Randy and the Night Visitor

By Zipman



“You awake?”

“Of course I’m awake, you dope! How could I be talking to you if I was asleep?”

“Oh, yeah. Do ya think he’ll be here soon?”

“Any minute now. Be ready. Remember, when I give you the signal you gotta hold his arms so’s I can punch him in the stomach.”

“Isn’t he a pretty big guy?”

“Yeah, I think so, but he’s old and outta shape. Mom says he’s got a big belly that’s soft like Jell-O or somethin’. Just hold his arms and I’ll punch him out. You think you can do that, at least? Did you do your push-ups tonight?”

“Yeah, I’ve been doin’ ’em every night, just like you said! Here, check it out — feel my arm!”

“Wow, Sammy, that’s not bad for a little kid! You got a nice hard ridge of muscle there.”

“Yeah! You know that big stupid guy named Frank? I beat him up at school yesterday!”

“Frank Miller? No way! He’s in my grade! Are you saying you beat up a ten-year-old?”

“I did! Just ask Teddy! Frank was pickin’ on us and I turned around and slugged him a good one right in the gut and he dropped, just like that. So I jumped on him and started punchin’ him with both hands, back and forth like this, and he’s like cryin’ and beggin’ me to get off and stuff.”

“Hey, that’s sweet, little bro! Did he know you were only eight years old?”

“I dunno. He ain’t gonna pick on me or Teddy anymore, that’s all I know. ’Cuz I’ll kick his ass again! Hey, why don’t you let me do the punching tonight and you can hold his arms?”

“Because, stupid, I’m two years older and a lot stronger than you are. Here, if you wanna feel a real muscle, feel this!”

“Wow, bro, that’s really hard! It’s really big too! I bet it’s bigger than Jerry’s arm! You prob’ly got the biggest muscle in the whole school, Randy!”

“I could beat up Jerry, easy! He thinks he’s hot stuff, but his arm isn’t all solid like mine. I’m, like, way stronger ’n him! Anyway, you better get back in bed or else he won’t come.”

“Oh boy! I can’t wait! We’re really gonna let him have it aren’t we, Randy? Just like you said. Then we can get anything we want!”

“Just get back in bed and pretend to be asleep. When I give you the word, follow me out to the living room as fast as you can! We gotta catch him by surprise.”


It was a cold, dark night, and the old man was growing tired on his long journey. He pulled the list out of his pocket again. “I must be getting forgetful,” he mumbled to himself. “I’ve already checked it twice and still I can’t remember if I’m supposed to stop at this house or not.”

He adjusted his glasses and wiped them with his finger to try and get a clearer view. It was no use. There was a big smudge next to Randy and Sam’s names. All he could make out was the first letter, “N”. A lot of good that did him.

“I should have come up with another classification system. ‘Naughty’ and ‘Nice’ both start with the same letter. Oh well, too late now. I guess I’ll have to give these two boys the benefit of the doubt. Come on, team! Head for that rooftop!”

The reindeer swooped down and landed smoothly on the roof. Santa climbed out of his sleigh, grabbed his sack of toys and headed for the chimney. A little pinch of magic dust and the proper wish was all it took to make him small enough to slide down the narrow opening with ease. Once inside, he resumed his normal size and prepared to fill the stockings hanging on the fireplace. But a sudden chill came over him. “Something is very wrong,” Santa muttered softly. “Very, very wrong!”

“Aha!” Randy said, turning on the light and running into the room. “We caught you!” Sam took his position behind Santa and waited for the signal from his brother.

Santa let out a big sigh. “I could tell I had made a mistake the moment I entered this house. You boys have been quite naughty, haven’t you?”

“We got you trapped now, Santa!” Randy stood in front of the fireplace and spread his arms out wide. “You skipped us last year, but this year you’re gonna give us all the toys we want!”

“Oh no I’m not, young man!” Santa said. “My toys only go to good little boys and girls. Just stand aside — I have to be on my way.”

“Oh yeah? Well, I dare you to try and get by me, old man!” Randy pulled off his pajama top and threw it on the floor. Then he flexed his muscles. “I’m really strong! You better do what I say or me and my little brother will beat you up good!”

Santa looked at the stocky young boy in front of him and felt another shiver of dread run through him. He usually didn’t make mistakes like this. He hated violence. “I must be getting old,” he thought.

“I tell you what — you both be good little boys and go back to bed and I might put a little something in your stockings before I go,” Santa said. “Then maybe next year, if you’ve been really good, I’ll come back with more presents.”

“I knew you’d try to trick us and say somethin’ like that,” Randy said. “Okay, Sam — NOW!”

The younger boy ran up behind Santa and grabbed the man’s arms, pulling them back. Randy raised his fist and lunged at Santa, throwing the hardest punch he could right into the old man’s gut. Santa’s eyes widened with surprise when he felt Randy’s fist plunge deep into his stomach. A loud whoosh of air came out of the old man’s mouth, followed by a low, moaning sound. Then Randy’s left arm came rushing forward and sunk another punch deep into Santa’s soft midsection. Santa groaned and bent over, but little Sam kept pulling hard on his arms from behind and prevented his knees from collapsing. Finally, Randy reared back with his right arm again. He bit his lower lip and gave it everything he had as he delivered a tremendous blow to Santa’s belly with a loud grunt. Santa let out a howl of pain and dropped to his knees, then his eyes rolled up as he fell over on his side holding his stomach.

“Quick, grab his sack!” yelled Randy. “That’s where all the toys are!”

Sam picked up the sack and opened it. Although it appeared to be bulging with presents, when Sam looked inside there was nothing but darkness. He tried reaching inside and the sack collapsed flat as a pancake.

“Hey, it’s empty!” Sam said. “What’s going on?”

“It’s magic, dummy!” Randy said. “We gotta find out how to make it work!”

Santa was still on the floor, moaning and holding his aching gut. Randy kicked the old man in the stomach and demanded to know how to get toys out of the magic sack. Sam joined in, kicking Santa in the back, and soon both boys were kicking and stomping away. They stopped when it was clear that Santa was in no condition to answer them. The old man rolled onto his back and let out a loud groan, trying to catch his breath.

“Check his pockets!” Randy said. “Maybe there’s a key or something.”

Randy tried to reach under and find Santa’s back pocket, while Sam put his hand into Santa’s big front pocket and felt around. “Nothing in here ’cept some sand,” he said.

“That’s no good!” Randy said, then he suddenly stood up. “Hey, wait a minute! Throw some of that sand on me!”

“How come?”

“Just do it, stupid! Maybe that’s the magic dust! Santa has the magic to make all wishes come true!”

Sam threw a handful of the dust at his brother. It sparkled in all different colors as it descended on Randy’s body. Randy closed his eyes tight and made a wish. His skin gave off a bright green glow as the dust settled on him, then it quickly faded. Randy took a slow, deep breath and exhaled.

“That must be it! I really felt somethin’!”

“What did you wish for?”

“I’ll let ya know in a minute. Lemme see if it worked first.”

Randy flexed his arms up and down. His body looked the same, but it felt different. He reached for the fireplace tools and picked up a poker. He tried bending it with all his strength. The iron rod didn’t budge.

“Dammit! It didn’t work! I wished for super-strong muscles!” Randy said. He threw the poker down and stamped his feet. Then he looked at his little brother, who was staring at him with wide eyes.

“Hey lookit, Randy! You’re up in the air!”

Randy looked down at his feet and saw they were about six inches off the ground. He was floating! He flapped his arms once and his body rose all the way up to the ceiling.

“Wow, I can fly! That must be the dust that Santa uses on his reindeer! Man, this is sweet!”

Randy tried moving around the room. He found he didn’t need to move his arms at all. He could guide his body around the room just by concentrating on where he wanted to go. With a little practice, he could swiftly fly from one corner of the room to another.

Santa was blinking his eyes and sitting up. He was still a little groggy, but he sensed that the boys were up to more trouble. When he looked up and saw Randy flying, he shouted, “Oh, no!” and tried to get to his feet.

“You’re in big trouble now, old man!” Randy cried. He held both fists out in front of him and swooped down as fast as he could. Santa’s belly made a large target, and the boy didn’t miss. The old man had the wind knocked out of him again and fell on his back, gasping.

“Yeah!” Randy shouted. “This is awesome! I can dive bomb anyone and they can’t even touch me!”

“I wanna fly too!” Sam whined.

“Wait a minute!” Randy said, smoothly dropping back to the floor and landing on his feet. “Check his other front pocket!”

“There’s just some more sand in here.”

“Toss it on me! This might be even better!”

Sam threw a handful of the stuff at his brother, just like before. This time the sparkling dust made a bright blue glow as it settled over Randy’s body. The older boy’s eyes were shut tight as he made his wish. When the glow faded, Randy took another deep breath.

“Wow, that was intense! That must be some powerful magic dust! I must’ve got my wish this time!”

Randy picked up the fireplace poker and tried bending it again, without success. He started spewing obscenities, but suddenly stopped and began gasping for air. Randy’s body began shaking, as if he were having a seizure. He dropped the poker and looked frightened. Sam thought his brother was gonna be sick or something. He took as step back as Randy’s body started trembling more violently. Randy could feel his body changing inside. He felt a tightness in his gut and looked down to see his stomach muscles knot up into perfect six-pack abs. At the same time, his chest was expanding. In just a few seconds, his pecs grew into huge, thick plates of solid muscle. His shoulders were growing broader, and he felt his back muscles spreading out with powerful thickness. The muscles in Randy’s arms and legs were inflating like balloons. His thigh muscles were bulging obscenely large, stretching his pajamas to the limit. Randy’s arms were not only swelling to enormous size, they were also becoming harder as they grew until the muscles looked like iron bands bulging under his tightly stretched skin.

When Randy finally stopped growing he wasn’t any taller, but his body was bulging all over with massive, solid muscle. He looked like a ten-year-old version of Mr. Olympia. Little Sam stared at his brother with wide eyes, too shocked to say anything. Randy gave him a big smile as he slowly stretched and pumped his new muscles.

“Man, I feel great! Lookit these mega-awesome muscles, bro! They feel super strong when I flex ’em!”

Randy picked up the iron poker and bent in into a loop in less than two seconds. He tossed it aside and struck a double-biceps pose for his little brother.

“Check it out, Sam! Your brother is the strongest person in the world!”

Sam watched as Randy’s biceps grew into softball-sized mounds of rock-hard muscle. His shoulders were like melons and his lats flared out like wings. Randy’s magnificent pecs were like thick plates of solid armor and his six-pack abs looked as hard as a brick wall. He had the kind of definition that should have been impossible in a boy his age, complete with bulging veins that ran up his arms and laced over his peaked biceps.

Santa was coming to his senses again. He sat up and shook his head to clear it. Randy walked up confidently and grabbed the old man by the lapels.

“Thanks for giving me these muscles, Santa! This is the best Christmas ever! Now I can make you tell me all the secrets of your magic, so Sam and me can have all the toys in the world!”

Randy’s arms bulged powerfully as he yanked the big man off the ground. He easily hoisted Santa up above his head like he weighed nothing at all.

“Here’s a little sample of what you’re gonna get if you don’t do what we say!” Randy said. With a mighty heave he threw the old man toward the fireplace. Santa flew through the air and his back hit hard against the bricks, then he fell in a heap on the hearth. Randy reached down with only one hand this time and picked Santa up off the floor. Sam gasped as he saw his brother standing there holding that big man above his head with only one arm. No other ten-year-old boy could even dream of having giant muscles like that! The thick muscles of Randy’s huge V-shaped torso looked pumped and massive, and the veins in his huge arms were pulsing with power.

“This is for not giving me that new bike I wanted last Christmas, Santa!” Randy yelled. His super-strong arm easily threw Santa across the room again. The big man knocked over a chair and lamp before landing in a heap in the corner.

Randy was on top of Santa in an instant, flying over the scattered furniture like a comic book super-hero. He slapped the old man lightly to bring him to full consciousness, then pulled him to his knees and spoke to him nose-to-nose.

“Tell us how the magic bag of toys works and I’ll let you go. Otherwise, I’ll just have to keep beating you up. And you’re not gonna last too long once these muscles start working on you! Take a good look, old man!”

Randy flexed his right arm right in front of Santa’s face. The stunned man blinked and stared in shock as the boy’s enormous biceps swelled into full hardness right under his nose. He shivered with fear at the thought of what that huge rock-like muscle could do to him. Randy smiled proudly, enjoying the rush of power he felt when he flexed his mighty arm. The boy pumped his biceps once and watched the super-powerful peak rise up even higher.

“Yeah, take a look at that! I think maybe my muscles are still growin’! I can feel ’em gettin’ even stronger! What d’ya say, Santa? Do we got a deal? Or do I use this muscle to start breakin’ your creaky old bones!”

“I can’t let you have my magic!” Santa said weakly. “It could be used to do terrible things!”

“Wrong answer, Santa!” Randy yelled. He grabbed the front of Santa’s shirt and flung him across the room again, sailing right into the Christmas tree. Santa hit the ground with a thud and the decorated tree fell on top of him.

“Hey Randy, you’re gonna wake up Mom and Dad!” Sam said.

“Are you kidding? Dad snores like a chainsaw and Mom wears earplugs. You couldn’t wake them if you shot off a gun in their room!”

Randy zoomed across the room using his flying power again. He pulled Santa out from under the tree and tried shaking the dazed man to get his attention.

“Come on, Santa!” Randy shouted. “You’re just makin’ me angry. And when I get angry, people get hurt!”

Randy grabbed Santa by the shoulders and flew him up at full speed, crashing his head into the ceiling and making a dent in the plaster. Then he flew down and smashed the old man’s body to the floor equally hard.

“I can keep this up all night if ya want, Santa! My muscles are hardly even gettin’ a workout beatin’ you up!” Randy stood over the groaning old man and flexed his body again. His gigantic muscles swelled into stone hardness with every sinew visible under his tight skin. The smiling young boy looked incredibly powerful and totally invincible.

“What — what do you want?” Santa gasped, only half-conscious.

Randy grabbed Santa by the shirt and pulled him up face-to-face. His huge veiny biceps bulged menacingly as he shook the old man.

“You know what I want! I want you to tell us how your magic bag of toys works, then give it to us so we can have all the toys in the world! And we want all your magic dust, too, so we can make wishes for anything else!”

Hearing this, Santa eyes rolled up in his head and he seemed to faint. Before Randy could try and revive him, there was a loud noise at the fireplace. A pointy-eared elf stepped out of the cloud of ashes and soot, brushing off his green tunic and pants.

“You just gave Santa a pretty big order, kid,” the elf said. “Maybe you and I should have a little talk about this.”

As he stepped forward, a second elf came down the chimney and tumbled onto the hearth. He was a bit smaller than the first.

“You go get the little guy over there and hold onto him, Morty,” the first elf said. “I’ll deal with Mr. Muscles here.”

“Who are you?” Randy demanded.

“Haven’t you ever heard of Santa’s helpers?” the elf said. “I’m Marvin and that’s Morty. We tag along behind Santa on his rounds just in case anything goes wrong. He’s not getting any younger, you know. Mistakes like this happen sometimes.”

Morty got behind Sam and held him firmly by the arms. Randy let Santa drop to the floor and confronted Marvin.

“I ain’t scared of you guys!” Randy said. “I could whip both your asses in about two seconds! I just made myself the strongest person in the world!” He struck a double-biceps pose for Marvin, then let out an intimidating growl as he moved into his best most-muscular pose. Randy’s huge, powerful ten-year-old body exploded with super-hard muscle.

“Oh yeah? Well, two can play that game!” Marvin said. He quickly pulled off his tunic and reached in his pocket for some magic dust. He tossed it in the air and as it descended on his body the bright blue glow enveloped his entire form.

In a matter of seconds the elf’s body grew until he was transformed into a carbon-copy of Randy’s physique. The two were about the same height, so it looked like they were evenly matched. Marvin flexed for Randy, imitating the boy’s poses and showing off his equally huge muscles.

“Now, what were you saying about kicking my ass, kid? Santa may be too nice a guy to fight you back, but I’m not! That’s why he has us elves around to do his dirty work for him. And we don’t like it when some selfish little brat like you tries to take advantage of Santa! So let’s you and me settle this thing right now, kid, because we’re way behind schedule already!”

Marvin moved in quickly and planted a fist right into Randy’s unprotected abs. The boy grunted, but his rock-solid stomach muscles absorbed the blow. He responded with a fist to the elf’s jaw that knocked Marvin several paces backward. After that, the two traded blow after blow as they picked up the pace. Super-punches that would have knocked a normal man through a brick wall were being met by solid bodies packed with huge muscles that were harder than steel! No one seemed to have an advantage as the fight continued for several minutes. Then Randy managed to block one of the elf’s punches and at the same time returned a powerful slug to the gut that seemed to knock the wind out of Marvin. Using his momentary advantage, Randy grabbed the elf under the arms and lifted them both into the air using his flying power. Then he flew Marvin across the room at full speed, ramming his back into the fireplace. The elf’s head smacked hard on the bricks and he was dazed. Randy released the elf and let his limp body fall to the hearth.

“Hey, no fair! You can fly!” yelled Morty. The smaller elf let go of Sam and ran to help Marvin, but Randy easily knocked him unconscious with a single blow to the head.

“I’ll finish you off later, runt!” Randy spat. “Right now I gotta show your buddy who’s the real boss around here!”

Randy knelt over Marvin and wrapped his hands around the elf’s throat. Squeezing as hard as he could, Randy smiled as he felt his strong fingers begin to crush the muscles of Marvin’s neck. The elf coughed and sputtered. He tugged on Randy’s wrists, but the lack of oxygen was already starting to weaken him.

“How do you feel now, sucker?” Randy gloated. “I told ya my muscles can’t be beat! I’m stronger ’n you — and everyone else! Now that there’s no one left to rescue Santa, I’m keeping him here as my prisoner until he gives us everything we want! And there ain’t nothin’ you can do about it — loser!”

Randy pressed his thumbs harder into Marvin’s throat, crushing the windpipe. The muscles in his powerful forearms were bulging thicker than ever. The elf’s face grew red as a beet as Randy’s hands squeezed tighter and tighter.

Sam was so exicted he jumped onto Randy’s broad back and held on to his brother’s powerful shoulders.

“Yeah, get him, Randy!” the younger boy shouted. “Make him suffer!”

Marvin’s eyes rolled up and his arms dropped limply to his sides. Randy held the choke for several more seconds, then let go. The elf wasn’t moving.

“I guess I showed him!” Randy said with a satisfied grunt. Then he heard Santa moan and saw the old man trying to rise to his feet. The boy stood up to go after him, but felt a tug at his ankle.

“I’ve got something to tell you,” Marvin said in a breathless and raspy voice. He was alive, but barely strong enough to raise his head.

Randy immediately jumped on the elf, grabbing his throat with his left hand and drawing back his right fist.

“You better make it quick, before I smash your face in and finish you off for good!” Randy said.

“You want to know why I’m smiling right now?” Marvin said. “It’s because I know something that you don’t!”

Randy tensed his right arm and shook his fist, threatening to strike. The huge muscles in his arm were throbbing like crazy. He had a very angry look on his face.

“You better tell me right now or I’ll break every bone in your body!” Randy shouted. “Tell me!!”

Marvin blinked his eyes and labored to take a breath as Randy’s hand closed around his throat. “The… magic… dust… is…”

“Is what??” Randy shouted.

“…only… temporary!”

As if on cue, Randy could feel his body begin to change. It felt like little animals were writhing under his skin as his muscles began to pulse and throb. He jumped up and thrashed around the room, like a marionette being tugged on by invisible strings. As his body began to deflate, his muscles were jiggling like water balloons. Then his body seemed to shrink inward on itself, and Randy collapsed to the floor looking like the same ten-year-old boy he was before.

Marvin stood up and caught his breath, rubbing his throat. His body was still pumped-up with huge muscles, and he was recovering his strength quickly. Morty regained consciousness and sat up, blinking and rubbing his jaw. Santa was fully recovered now, and demanded to know what was going on.

“I’ll tell you what was going on!” Marvin said angrily. “This little brat was trying to kill me!” He jumped on top of Randy and started to choke him. “How does it feel now, kid? You like being on the receiving end for a change?” The elf’s enlarged muscles looked huge and powerful. Randy began to sputter and choke.

“Stop this instant and get off him!” Santa shouted. The elf reluctantly obeyed and pulled Randy to his feet. “I have just the thing these boys need. Hold them for me while I find the proper magic dust. I know I have it here somewhere.”

Marvin easily held the struggling Randy while Morty once again gripped Sam’s arms and moved him next to his brother.

“You boys have had quite a busy night and I think it’s time you got some sleep,” Santa said soothingly. “The Sandman gave me this dust just for that purpose.” He took a pinch of the magic dust and sprinkled it on each boy’s eyelids.

When the dust hit Randy’s eyelids, they felt like they were made of lead. He couldn’t keep them open any longer. Energy seemed to drain downward out of his body and into the floor. His knees would have collapsed if Marvin hadn’t been holding him up.

“Now, off to bed you two. My elves will tuck you in while I start cleaning up this mess.”

Randy felt himself being carried off to bed, but he was already half-asleep. Marvin whispered in his ear.

“Nice try, kid! You almost had me. Surprising me with that flying thing was a pretty good move. But you picked the wrong way to try and get what you want. Next time, try being good for a change. Take it from me, it’s the good little boys who end up with all the loot! I oughtta know!”

By the time his head hit the pillow Randy was already asleep.

The next thing Randy saw was the face of his mother shaking him in bed.

“Hey you two! This is a first! I’ve never had to wake you up on Christmas morning before!”

Randy and Sam jumped out of bed and ran to the living room. The tree was back up and the furniture was all in place. Everything looked normal. Even the crack in the ceiling plaster had been repaired, somehow.

“Look, Sam — they fixed everything! That must have taken them a long time.”

“Who?” Sam said, rubbing his sleepy eyes and blinking.

“Come on, don’t you remember? When we caught Santa last night and you threw the magic dust on me and my muscles grew real big and I beat up Santa and threw him around the room and stuff?”

Sam frowned at Randy like he was crazy.

“Oh, great! They made you forget everything when they put you to sleep! Nice touch, Santa!”

Sam ignored his brother and started ripping open his presents. Randy ran to the fireplace and grabbed the iron poker.

“Look! It’s got a tiny kink in it! Can you see it — right here in the middle! Marvin must have bent it back but he could’t get it perfectly straight.”

Sam paid no attention and continued to tear into his presents. Randy’s mom came into the room with her camera and his dad wheeled in a brand new bicycle.

“Look what Santa left for you last night, Randy!” he said.

“Wow, Dad! The old man did it! He must have felt like he owed it to me or somethin’.”

“What do you mean, son?”

“Well, you know, I beat him up pretty good so maybe this is my prize. Or maybe it’s like a bribe. He gave me the bike so I won’t try to beat him up anymore.”

“You beat up Santa? Oh, Randy! This didn’t happen down at the mall, did it? Your mom and I told you not to get into any more fights, son! You’ll get expelled from school again!”

“Naw — it happened last night here in the living room. The old guy was tryin’ to protect his magic dust — you know? But at least I got somethin’ I wanted anyway!”

“Oh — last night, huh? Well, I’m sure Santa gave you this bike because he wanted you to be a good boy this year.”

“Yeah, well — maybe,” Randy said. “But we’ll see about next year — now that I know to watch out for Marvin!” •

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