Before me stood a kid, by any stretch of the imagination, about 5’6” and looked all of 16 years old. He had blond hair and blue eyes. He was wearing a sweat suit, and he carried a duffle bag which looked like it was stuffed with clothing. I asked what it was for and he told me it was full of costumes necessary during the “change!”

“Can I set up over here sir?”, he pointed toward my couch and coffee table. “Knock you self out.” I said rather lifelessly. As he proceeded to move my furniture around, I looked over the MusclePup brochure. It promised a night of muscle fantasy beyond anything a muscle lover could want. It had testimonials of satisfied customers numbering in the thousands. But the company itself was very secretive and its clientele was sworn to secrecy too. I got the gift card from my buddies at the gym for my Birthday. I just turned 45 and I was in a bit of a funk. They bought me this to cheer me up. I found out later it cost nearly $6,000.00 for a 4 hour stint with this “STUD”.

By this time my little stud, had made himself at home. He set up his clothing on the couch, ranging from a small wrestling singlet to some really large pairs of shorts. I wondered what he was going to do with those. He also set up a video camera and a small set of dumbbells. “Wow, you had a lot in that duffle bag!” I said, “Yeah I am a bit stronger than I look right now!” Finally he set a thermos on the coffee table and pulled out a disclaimer form.

He motioned me to sit next to him on the couch and started. “We at MusclePup like our privacy and the privacy of the clients. Here is a disclaimer form promising we will never divulge your personal information to anyone, and in return you cannot reveal this experience to anyone.” “Here is a schedule of what to expect tonight: Hour one 15 pounds, hour two 30 pounds hour three 60 pounds and finally the grand finale hour four 120 pounds.” I looked at him quizzically, “Pounds?” “Is that what you are going to lift for me.” “Sign here Mr. Seagal” he was holding out the disclaimer, “And then I can tell you more.” I signed the disclaimer pretending to read the fine print, which I later wished I did. “Okay done!”

“Kewl, now we can start…” ‘In the next 4 hours Mr. Seagal you will witness muscular growth like you have never seen before. The pounds referred to in the schedule is going to be the increase of my body weight in muscle over the next 4 hours.” “I will also grow in stature, in the last 2 hours. That change will be directly proportional to how much you participate in the show.” “I promise an exciting evening!”

I sat there stunned. I then started to laugh out loud, which seemed to spur on my little

STUD even more. “You don’t believe me do you?” “Well…. Let’s just say...” I stuttered. Johann looked at me with an almost sinister expression and said, “Let’s get started, Oh by the way once under way there is no stopping this… at all.”

Johann stood up and guided me over to my EZ-boy recliner and sat me in it. “The best seat in the house Mr. Seagal!” “We are going to be here a while Johann you can call me John.” I said trying to relax. “Thanks, John.” Johann walked over to his thermos and guzzled down the entire contents. “What is that?” I asked. ‘The catalyst that starts the reaction.” He replied.

Johann put the thermos down and walked over to my stereo and turned on a quiet jazz station. He then turned to me and started his show. In the slow version of the traditional striptease dance he stared to shed his sweat suit. He slowly slid the front zipper of the shirt down, and slowly revealed what I was surprised to see a defined 6 pack of abs in a red white and blue wrestling singlet. He whipped off the shirt and threw it on the couch, then in a split second, I heard a rip of Velcro and the pants were off too. What stood before me was a 160 pound kid who was obviously no stranger to the weight room. His muscles glistened slightly under the wrestling singlet as he sauntered over to my chair, gyrating his hips to the soft music in the background. He hesitated in front of me and I had a chance to massage some muscle, then I noticed he seemed to be sweating some more. I looked in his eyes and I seemed to notice a change in his face, almost a squaring off of the features…”No I thought to myself, that couldn’t be happening…”

Johann then walked over to the dumbbells and started to curl them, accentuating his biceps with every curl showing them off. He was really sweating now, and I noticed the more he sweat the more defined his muscles got. Striations and veins were showing up on his arms and chest. It was almost like his body fat was melting away. I thought to myself “Do his arms look bigger..” I really couldn’t tell.

Fifteen minutes had gone by and I was really getting into this kid’s act when the phone rang in my bedroom. I excused myself and left Johann dancing and pumping in the living room……. •