Davey's parents were concerned that he would need to make some money over the summer, but the camp folks said that he would still have two months of the summer to earn money, and that he could earn quite a bit once he came back from Camp.

Davey and I were both excited as we talked about how it would be cool to be at the camp together, even though I was really working a summer job.

"D'ya think they can really help me, Mickey?" Davey asked with hope in his eyes.

"Well, all I know is that the guy I interviewed with said he was a blob before he started working out with the owner, and now he's a major hunk."

Oh my God, did I just say "hunk"?

"Geez, Mickey, sounds like you got a crush the guy!" Davey let loose his laugh, a big beautiful laugh that resonated through the room. Davey is an incredible guy. A great sense of humor, and a beautiful face that shone through all the extra weight he carried.

Davey developed some psychological problems around the time his dad had the accident. He took to eating and the anti-depressants the shrinks gave him boosted his weight to enormous proportions. He got to the point where he felt pretty worthless about himself and he even admitted to me that he had felt suicidal on more than one occasion, even with the anti-depressants.

I had to be honest with him. He was my best friend in the whole world and we faced the worst punishments at school together.

"Davey, I think I am turned on by him. " I watched his eyes on me and he did not register any expression. That could be good, that could be bad.

"Anyway," I continued, "I know I was turned on by the muscles on the guys at the hotel. Davey, I went home and jerked off after the interview, and all I could think about were their muscles."

"Wow," Davey said without expression. He looked like he had been hit with a bombshell. I guess he had. So had I. I realized exactly what I said and what I implied as he sat there silently. I had no regret, just fear. Fear that my best friend would soon reject me.

We sat in silence for several minutes. Davey was my best friend and I needed to tell someone. I trusted him. Now did he trust me?

He turned his head toward me and smiled a cockeyed smile. That alone gave me great relief. He spoke slowly and haltingly, "I… I'm OK with this, Mickey. I know what it's like to want something and not get it. I know what it's like to be different from others. We've been friends for eleven years, ever since we started first grade. I'm OK with this."

Tears streamed down my face as he spoke. I honestly never thought that I was gay until that very moment. I knew that I had some attraction to women, but I far more wanted those muscled guys from the camp. I knew the true feeling of lust for another man at that moment. Thanks to Davey, I finally could identify my inner thoughts and feelings. That's why we were such close friends. That's why we would always be friends.

"Thanks, bud," I managed to get out. He put his arm on my shoulder and sat silently with me.

The next day, Davey and I met up with Don at a local shopping center. We each had the required soap, deodorant, insect repellant, socks, and shoes. We would be issued uniforms at the camp when we arrived. Don shook Davey's hand and he gave me a big wink, like we were going to all become good friends. Our parents were there, too, to wish us well. My mother looked worried because I only took two inhalers with me for the entire two months.

"Don't worry, Mom," I told her, "You can always send more if I run low too soon." Dad was also looking stoic but worried. "I'll be fine, folks! They will let me call once a week, you know!"

Dad laughed and cleared his throat, like he would not see me again. He and Mom suddenly looked old, even though they were barely forty. We drove off, leaving our folks and our old lives behind. •