With half the bottle gone I thought it time to get out any visible place before the cops picked me up. That's when I heard a voice, "You never did care what people saw you do, Eli." I turned about expecting to have a badge put his hand on my shoulder and shove my into the back of a patrol car. Instead I saw someone in the cab of a pick up as it slowed down to where I was on the side walk. Whoever was driving then got out and made his way to me. He said, "But maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you've wanted to get picked up all the while." I was about to respond to these impertinent observations with as much wit as the Chardonay would allow but then I recognized who it was who was now approaching me with a smile cutting across his improbably handsome mouth.

I'm sure most of you who by the time they were in high school knew not only the difference between girls and boys but what made each unique and deliriously wonderful must have picked out those from each sex as kind of paragons of bodily perfection. I can to this day still name my own. The most divinely beautiful, sexy, intelligent, and loving girl I ever knew was Cassidy O'Rourke. I loved her and wanted to bed her like no one's business. But, despite what may have been very warmn feelings on her part, I never persued the matter beyond playful fondling on the campus. Out of my league I thought. Way out of my league. Too smart. Too beautiful. Too charing. I'd just look even more like a prick. I heard she's now married and chair of the department of English at a university where they have college jackets. That's is so awesome I could cry. Now for the males... well, only one name comes to mind, too: Ignacio Alvarez. While Cassidy may have been out of my league I'm sure that she's been evenly matched in whatever wonderful bastard is now her husband. But for Ignacio I don't know how any human being could be even matched. He was beyond the whole fucking species.

Let me go on: The first time I saw him was when I was passing the weight room while I was getting my bike. Through the open door I saw... Jesus, there's no way to describe the shock. I mean everything in me stopped: my breathing, my heart, my brains. Everthing remained still while I was looking at the most abundant muscular body I've ever seen. I've seen some muscles in my time. Getting an athletic buddy to flex was always a delicious pleasure. But this guy, proportionally had to be the biggest man in the world. I mean, he was short. Maybe just five foot three. But that five foot three had to have about three feet and a half in width along the shoulders and chest. I had heard about some monster on campus from my friends; some kid (kid!) who broke all the school weight room records and wasn't allowed to play on any team lest someone got hurt. It didn't need any more cognizance of the student body to know that I was staring at that very kid as he put weights on a leg machine. Later I looked through a year book and I found his junior year picture: Ignacio Alvarez was his name and I jerked off three times a day thinking about him for the rest of the school year.

Imagine my embarrassment then when I've got this legend of my private moments right in front of me. I'm drunk. He's smilling. I'm in my fucking gown alone and, from what I remember, lost. The cleverest thing that came to mind was, "My name's Elijah."

"I know, I called you Eli."

"So you did," I tried to shrug this off with a, "forgive me but I don't have your name."

"Igancio Alvarez, pleased to meet you. I liked your speech." He extended his hand. (Goddamn, his forearms were as thick as canned hams!) I took his hand and I thought I could feel an inhuman power in him even in a friendly shake. I shivered violently. "Are you getting cold out here?" he said. Suddenly, through my drunken fog, the wheels started spinning again. If I play this one right... who knows! I shivered again just thinking about it. "Yeah," I said, "I'm getting cold. I should be heading back home before I catch something. We have very weak constitutions in my family." "You want a lift? I could drop you off if you don't mind a stop over at my place first." What the Hell was going on here, I thought. Everything was going according to plan and I never counted on that. "Sure," I said.

I tried to keep the conversation going in the cab so I could have a better pretext to look directly at him. My god! Everything about him was perfect. His face was extrodinary: very delicate, finely featured, with large balck eyes. His hair was raven colored and fell over his forehead in thick, healthy bangs. The muscularity of his body... well, I was afraid that in my imaginative encounters with him after I first saw him I may have made him even thicker than he was. As it turned out he was even bigger than I remembered or even imagined him. He was wearing a grey cotton top that formed a second skin over him. I fucking envied that cotton top more than I did any mortal. His fine brown skin looked radiant on arms that had to be bigger than my thighs (maybe my waist!) and his chest was insanely thick. His pecs had to be four inches deep. While we were in the car they rested and the hidden power within them set my teeth on edge. I managed to talk rather naturally with him. He's no dummy, I said to myself, in fact he's pretty sharp and funny. But remember, you felt his hand... perhaps it's a good idea now to tell him that you have no home to go to. Plus, think about the way he's looking at you. Doesn't it seem like he's mirroring your look? Nah!

"Ignacio," I began, "I have to tell you before we get any closer to your place that I was kicked out of my house a week ago. I'm staying with a friend right now but only as a guest." "Yeah, I know." I was expecting some, like, reflective moment where he was supposed to role this over in his head as to what to do with me. "So you know, " I began, "That what I mean by going home is just to a friend's couch. So you don't have to worry about getting me back home at all." "Yeah, I was actually hoping you'd stay at my place. I've been meaning to meet you for a long time you know." I was struck dumber than a stone. He looked at me with eyes that flashed something devilish and said, "And I have a fealing that you've been meaning to, too."

Ok, stop whatever you're doing. Drop whatever plan you had. Change course, right now! What to do? Only one thing to do: tell the truth and hope no one catches you beacuse of it. "Yeah, well what can I say," I said all very easy, "You are pretty fucking hot." "You don't say." "I've got to admit, Ignacio, You've got a body on you worth remembering." "But you really love me for my mind, right?" He laughed. I almost cried. "Mind me asking though," I was fighting back tears, "why I'm so goddamn lucky? Why me? I've no body to speak of. I'm not very nice nor very funny. Why?" "I always thought you were cute." When was he ever looking at me? What did he see me do from a far? But since honesty seemed to be infasion right now I said, "And I think you're the best thing on two legs." He flashed a smile at me and turned into his driveway. "Flattery like that is going to make me very vain, one of these days," he said as he reached over and, while I broke into a cold sweat, unbuckled my safety belt.

We entered his home. He turned on the lights which encouraged me. I like a nice empty house. Uncle Ted, for all his generousity in a lot of areas, never once gave me a night alone so I might have a lover over. "Got any siblings?" I asked as I followed him down the hall. "I live with my older brother. He's away at a conference right now." "Oh, an academic?" "Nah, business. It's for research chemists." "I knew only a lab could make you," I immediately regretted saying this but he turned around, smiled, and, I swear, seemed to get even bigger, crowding the halway, and said, "You have no idea."

His room seemed ridiculously small. Only two or three of him could have been in there at the same time. "Make yourself comfortable," he said as he sat on the bed taking off his shoes and socks, "are you thirsty?" "I might need a chaser latter but... I'm fine... just taking everything in right now." "cool." "So you think I'm cute?" "Oh yeah, I've heard all about you too. A genius, people say." "Well, I do pretty well in some areas... do you... do you get anything out of school?" "Just the weight room. Other things are fine, actually. Especially history. But they take away time from my real passion." I didn't have to ask but I did anyway, "And what passion would that be?" He peeled his shirt off and let every muscle settle. He watched as inertia set in again in his pecs and then looked up at me, "My passion is in becoming the biggest man who ever lived." He then started to flex his pecs. A real pec dance. He rolled his pecs, actually. From the bottom a firm bar of muscle appeared then rolled all the way up to the top of the pecs then dissapeared only to reamerge at the bottom again. It was the most heavenly thing I'd ever seen. "Come on," he said, laughing, "they're waiting." •