show it off.

www.trophicjeans.com – Inventors of Trophic brand jeans, now the craze on the coasts among the hyper-muscled, hyper-hung set. Regular blue jeans just don’t work, with our huge quads, boulder glutes and unmanageable endowments. These geniuses came up with denims made for our bodies: still trim at the waist, but wide (really wide) through the thigh, roomy through the seat, and, most innovatively, with a new type of fly: they’ve cut away the standard zip- or button-fly and replaced it with a generous lycra pouch that buttons, snaps or zips onto the front, creating a stretchy codpiece with all the room you need to bulge where you need to. Choose from 12 eye-catching colors! They fit like a glove and let you show what you got without the impossible constraints of regular Levi’s.

www.meatpackers.com – Posing suits and erotic pouch gear for the exhibitionistically inclined. And, as you have already found out, we are all exhibitionistically inclined. These guys custom-make Trophe-worthy bikinis, jockstraps, g-strings, and other gear designed to show off your new endowment, but still hold it (barely) in check. You send them your measurements – soft and hard – and choose from a dizzying array of styles, colors and patterns, and they lovingly turn out a piece of gear sized especially for your best attributes. You can even order your lycra “extra thin” for that super-stretchy, veins-visible through-the-fabric look, or “undersized” if you like to bulge out around the edges when you pose. They even have a special line for you to wear when you are fully, massively erect – you have to see it to believe it. There’s something for every taste here – and you know a lot of men will be begging for a taste.

The growing demand of the Trophe market is giving rise to new outfitters every day, so keep up to date on the latest clothing trends at www.TropheLifeForDummies.com – we have an ever-expanding selection of links for your ever-expanding musclebody.

2. Food

Another thing you’ve probably already noticed is that your appetite is as hyper-sized as your body. Pumping nourishment to all that dense, striated, vascular muscleflesh requires a lot of intake – a level that most of us are not used to.

Unless you want to eat 12 meals a day, there’s only one solution to this problem – and it’s a solution most of us don’t mind. One of the genius discoveries about HMH is that it causes genetic changes to the prostate and seminal glands, that make Trophe semen a perfect source of nutrition to sustain our newly hyper-developed bodies. Yes, that’s right, Trophe cum is good for you, too!

There are two ways, of course, to partake of this manna. The most conventional is to feed off another Trophe’s orgasm; lock your lips around his pulsing crown at the moment he’s ready to blow -- just be prepared for the firehose flood that will hit the back of your throat! Swallow it all if you can; but even if some of it backs up and globs out the sides of your dick-stuffed mouth as you swallow, two cups a day is sufficient to nourish your demanding new physique.

The other way, and this is our favorite, is to feed yourself. Yes, you are now a completely self-sustaining system of nourishment! Depending on your genetic gifts, you may be able to feed directly off of your own cock; simply the sight of yourself sucking on your own 20” monster in the mirror is usually enough to force you to blow your first load. For those of you with lesser endowments or not enough abdominal flexibility, however, you can make do with a slow, sensual self-pec-fuck, forcing your dickhead over and over into the tight channel between your pecs (hey, we’re all big enough for that, right?) until you flood your torso with your own thick, nourishing cream. Then, scoop it up in your fingers and feed yourself manually until you feel full.

A few establishments in New York and LA have taken this one step further, commercializing Trophe nutrition. If you’re hungry, take a seat at the bar and a waiting musclegod with his erect tool at face level will be glad to fill you up direct from the tap; or, if you feel the need yourself to blow a load pronto, head into one of these places, get up on the bar, and feed a friend in need! You get a 30% cut of the purchase price for putting your sperm to good use. God knows it’s not being used for its original purpose! Where can you go wrong?

No matter how you choose to fill up, one thick load of Trophe cum gives you a full charge of all the nutrients you need to hold you the rest of the day. Drink up! •