OK...I got a nice, model type body, very proportional and lean, except for the sh--ty calves that don't seem to grow no matter what I do. If I gain mass, they do too, but as soon as I cut, its hello chop sticks again. My chest is lagging a bit too, but nothing serious. At the time I was around 75 kg lean, did some steroids, mostly low dosages and mild brands, a mass cycle or two, but nothing to write home about. So my first concern was to put on some serious mass.

On month one, I did a cycle of Galenikas Test Enanthate (you can buy itin drug stores over here in Serbia for like 5 bucks for a 250 mg amp) and Anadrol. The Enth was 500 mg on week one, and then an even 250 mg on weeks 2, 3 and 4. I started Anadrol 1 tab a day for the first 10 days, then 2 tabs/day on the next 10 days and finally 3 tabs a day on the last 10 days of the cycle. I also took Creatine, Mega Mass 30% protein, Potassium Orotat (a Russian brand of potassium tabs, helps the muscles recover, since I was training 6 days a week), Ephedrine before training (100 mg), Liv 52 for liver protection (Anadrol can be nasty on the liver) and Nolvadex for combating the Gyno Fairy. I forced myself into drinking 4-5 liters of water per day, ate like a ravenous pig and gained 30 pounds, 10 of which must have been fat, if not more. I did not bother with body fat measurments. I got incredible water retention, my libido was off the charts and zits slowly started popping up on my upper back and delts. At 90 kg (200 pounds), I was at my heaviest, strongest and fattest yet. So, it was time to tweak my battle plan a bit.

Month two was no fun at all. I wanted to gain 5 pounds of muscle and drop 5 pounds of fat, basically maintain my weight. This time it was Deca, Methyl Testosterone and some Clenbuterol for me. I started Deca at 800 mg on week one, 600 mg on week 2, 400 mg on week 3 and 200 mg on week 4. Deca was no problem, since its 3 bucks for a 200 mg vial. Neither was Methyl Test, which was 3 bucks for 20 tabs, and I only took 4-5 tabs (20-25 mg) before training. But Clenbuterol was expensive like a sunofabitch, and I ran out of it around week 2. I also started taking a more quality protein, 85% soy and whey, continued the Ephedrine and stopped Nolva, Creatine and Liv. My diet was more proetin and fat, and less carbs. I managed to drop 6-7 pounds of fat and gain some muscle, but my libido dropped to near zero from all the Deca, zits got bad plus I was a total psycho when I took the Methyl Test, a total lunatic. I screamed at my girlfriend for no reason, told various people (including my former best friend) that I would kick their ass, which I did on a few occasions, mostly in traffic situations. Like one time: A guy cut me off and stopped in front of me on a red light, then came out of the car to discuss my honking/finger habbit. Well, I came out too, I guess he didnt expect someone twice his size to drive such a small car (I have a Yugo). So he stopped half way, did a 180 and ran back inside his BMW, while I donned a crowbar and broke the drivers window on his car, grabbed his collar and kept most of it while the guy took off. I keep the ripped up collar around my rear-view mirror.

Anyway, back to my story. Month 2 was a real disaster, but things were about to get better, because it was time to get lean and light again. On the last month, I took Equipose, 200 mg a week, Test Propionate 200 mg every third day, Winstrol 50 mg also every 3rd day, ECA 3 times a day, Creatine twice a day, 30 grams of pure protein powder daily. My training split was 3 days a week, 2 workouts a day, and I did cardio on the off days for 20-40 minutes, mostly stationary bike. I did a near zero carb diet for 5 days, 5-6 meals, than took 2 cheat days (weekends). I also upped my water intake to like 6-7 liters a day. I started working as a trainer at a gym so I could train as much as I needed, and Peter soon stared training there, so we were prepping together.

I soon found out he had a totally different approach to this matter. On the last month, while I was counting the carbs and trying to drink twice as much as I sweated, Peter was eating 2-3 meals a day of egg whites, yoghurt, amino acids and an occasional pound of ice cream. He also peaked out his cycle at 300 mg of Deca. And, he looked f***ing insane, except for having weak abs and no tan to speak of. Thats genetics for you. He aimed to be in the 80-90 kg class, so I figured, despite having better overall definition, a tan and symmetry, Id still look like a 12 year old girl standing next to old Pete, so I decided to drop another 5 pounds (after dropping 15 in the first 3 weeks) and make the lightweights. And so I did. My 3 month prep was over. I had 5 days to dial in, so I went zero carbs, and started taking Test Suspension every day (100 mg) and 2 tabs of Anadrol a day, to improve my hardness and fullness. I also took Creatine and ECA, and trained every day.

So its Thursday, and the contest is on Friday at 12 noon. Im looking my best, yet feeling like total crap, tired and carb depleted to the bone. I weigh myself, and Im spilling over a good 4 pounds. So, I start a carb up and take a Lasix tab to shed all that Test/Anadrol/Creatine induced water. My girlfriend (God bless her) shaves me and sprays on the autobronze tan, and still no diuretic effect from the Lasix. So I pop 2 more (real smart, I know), gulp down some potassium and go to bed. I think I slept like a total of 3 hours that night, from all the bathroom trips I took. On Friday, Im up at 8 am, and Im still bloated, so I take 3 more Lasix tabs (BIG mistake), skip breakfast and head downtown for the prejudging.

The show is at our Syndicate Dome, and there are already some big ass mothers waiting in the hall, some talking to the press, some eating and others strutting with their shirts off. I pick out maybe 3-4 guys that COULD be in my class, and suddenly, I wonder, WTF was I thinking? Look at these monsters! Im talking about 280 pound gorillas with waistlines like mine, 29 inches, shaved, tanned and vascular as s**t. Most are very tall and bald, and there are some seniors built like Arnold, even better. I hear Milos Sarcev and Dennis James are going to guest pose. Still worried about making lightweights, I head for the bathroom to try and take a dump, and then everything goes wrong. My abs cramp up from dehydration, and the tiled walls start spinning. I try and stand up, and my quads and hip flexors cramp up as well. I hear my girlfriend asking am I OK, but it seems to be coming from under water. I manage to put my pants on and get out, only to collapse in front of the bathroom, sweating and shaking. At that time, I first start considering giving up on all of this. I meekly ask for water, and start gulping like there is no tommorow. Oh yeah. I lay for a few minutes, then manage to get up, still cramping and head for the weigh-in, pale despite the tanning beds and autobronze. I weigh in at 76.5 kg, a good 7 pounds lighter than my desired weight.

At the prejudging, I was posing down with my class, still cramping, so naturally I had lots of touble holding a pose for more than 5 seconds. But I made it, and the finals were better-no cramps, just me and the music, and then the pose down-squeeze it, hold it, pump it, spread it, sweat and cheering all over the place. I caught a glimpse of Milos Sarcev looking at me, he seemed very bored, as he probably saw these shows like a zillion times by now. I took second, very close to a really cool guy I talked to back stage, who had better calves and knew his shit when it came to posing. We shook hands, hugged and it was all over in like 5 minutes. Three months worth of effort, time, pain, health risks and money summed up in 5 minutes and a stupid piece of metal around my neck. Oh, and I was on TV for a whole 3 seconds. Naturally, I wont be doing this any time soon. I will be off of any kind of steroid for 6 months to clean up, and think and re-think this sport over. You should think too." •