“I have to clean this place up,” I thought to myself.

With that, I set to work cleaning up the dishes, loading the clothes into the washer, and generally tidying up. I picked up the bag from Malta and put it on the counter, as I started cleaning off the table. With a slip of my clumsy elbow, I knocked the bag off the table, and it fell to the floor with a loud, shattering SMASH.

“Oh shit,” I thought, reaching down to pick up the bag with the presumably broken pot. What I saw next, I will never forget.

There was movement in the bag!

Out of the end of the bag crawled the most bizarre thing I've ever seen. A tiny, wizened creature, like a frog with long arms and legs, crawled out of the bag and looked up at me, blinking quizzically.

Stunned, I watched the creature as it opened its mouth. Rows of tiny sharp teeth filled it as it began to speak in a screechy, high-pitched voice.

“You have freed me from my pot,” it squeaked. “Now choose your desire.”

“Whaaaa?” I asked, stunned to see something like an eight-inch tall reject from a Lord of the Rings film staring up at me.

“I will grant you your desire. Money, power, wealth, women, but you must choose now that you have freed me!” shrieked the tiny creature, looking quite menacing for such a small thing.

“What if I don't choose? What if I stick you in a jar and flush you down the toilet?” I asked. Instantly, I felt the most intense pain all over my body that I'd ever felt – like I was being burnt to a crisp, frozen to death and drowning all at once.

Suddenly the pain ceased, and along with it, my tortured cries of agony.

“Foolish mortal, do not trifle with me. The cause is done, you have freed me, and you must now choose your desire. If you do not, I shall torture you for all eternity!” shrieked the bulbous-eyed creature.

After that unpleasant and painful experience, I did not doubt the creature's ability to. I just wanted to get rid of it, and I assumed I had nothing to lose. After all, choosing my desire was easy, right? I get a wish fulfilled, maybe, and get rid of this creature. Certainly, the alternative of permanent pain was not desirable.

I thought for a moment. What did I want? Wealth? The idea of wealth had some attraction – I could do, see and have anything I wanted. What about a boyfriend? I hadn't been in a relationship for years. As I mulled the possibility, the creature seemed to grow increasingly impatient.

Fearing another burst of pain, I suddenly dawned on an idea. Why hadn't I thought of this before? I could wish to be an incredibly attractive man. . . then I could find a boyfriend AND perhaps even make a little extra money. After all, attractive men were said to earn more money than average guys like me.

“Whatever you are, I've made a decision,” I said. The creature “smiled.”

“What is your desire, mortal?” asked the creature.

“I wish to be an attractive man. Picture if you will, a man who is incredibly attractive, who is muscular and athletic and well-endowed, with an amazing smile. A man who is masculine, with a sex drive and smouldering sex appeal that makes any gay man or woman weak in the knees when he smiles at them,” I said, nervous as I watched the expressionless creature's glinting eyes.

“You wish to be admired by men and women alike, and be desired, and incredibly attractive? One whose profession benefits from his body?” asked the creature.

“Yes,” I said. “That is my wish. Make me an incredibly handsome, athletic man with an irresistible sex appeal.”

With that, the creature started to laugh. Loud, shrieking peals of laughter echoed throughout my head, in my eardrums, as suddenly, all went black for a moment and then back to normal. The creature and pot shards were gone, and I sighed with relief. Walking past the mirror, I noted everything looked normal. Was I just hallucinating? This work stress must have been really getting to me.

With that thought on my mind, I showered, and slipping into bed, soon drifted off to sleep. •