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|I'm a television producer, mostly syndicated stuff, the sort of stuff that usually appears on UHF stations or low-rent cable networks, you know, like "Alien Autopsy", "Amityville: The Real Story", that sort of thing. Name's Steve Nicholas - you won't recognize the name - I've never won an Emmy, I'm not in it for awards. I believe there are stories out there that need to be told, and I want to make sure you have the opportunity to see them. My production company is a play on my name, St. Nicholas Productions.
My secretary Linda, had made an appointment with a guy who claimed to have the next 'big thing' in TV, and wanted to present his idea to me. Normally, this sort of thing isn't done like this - usually agents are the ones to approach me, but my secretary said this guy sounded sincere, and that she thought he might really be onto something, but she wouldn't give me a clue what it was he was pitching.
The hour of the appointment arrived - Linda buzzed me, "Mr. Bill Ross is here, Steve."
"Send him in."
Momentarily, my office door opened, and a short balding guy with a paunch came waddling into my office - he reminded me of Danny DeVito. He was carrying a DVD - he had no other materials, not even a briefcase. I stood, and offered my hand - he ignored me, looking around instead for my DVD deck...
Spotting the unit on the shelves to his left, he walked over, turned on the deck and the TV monitor, and then inserted the disc. I would normally not tolerate such a display of rudeness, but something about this little man told me to at least hear him out. I sat down, and prepared to watch. We waited a moment, and a very unprofessional looking text screen appeared on the monitor it offered a single choice, labeled, "VTS_01" - obviously, this was a disc someone had created on their PC at home. This could be tedious, I thought. The little man finally spoke, as he walked over towards my desk, "I'm Bill Ross, would you start the program, please?"
Again, I offered my hand, and motioned for him to take a seat, he did sit, but again refused to shake hands. I reached for the remote, and hit the 'Enter' button.
I was greeted with a blue screen, and the text, "[Insert theme music/opening montage here]". Oh brother, I thought - Linda is going to pay dearly for making me sit through this!
Then, the blue screen faded, and the image of a young man in a polo shirt appeared. The man was pleasant looking enough - I thought he looked vaguely familiar, but couldn't place him for sure. "I'm Gary Ross, and this, is SUPER KIDS!!" Another blue screen, with the text, "[Theme music/abbreviated opening montage inserted here]"
I was growing more impatient by the moment. How dare this idiot take up my time with this unfinished piece of junk? I was about to hit 'Eject' on the remote, when suddenly, the blue screen gave way to a close-up of what looked like a flexing bicep - round, full, and with a nice vein running across the top - the peak was nice - not professional quality, but still very impressive. Now, I consider myself bi-sexual. I've been married for over 20 years. My wife and I share an open bed though. We both have a thing for muscles... we have, on occasion, gone cruising through Venice Beach, looking for musclemen (and the occasional musclewoman) to share our bed. So, this image of a flexing bicep got my attention, for the moment.
The camera pulled back on the image of the flexing bicep - the reveal was a kid! A kid, I guess about 12 or so - a kid with big muscles! The kid was wearing cut-offs, and flexing and posing as though he were in a bodybuilding contest - he appeared to be in a park. Shortly, the 'host', Gary Ross, joined him.
"This is eight-year-old Larry Rinaldi, he's a third grader at Mt. Washington Elementary in St. Louis. Larry, just how did you come to get all these big muscles?"
The boy stopped posing, and looked at the host, "My Daddy is a bodybuilder - he lets me work-out with him." At that moment, the camera panned, and across the green of this park, we see an adult with muscles, curiously though - the kid is better developed... the man waves at the boy... he apparently doesn't realize the camera is trained on him.
"You're awfully young to have such huge muscles." Rushed pan back to the host and the young boy. "What do you do with all those muscles? After all, you're just a little boy."
"I like to lift big things."
"Big things? Like what? Give us an example."
"OK, follow me."
The camera pulled back, the two were shown to be on the edge of a river. There was a boathouse nearby. The boy walked to the boat house, where an attendant with a somewhat disgusted look stood aside while the boy reached out and put his hand on a large outboard motor - one of several on a rack outside the boathouse. The boy effortlessly lifted the motor from the rack - the motor was bigger than the child, yet he was lifting it over his head with ease - with just one hand! I found myself oddly drawn to this spectacle. It was a freak-show, for sure, but it was strangely involving... in a most basic sort of way. Just as I thought it couldn't get any freakier, the kid reached over with his free hand and grabbed another motor - he was now pressing two outboard motors - both considerably larger than him - overhead - one in each hand... and he didn't seem to be exerting any effort at all!
"Wow! Larry, that's terrific!" The boy puts the motors back in the rack. Gary Ross then walks over to the attendant and asks, "You work here - how much does those engines he was lifting weigh?"
The attendant, no longer looking disgusted - now, in fact, he was eyeing the boy with a look that bordered on lust answered, "I dunno, somewhere between 180 to 225 pounds."
"Wow, an eight-year-old SUPER KID lifting boat motors. Simply incredible."
The camera cut to the boy posing again, then faded out to blue. Another text screen: [Segment Two - Commercial break]
I hit the 'Pause' button. Mr. Ross looked at me with a look of contempt. I asked, "Gary Ross, Bill Ross - related?"
"Uh, he's my son. Can we just watch the rest of this please?"
"In a moment, I'm curious, you're pitching a TV show around kids with muscles. Surely, there aren't more than one or two kids like this one, how can you hope to sustain a show like this?"
"Oh, that's where you're wrong - there's plenty of these SUPER KIDS around... we've got lots more. In fact, we were even considering a competition as part of the show - we didn't film anything like that for this pilot, we just wanted to present the crux of our idea."
I couldn't believe there were more than one or two of these little-kid freaks around. I just wasn't buying that argument. I decided to see what, exactly he had left on this 'pilot' as he so insolently called it. I hit the 'Play' button.
The blue screen remained on the screen for a moment or two, and then faded to Gary Ross, now apparently in a gym.
"I'm here today in Hank's Gym in Houston, TX. We're about to see a record-breaking bench press. Ready to have your mind blown?" The camera moved up and down as though nodding. I couldn't believe what I was seeing!
An abrupt cut, to a close-up of a very muscular chest... at least 4" thick pectorals, striated and covered in veins... the pull out revealed another boy - this one appeared to be about 16 or so. I knew it; they'd not be able to sustain the 'Super Kids' idea without including not-so-special teens as part of the mix. This kid was big, but I wasn't sure he was so far out of the ordinary for a teen of his age.
Suddenly, Gary Ross bent into the frame, "This is 12-year-old John Sanders, and he's a 7th grader at Galena Park Jr. High, here in Houston. John, what are you going to do for us today?"
"Uh, I'm gonna bench press 675 at a bodyweight of 210lbs. That's over to three times my bodyweight."
"WOW! 12 years old, and you weigh 210 pounds! That's amazing! How'd you get so big and strong, John?"
"Uh, I been working out since I was six. My uncle is a power-lifter, and I think muscles are really hot, and I always wanted some... best way to get laid I know of..."
"Uh, OK, John." Ross interrupted, obviously flustered at the sexual reference from this 12 year-old. "Let's see that lift, shall we?"
The kid laid down on the bench, the camera panning from his amazingly packed crotch up to his awesome muscular chest - a chest that appeared to jump off the ribcage - pecs that looked to be more than a couple of inches thick. The boy's ham-sized upper arms bouncing and flexing as he readied himself for the lift, getting a grip on the bar with 7 plates on each side. The boy said, "Ready?"
Off camera, Ross said, "Anytime you are."
The boy then grimaced, and lifted the barbell from it's supports... he slowly lowered the bar to his chest, then raised it again... apparently with little effort - he was breathing rather hard, but hardly commensurate with what must be an enormous effort... I sat stunned, watching the kid lock out his arms... he'd done it! He'd lifted 675 pounds - I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Then, to make it even more unbelievable, he slowly lowered the weight to his chest, and then raised it a second time to an elbow lock. Two lifts! Amazing! He wasn't done... he proceeded to pump that massive weight for 8 more reps - a total of 10 in all - by the time he was finished, my cock was about three times it's normal size. This stuff was fucking amazing! I was a convert. I had to see more.
The young boy finally racked the weight, and barely breathing hard, looked straight at the camera, and said, "How'd I do? Was that hot enough for ya, faggot?"
I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. The kid continued, "Did ya get your rocks off over that, faggot?" He started bouncing his pecs, pumped beyond belief from the Herculean trial they'd just been put through... "Wouldn't ya like to feel these, faggot?" - the kid then looked away from the camera...
A blurry pan, and a rather red-faced Gary Ross reappeared - breathless. "That was the most amazing feat of strength I've ever seen! How about you, viewers, have you ever seen anything to equal that?" The camera pulled back, revealing Gary Ross below the waist - revealing a noticeable wet spot on the front of his pants! The screen faded to blue again, with the text: [Segment Three - Commercial break] I hit the 'Pause' button.
I looked at Bill Ross. "What the fuck was that? Are you pedaling some sort of queer shit here? What was all that faggot shit? What was with that wet spot? The implication there is something you know full well can't be aired on TV! Not even cable! What's going on here?"
Bill Ross looked at me with a sly smile, "You liked it though, didn't you? Got ya all hot n bothered, didn't it? Admit it, you got a boner over that 12-year-old boy, didn't ya, huh?"
Not willing to take this to where he was heading, I said, "Look, the point is, that's completely unacceptable dialog - re-shoot that, without the kid's smart mouth, and I'd be OK with it."
"C'mon, admit it - got ya going there didn't it? Betcha won't stand up to prove me wrong!"
He was right - no way was I going to stand up. I hit the 'Play' button. The blue screen faded.
"Gary Ross here again. Now I'm in New Mexico, on the Navajo reservation. We're going to be entertained by Calling Eagle..." The camera panned to a makeshift stage, and music started. It was being played off-camera, apparently on a rather crude boom box. I didn't immediately recognize the tune... but shortly, it became clear, Diana Ross' "I Want Muscles"... then onstage appears a massive bodybuilder wearing a loincloth, feathers hanging from his ears, long, straight black hair, flowing beyond his shoulders... the sheer size of this man was amazing... he did a posing/dance routine all choreographed to the Diana Ross oldie... the muscle-definition on this man was astonishing... without anything to judge the scale of what I was seeing, I had to guess him to be in his late teens, possibly even his early 20's - probably 6', 250lbs. His biceps were easily 22", his chest and thighs equally massive and impressive. The kid could pose, as well as dance... he was doing a few moves he'd obviously borrowed from Michael Jackson... the tune suddenly began to fade, and the exhibition was over - the kid bowed to the camera, as the music disappeared.
I glanced at Bill Ross - he was looking at me, not the screen, I guess he was looking to judge my reaction to what I'd just seen. It was impressive, but not anything out of the ordinary from any teen bodybuilding exhibition. Then, Gary Ross appeared in front of the stage, "That was Calling Eagle, folks - isn't he amazing?" He stepped up on the stage - that's when the scale became evident. The stage was small, very, small, the boy just barely made it up to Gary Ross' chest. "Calling Eagle, tell us about yourself," Ross began, putting the mike in front of the kid.
"I'm seven years old; I'm 4'4" tall, and weigh 204 lbs. I've been working out since I was three - I was born with a genetic defect that causes me to have more muscle than most kids my age. I'm really strong too, wanna see?"
"Sure. What do you have in mind?"
"Follow me," the child said. I couldn't believe what I was seeing... there was a quick cut, and the kid was standing in front of a steel pen, containing a horse, the horse was in a sling - the kind of thing that vets use. The boy began to speak.
"Mr. Ross, I'm going to lift this horse with just one hand."
"Really? Surely, you don't mean that," Said Ross in a somewhat mocking tone.
"Watch me." Said the boy. Who walked two or three steps over to the side of the steel pen - there was a rope, obviously this rope was attached to the sling around the horse in the pen - the rope ran to a single pulley on a heavy iron bar above the pen. I watched as the boy wrapped a length of the rope around his right arm, he then began to pull, and sure enough, the sling began to tighten around the horse's belly, and before I knew it, the horse was off the ground - supported only by the right arm of his seven year old Hercules. My cock could take it no longer... I shot a load right there in my pants, without ever touching myself. I don't think I made any noise, but I'm sure that Ross knew what had happened.
"There you have it ladies and gentlemen, another SUPER KID... tune in again soon for more amazing feats of strength and bulging muscles on little kids..." the screen faded to blue again, and this time, the text said, "[End Credits - Closing Theme]. That was it. It was over, or so I thought. Suddenly, there was a flashing of images - some still shots of muscles, some brief video segments - kids lifting weights, wrestling, posing, I thought I saw a kid holding up the front end of a car with one hand... I DID see a kid holding Gary Ross over his head - Ross sitting on the boy's right hand... then it was over...
"What was that?" I asked.
"Just some of the other SUPER KIDS we've found - just a teaser to show you there are plenty of 'em out there. More than enough for at least two seasons of the show. Wha'd'ya think?"
I looked at Ross. He had a very distinct smirk on his face. "OK, I'll admit, it's certainly interesting, but you have to admit, it's certainly a niche product - not likely to have wide appeal."
"Au contraire, I believe it has mass-appeal. You came over that last segment, and so has everyone I've shown this to - straight, bi, gay, male, female, doesn't matter - everyone gets their rocks off. Mass appeal, I'm tellin' ya. No porn, not even any nudity, just powerful little fuckers doing amazing things and showing us their muscles and incredible strength. My son had the idea that we could even bring on some adult bodybuilders, have them try and compete with some of these kids... I'm tellin' ya, we've seen these kids do things that some adults can't do... they're fuckin' amazing..."
I finally stood up, not caring about my receding boner and the possibly evident wet spot. I extended my hand, and said, "Ross, you got a deal." He shook my hand for the first time.
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