Damn He's Strong


By robertschaefer932

The media picked up on the story how Steven saved the life of the cop. There were stories on TV and in the newspapers. Steven said to Bobby, "I hope they don't find out about this back home! My mom would be worried sick if she thought I was out in LA saving cop's lives!" Bobby said, "If I had a kid as big as you, I don't think I'd worry about him to much. I'd worry more about the criminals!"

When they got back to the hotel, there was a message from Mr. Allan Funt. When Steven called back, it was from Allan Funt of the Candid Camera TV show. He had seen Steven on the Tonight Show and thought that they could do some scenes using him. They would be shooting in a couple of days. They'd pick up the tab for the hotel and pay Steven $1,000.00 per day. Steven was never one to turn down using his muscles to make money, so the extended their stay in California. Bobby would be an extra and get paid too, although not $1,000.00 per day. Bobby thought that was a little unfair, but Steven told him, "Big man gets the Big Bucks!, Little man gets Little Bucks!"

The Candid Camera TV show filmed several scenes with Steven over several days. All of the scenes utilized Steven's enormous size. One of the first scenes involved a diner. There would be one seat left at the counter and Steven would take it. Of course with his very broad shoulders, he impinged on the person sitting next to him. It was interesting TV to see how these people reacted, given Steven's enormous size.

Another `diner' scene with Steven involved him sitting there and the waitress bringing plate after plate of food and seeing the reaction of the other patrons. Another variation of this involved this same set-up, but then when the food of the next person was brought, Steven ate that too. Some people were so intimidated by Steven's size that they didn't even say anything about him eating their food. One guy was going to punch Steven until they told him to "Smile, you're on Candid Camera!"

Steven told Alan Funt about the car accident in the grocery store parking lot, so they shot some scenes in a parking lot just like that to get the reaction from the other car owners to Steven`s huge size. They also had Steven sitting in a car blocking in another car. When the blocked car owner asked Steven to move his car, he'd get out and pick up the car and move it. They also hired a couple of midgets. They would sit in the car and when they were asked to move it, they'd say Steven would do it. Steven would walk up and pick up the car and move it.

They also shot some scenes with the midgets in the diner. They would be sitting there and they'd tell somebody they were waiting for their son/husband/brother and then Steven would appear. Steven was somewhat uncomfortable working around the midgets. He was always worried he was going to step on them or kick them.

They also shot some scenes in a grocery store. Steven would ask people to get things off the low shelves for him. He then offered to get things off the top shelves for them! They also shot some scenes in the grocery store where Steven was standing there holding a can. He would then crush the can with his hand. Steven would say something like, "I've just got to learn to control these muscles!" In one hilarious scene, a very diminutive, little old lady came up and hit Steven with her purse, shook a bony finger at Steven and said, "You shouldn't do that, young man!"

Steven and Bobby spent several days shooting scenes with the Candid Camera Crew. Steven earned several thousand dollars and Bobby earned several hundred. After they were finished with Candid Camera, it was time to head home. The trip home would be more leisurely than the trip out there.

Steven and Bobby stopped at Muscle Rock in California on the way home. That's a famous spot for bodybuilders to get their pictures taken. Bobby took off his shirt and got his picture taken there too as a joke. Steven really didn't have a real bodybuilder's physique. He was built more for power than show. Steven often thought that he could probably win a bodybuilding contest if he entered. He knew he'd blow away the competition during pose-offs when everybody was on the stage at the same time, and it would be obvious that he was 3 times the size of the nearest competition. Surely a 75" bicep and 150" chest would count for something!

They would take several days and stop and see some sights on the way home. They stopped at the Grand Canyon. It was very crowded and Bobby couldn't see over the crowd. Steven asked Bobby, "Do you want to sit on my shoulders? " When Bobby replied, "Sure," Steven picked him up and set him on his shoulders just like a parent would do to a small child. Bobby had a really good view from up there.

Steven and Bobby drove through Las Vegas. Bobby wanted to stop, but Steven didn't. Steven said that they couldn't gamble since they weren't 21, but Bobby said he bet they'd let Steven gamble. Steven seldom got questioned about his age, even though he had a young looking face. People never seem to consider that somebody that big might be under 21. On their trip, waiters and waitresses always offered Steven drinks. Steven didn't like alcohol at all. Sometimes people would even think Bobby was Steven' s son. Sometimes they pretended to be brothers just to see what peoples reaction would be since one was so big and the other so little, not unlike Steven and his real brothers.

Another stop they made on the way home was in Alton, IL. There is a statue in a park of the worlds tallest man ever, Robert Wadlow, who lived in Alton, IL.

Steven and Bobby arrived at the park where the Statue is. When they got out of the car, Steven said, "Now there's a guy I can look up to!" At 8'11, Robert Wadlow was 13" taller than Steven, but Steven was 270lbs heavier. Robert Wadlow's shoe size was 37, but Steven wasn't far behind at size 36.

There was a family of 4, husband, wife and 2 small kids at the park also. Steven walked up to the statue. The father of the family didn't notice Steven at first. The first thing he noticed was Steven's feet next to Robert's feet and he did a double take when he noticed that they were almost the same size! Then he looked up, and up and further up and really did a double take. He quickly compared Steven to the statue. He asked Steven, "Are you related to Robert Wadlow?" Steven laughed and said `No, just a fellow big guy coming to pay homage!"

The father asked, "Are you the world's tallest living man?" Steven said, "Maybe, but probably not! I will stake a claim to the worlds strongest man title though," and he flexed a bicep for them. The father said, "You're a pretty big guy, but the strongest man in the world? Come on. I can't believe that!" Steven just grinned at him. He went out to the parking lot. "Is this your car?" Steven asked. It was kind of a rhetorical question because there were only 2 cars in the lot. "Yes¼" the father answered hesitatingly, "Why do you ask? You're not going to hurt my car are you?" Steven replied, I won't hurt it, I promise!" With that Steven lifted one end off the ground so he could get under it and lift it up completely. The father yelled, "Hey put my car down!" and went running out to the parking lot. Steven said, "Stand back sir! This can be slightly dangerous for you little people!" and with that he stood up and proceeded to lift the man's car over his head. He raised it up and down a couple of times, just for the heck of it, then set it back on the ground. He turned the car around so the guy wouldn't have to back out when he was ready to go.

The father said, "Damn, you are the strongest man in the world!" Steven said, "Told you so!" The man's wife said, "No cursing in front of the children, dear." The father said, "Can you do that again so I can take a picture?" Steven replied, "Sure, no problem," as he proceeded to lift the car up again.

The father asked Bobby, "Does he ever get mad?" Bobby laughed, "Once in a while, and when he does, you better get out of his way! Things have a tendency to get crushed and broken!" The father replied, "I'm lucky he didn't get mad about me doubting him!" Bobby said, "He wouldn't really hurt you. Steven's a real pussycat. He might scare you real bad, but he wouldn't hurt you unless you tried to hurt him or somebody else. Just don't ever call him musclebound though!" "OK I definitely won't!" the father replied as he walked away.

Steven came over to Bobby. "What were you two talking about?" Steven asked Bobby. "That guy was just asking if you ever got mad. He thought you might be mad because he didn't believe you when you said you were the strongest man in the world. I told him you were a real pussycat!" Steven got a grin on his face. Steven said, "Let's play a little trick on him. Go along with anything I say!"

Steven reached over and grabbed Bobby across the stomach and lifted him high over his head. Steven yelled, "I've told you not to be talking about me to strangers you little twerp!" Bobby said, "I'm sorry Steven. I won't do it again!" Steven yelled, "I'm going to have to teach you a lesson, you impertinent runt!" Steven twirled Bobby around a few times. Bobby whispered, "Not too fast, I might lose my lunch!" There was a barrel in the parking lot used as a trash can. It was empty. Steven picked it up with his free hand. He put the barrel up against his chest and crushed it with his free hand like anybody else would crush a soda can!. Then he tossed it across the parking lot. "I'm going to have to crush you like that barrel!" Steven yelled at Bobby! He laid Bobby across his forearm and flexed his bicep slightly. Steven whispered at Bobby, "Scream a little." Bobby screamed and flailed his arms.

The father came running over. "Hey, leave the little guy alone. You're hurting him. Pick on somebody your own size you big bully!" Steven grabbed the father by the shirt with his other hand and lifted him over his head. "OK you two runts. Both of you put together are still no match for me!" He shook the father around a little and raised him up and down several times. Then Steven felt a tug at his pant leg. He looks down and there is one of the guy's kids. "Please don't hurt my dad, Mister Giant!" the kid says. Steven immediately set the father and Bobby down and knelt down to get closer to the little kid. "We were just kidding around. We were just playing. Nobody's going to get hurt. I'm not really mad!" Steven told him. Steven really felt guilty about scaring the little kid!

The father laughed nervously, "Boy, you had me worried for a minute there. I thought you were going to kill both of us!" Steven said, "I'd never hurt the little guy!" as he tousled Bobby's hair. Bobby said, "I do have a name other than `little guy' you know!" The little kid said, "If you're not mad, can you do that to me too?" So Steven set him in his hand and lifted him up high over his head. He did the same with the little kid's sister too.

Bobby set up his tripod and they took some gag pictures at the statue. One of them has Bobby standing between Steven and the Statue looking up. In another shot, Steven had Bobby step onto his hand. Considering that Bobby only wore a size 7 shoe, he had a lot of room given Steven's large hand size! Then Steven grasped Bobby's foot raised his hand up in the air above his head with Bobby on it. Bobby was probably a good 15 feet off the ground. Made for an interesting picture with Bobby looking down on the statue of the world's tallest man.

Actually, Steven never knew for sure if he was the tallest man in the world or not. It seems like every year when the Guinness Book of World's records came out, somebody else was listed as the world's tallest man and there would be no mention of the person from last year! Steven guessed that due to a lot of exaggeration that occurs with height, that the Guinness folks had a problem really figuring it out. Steven always said when people asked him about being the tallest that "All I know is that I'm 7'10" tall, but I don't know how tall anybody else claims to be or really is!"

Shortly after they returned from California, Steven and Bobby decided to go on a camping trip. Steven didn't really care much for camping, but Bobby liked it. Bobby told Steven, if any spiders came into camp, he'd kill them. Steven said, "I'll take care of anything bigger than a spider!"

Steven would have a problem fitting into a tent or sleeping bag. They brought a huge tarp that they could put up on poles in case of rain. There would be enough room under there for Steven. Instead of a sleeping bag, he brought along 4 air mattresses and some blankets.

Steven and Bobby weren't supposed to have a long hike from their car to the campsite. Normally hikers wouldn't attempt to bring along a cooler, but Steven wanted to bring one so they could have cold stuff and he figured he could carry it without any problem. There was no backpack that would come close to fitting Steven, so they decided he would carry 2 backpacks clipped to his belt. They started hiking to their campsite. They walked for several hours without reaching it. It was only supposed to be about a 2-hour hike! When they looked at the map, it turns out it is a lot further than it appeared. Bobby began to get tired. Steven offered to carry his backpack for him. So now he had 3 backpacks and the cooler on his shoulder. A little while later, Bobby wanted to stop for a break. Steven said they needed to keep going so that they would make the campsite before dark. A little while further, Bobby couldn't go on, so Steven scooped him up and set him on his shoulder. So now Steven was carrying 3 backpacks, the cooler and Bobby. They encountered a couple of other hikers on the trail. They heard them comment after they passed by, "Now that's the way to go camping! Have a giant carry you and all of your gear!"

Eventually they reached the campsite. They were going to build a fire, but Bobby had forgotten to bring the ax with them. Bobby said, "We'll just have to gather loose wood. We won't be able to have logs to throw on the fire." Steven said, "Let me see about that.' There was a dead tree next to the campsite. Steven went over to the tree, squatted down and grasped it in a bear hug. He began to lift. The tree came up out of the ground. Steven lowered the tree to the ground. Steven went toward the middle of the tree. He grabbed and raised it off the ground. When he got it to chest level, he put his hand underneath and pressed the tree over his head. Steven said, "Hey Bobby, Look. It's the world's largest barbell. I can get in a workout here in the woods!" Steven raised the tree up and down several times. Bobby said, "We really need firewood more than you need bigger muscles, you know!" Steven laughed, "But you can never have muscles that are too big!" Then Steven set the tree down and moved to the bottom of the tree. Steven picked up the end of the tree and lowered it hard on his thigh. A large piece of tree broke off. Then he picked up the piece of the tree that was left and crushed it with his hands. When he got done, there was a nice supply of kindling for the night. Bobby said, "Well, I guess when you've got the strongest man in the world in your camp, you don't need an axe."

Later that night, they were sitting around the fire. They heard coyotes howling at the moon. A little later they heard rustling in the woods. A little later there was a loud noise from the woods. Both of them jumped to their feet. Steven shined his light out into the woods, but didn't see anything. He looked around for Bobby and he didn't see him. "Bobby?" Steven asked. "Back here." Bobby replied. Steven looked and Bobby was cowering behind him. Steven looked at him and laughed. "Are we hiding from something back there, Bobby?" Steven said. Bobby replied, "Hey if you were me, wouldn't you take cover behind a big guy like you?" Bobby said in a real high voice, "Save me Steven, Save me!" Steven laughed and patted Bobby on the head. "I'll take care of you, little man."

The rustling continued. Steven continued to shine his light in the woods. "Steven, Look over there." Bobby whispered and pointed. Steven turned his light in the direction of Bobby's finger and the light fell on a black bear standing on its hind legs. The bear appeared to be taller than Steven. "Oh shit!" said Steven. The bear roared. Steven said, "Let's slowly back away. Maybe he'll eat our food and leave us alone." They slowly started to back away. Steven was walking backwards and couldn't see where he was going. He accidentally stepped on Bobby's foot. Having Steven step on your foot could be equated to having a car run over it! Bobby yelped. When he did, the bear began to charge.

Steven turned to start running and he saw that Bobby had gotten knocked over when Steven stepped on his foot. Steven snatched Bobby off the ground and tucked him under his arm and began running. However, the bear was gaining on them. Bears are big and fast, whereas Steven was just big! Steven decided he was going to have to try and fight the bear. He saw a tree with branches about 10' off the ground. He stuck Bobby in the tree and kept running. The bear stopped at the tree Bobby was in. Steven was about 25' away. The bear couldn't quite reach Bobby. The bear was swatting at Bobby. Fortunately, Stevens's arms were longer than the bear's legs so Bobby was slightly out of the bear's reach! Bobby started to try to climb higher in the tree. Bobby called out nervously, "Steven!" The bear began to climb the tree.

Steven decided he better take some action, otherwise Bobby would end up being a bear snack! There was a large rock on the ground, probably about 300-400 lbs. Steven picked it up and began carrying it closer to the bear. Luckily the bear had his attention on Bobby and didn't notice Steven. Steven got about 15 feet away. He raised the rock up over his head and heaved it at the bear. For once, his aim was good and he hit the bear in the head.. The bear fell from the tree. He hit the ground and kind of lay there. He appeared to be stunned, but not mortally wounded.

Steven went over to the bear. He grabbed the bear from the back in (what else?) a bear hug. He was careful to keep his arms in the middle of the bear, away from the bear's mouth and legs. Again, Stevens's long arms came in handy. He was able to wrap his arms around the bear and grasp his hands together over the bear's stomach.

Steven began squeezing as hard as he could. He heard the bear roar in pain. He heard bones breaking and internal organs rupturing. It was a sickening sound. In addition the bear really smelled bad. The bear thrashed around, but he couldn't escape Steven's iron grip and he couldn't reach Steven's arms with his mouth. Steven squeezed the bear for several minutes. He eventually stopped thrashing and became very quiet.

Steven stood up and raised the bear up over his head with both hands. It was truly a dramatic sight! Steven standing in the woods, with a 1,000+ lb. bear over raised over his head. He raised him up and down a couple of times, then gave the bear a toss. He would have kept doing it, but the bear really smelled! The bear flew about 20 feet and landed with a thud.

Steven went over to the tree Bobby was in and lifted him down. "Man, that was awesome! You killed a bear with your bare hands! You are fucking unbelievable!" Bobby said. Steven replied, "Yeah, that was pretty incredible! Kind of hated to have to kill him, but I didn't want to have to explain to your Mom that you got eaten buy a bear."

Bobby said, "Gee thanks! I wonder why he didn't go after you. You'd make a much bigger meal!" Steven laughed, "He probably caught a glimpse of this monster and decided I'd be too tough! He rather have a small tender snack than chew on a tough muscle!" Steven flexed his bicep. Steven said, "I just realized something. I'm stronger than the average bear!" Bobby laughed and said, "OK Yogi!" Steven said, `If I'm Yogi, then you must be Boo-Boo!"

Steven said, "How's your foot? I'm sorry I stepped on you." Bobby replied, "Oh, that's OK. You just saved me from being eaten by a bear. I think I can take being stepped on by one of those size 36 gunboats! Actually, I don't think it's broken, just bruised a little."

Steven reached down and picked up Bobby. Steven said as he cradled Bobby in his big arms, "I'll carry you back to camp." Bobby replied, "Thanks, but as bad as you smell from hugging that bear to death, I'd almost rather walk!" Steven laughed. "Do you want to have bear burgers for a snack tonight?" he said.

The next morning, Steven went down to the creek to get some water to wash up. He still smelled of dead bear! While he was gone, a Park Ranger stopped by the campsite. Bobby said to him, "We got attacked by a bear last night and had to kill him. He's over in the woods." The ranger said, "Did you shoot him?" Bobby replied, "No, my friend killed him with his bare hands!" The ranger laughed. "Yeah right!" Bobby replied, "He really did. He's really strong." The ranger said, "Let's go look at this bear your friend supposedly killed with his bare hands." So Bobby led him over to the place where the bear was. He definitely had a distorted middle where Steven had crushed him to death. The ranger said, "I'd like to meet the fellow who did this! This is probably one of the biggest bears around." Bobby replied, "He went to get some water, he's probably back at camp already. You'll be impressed when you meet him. He's the strongest man in the world." The ranger replied, "He'd have to be to kill a bear with his bare hands."

When they got back to the campsite, Steven was back. The ranger said to Bobby, `You're right, he is a big boy!" The ranger said to Steven, "I've been a ranger for 25 years, and nobody has ever killed a bear with their bare hands before that I know of." Steven replied, "Well, you've probably never seen anybody with biceps like these either," as he flexed one bicep for the ranger. "You're right there! That thing's gargantuan!"

Steven asked the Ranger if he would take a picture of Bobby and Steven next to the bear. Bobby wanted Steven to lift the bear over his head again. Steven was a little wary of lifting up a bear that had been dead for 10 hours, especially one that smelled bad when he was alive, but he did it anyway. If it hadn't been such a spectacular sight, Steven wouldn't have done it.

Steven was standing there with the bear raised over his head. He said, "I can `barely' hold this bear up!" Bobby punched Steven lightly in the stomach. Steven pretended like he was going to drop the bear on Bobby. Bobby covered his head with his hands and said, "OK Big Boy! I guess if you're that strong, we'll have to let you get away with bad puns!"

The park ranger asked Bobby to send him some of the pictures too. The other rangers would never believe that somebody killed a bear with their bare hands, unless they saw a picture! They also wouldn't believe that anybody could lift a full-grown bear over their head, either.

The park ranger decided he better take the bear carcass out of the woods. He asked Steven if he could carry it to his pick-up back at the campsite. Steven said, "Sure." The park ranger had one of those small , mini-pickups. When Steven put the bear in the bed, the springs broke and the back end of the truck sagged. Steven removed the bear, but the back end of the truck was still sagging. The park ranger lay down on the ground and checked out the springs. The ranger said, "If we had a lift, I could probably fix the springs." Steven reached down and picked up the back end of the truck, while the ranger was still under there. "Like this?" Steven asked. "Perfect. How long can you hold it up like that?" the ranger replied. Steven said, "As long as you need it up!" The ranger kept asking Steven, "You're not getting tired, are you son?" "I'm fine." Steven replied repeatedly. At one point, Steven had to scratch an itch so he held the truck with one hand and scratched. The ranger looked up with real big eyes. "Don't you want to use 2 hands?" the ranger asked. "Oh, sure." replied Steven, although he certainly didn't need 2 hands to hold up that little pick-up! Steven figured the ranger was uncomfortable working under there with him holding the truck.

The ranger drove back and came back with a bigger pick-up, which Steven graciously loaded the dead bear into for him. The Ranger offered them a ride, but Steven would have had to ride in back with the dead bear, so they decided to walk instead. They did let the ranger haul out most of their gear in the pickup.

Bobby and Steven were getting ready to head home. Steven said, "Hey, let's have some fun with the next campers!" He took off his shoes and made footprints all over the campsite. "I'll bet they'll think BigFoot was here!" Bobby said, "He was here, wasn't he? I think anybody who wears a size 36 shoe qualifies as a BigFoot!" Steven laughed and threw one his shoes at Bobby. Bobby said, "Hey watch it. You could kill somebody with one of those things! Hey! Maybe I'll have to get a T-Shirt that says, `I survived being trampled by Big Foot!'" Steven said, "Or maybe we'll get you one that says `I'm with the Giant', and I'll get one that says, `I'm with the runt.'"

Bobby and Steven broke camp and headed home. On hike out, Bobby said to Steven, "I know why you had to kill that bear. You didn't like having something around that was bigger than you." Steven replied, "Bigger but not stronger. That bear hasn't spent 8 years pumping iron." Steven flexed a bicep. Bobby replied, "8 years well spent! Otherwise I'd been a bear snack last night!" Bobby said, "What's wrong with this picture. A guy who can kill a bear with his bare hands is scared of spiders?" Steven playfully hit Bobby in the head. "Don't make me put your scrawny body in a bicep lock again! I might pump this mother all the way up!" Steven said, as he flexed his biceps.

Bobby laughed, "I'm not scared of you, Big Boy. Anybody who's scared of spiders can't be that tough!" Steven laughed and said, "I'll show you tough!" Steven lifted Bobby up and placed him against his bicep. "What's wrong with this picture" Steven said. "I see what's wrong, my bicep is twice the size of Bobby's entire body!" He lifted Bobby on to his forearm and slightly flexed his bicep, squeezing Bobby in the chest. Then he fully flexed his other arm. "Gee, what's wrong with this picture. Oh, I see. My right bicep wants to be as big as his brother on my left arm. Well, let's see." Steven began to flex his right arm a little more. "Bigger, Bigger!" he called out. Bobby called out, "Smaller, Smaller!" Bobby was just beginning to feel squished under Steven`s massive bicep. Then Steven said, "I better not squish you like a bug! I'll get body fluids all over my clothes! It`d be a mess to clean up!" Bobby said, "I can hear your Mom now-Steven, did you crush another little guy again with your gigantic biceps? I told you those stains were hard to get out!" Steven laughed and released Bobby. He grabbed Bobby by the ankles and held him upside down with one hand. Steven called out, "Here Bear, Here Bear. Here's your lunch! I won`t crush you to death today!" Bobby laughed. Steven turned him right side up and set him on the ground and they had a good laugh.

Bobby saw a log sitting by the trail. He said to Steven, "Since you didn't get to crush me, crush this instead! He picked up the log and handed it to Steven. Steven put it on his forearm and flexed his bicep. The log splintered in to pieces. "Awesome, " Bobby said. Then Bobby saw a large rock. "Hey, do this rock next." he said. Bobby went over to the rock and tried to pick it up. He struggled but couldn't budge it. It was heavier than it looks probably about 200 lbs. Steven walked over and cleared his throat. He said, "Step aside, little man. This calls for a man with real muscles!" Steven bent over and put one big hand over the rock and picked it up. He palmed it almost like a basketball. He put the rock on his forearm and flexed his bicep. The rock broke into small pieces. "You are incredible," Bobby said. "I couldn't even budge that rock and you pick it up like a basketball with one hand!" Steven grinned and flexed his bicep for Bobby. "Everybody needs guns like these!" Steven said. Bobby replied, "Or just know somebody who does!" Bobby reached up and patted Steven's bicep.

Bobby said, "Can you do that thing with a tree again?" Steven said, "You mean, pull one out of the ground? Sure. I love to show off my big muscles to an appreciative audience!" Steven went over to a fairly large tree by the side of the trail. He squatted down and grabbed the tree around the trunk. He began lifting with his legs. His legs and arms turned red as he strained to get the tree out of the ground. Soon the tree pulled up out of the ground. Steven stood there with the tree in his arms. "Where do you want it, Boss?" Steven jokingly asked Bobby. "Anyplace you want to put it, Big Boy!" Bobby replied. Steven laughed and tossed the tree away. It fell with a crash. Bobby said, "If Steven uproots a tree in the forest and there's nobody around to hear it, does it make a sound? Steven said, "Or if Steven crushes Bobby in the forest and there's nobody around to hear, does it make a sound?" Bobby said, "There'd be sound. Bobby would be screaming his head off!"

Steven and Bobby continued their trek. A little while later, Bobby asked Steven, "Did you ever think you'd like it better if you weren't quite so big?" Steven replied, "I wouldn`t want to be 5`6" and 125 lbs. like some people we know." Steven looked down at Bobby and grinned. Bobby said, "OK, OK, I`ll admit it, I`m a shrimp! But there`s not a lot I can do about it!" Steven replied, "Me neither. But I really love it! The benefits really outweigh the disadvantages, like fitting through doors, buying clothes & shoes and occasionally breaking furniture. The worst thing is people looking at you like you're a freak!

Steven continued, "I guess my favorite time was when I was 12. I didn`t know you yet. I was about 6`8 and weighed about 375. It was just at the upper end of clothes sizes you can get in stores, but I was still big enough to feel physically superior to most everyone else! Now, just walking down the street and knowing you're the strongest man in the world is a great feeling. There's nobody out there that can whip me. Every kid wants to grow up to be big and strong and I really did!" Bobby said, "You can say that again!" Then Bobby & Steven continued their trek out of the forest and back home.

A few weeks after the camping trip, Steven was at the grocery store. At the checkout line, on the cover of the National Enquirer was a picture of one of Steven's footprints with an accompanying story of how Bigfoot was sighted at the park that Steven and Bobby were at. Not only did they have footprint pictures, but also there were grainy pictures of the actual Bigfoot, but it wasn't Steven! Steven bought several copies of the magazine. He took one to school and showed it to Bobby. Bobby looked at the Bigfoot picture and then looked at Steven. He said, "No, that Bigfoot isn't as big or as hairy as the one I saw in the park!" Steven put a giant fist up to Bobby's face and said, "One of these days Bobby, one of these days, Bang-Zoom-To the moon Bobby!" With that he grabbed Bobby by the shirt and lifted him up over his head. Bobby laughed and said, "I'm halfway to the moon already!"

Mrs. Andrews was planning a trip to visit some relatives. She was going to be gone about a week. She was wary of leaving Mr. Andrews and Steven home alone together. They didn't really get along to well. She was the peacemaker in the family quite often.

Mrs. Andrews called Steven & Mr. Andrews into the kitchen for talk before she left. Steven was in the yard lifting weights. He came in from outside without a shirt on and slightly sweaty. Steven stood with his arms resting on top of the refrigerator. Since he was 7'10" tall, this was actually a very comfortable place for him to put his arms. Mr. Andrews leaned up against the stove.

Mrs. Andrews said, "I'm going to be gone for a week. I want you two to get along while I'm gone. I know you don't always see eye to eye on everything." Steven laughed as he said, "Sure we do!" He walked over to Mr. Andrews and grabbed him around the shoulders and hoisted him up about 2 feet so that he was looking Steven right in the eyes. Steven grinned in his face. Mr. Andrews scowled. Mrs. Andrews said, "Put your father down, Steven. You know he doesn't like that!" Steven laughed again and set Mr. Andrews back down. "Hey, you've got to expect that when you're living with the strongest man in the world, you know!" Steven said.

"Now you see what I have to put up with, dear?" Mr. Andrews said. "I don't get any respect around here! He's always showing off those big bulging muscles, breaking stuff and showing off how strong he is. He runs around half-naked all the time. He doesn't listen to anything I tell him. Steven replied, "If you got `em, flaunt `em!" as he gave them a double bicep pose. Mrs. Andrews said, "Very nice, dear."

"Now hush both of you. For the next week, I want you to keep this in check." Mrs. Andrews said as she touched her hand to Mr. Andrews's mouth. "And I want you to keep those bulging biceps in check, Steven." Mrs. Andrews said as she poked Steven in the arm with her finger "Ouch, that's hard!" Mrs. Andrews said. Steven laughed and flexed his biceps again. "I'll try to keep these big boys under control Mom!" Steven said.

Thing went along OK for a couple of days after Mrs. Andrews left. Steven went to school and basically avoided Mr. Andrews most of the time. Steven ate dinner at his friend Bobby's house a couple of night, but since he ate so much, he didn't want to eat over there too often and wear out his welcome. Steven was in the kitchen eating a bowl of Wheaties for a snack. Keep in mind that for Steven, a bowl of Wheaties was 1 whole box. Mrs. Andrews bought them by the case!

Mr. Andrews came into the kitchen to get himself another beer. He'd had several already. They had just finished dinner about an hour ago and he'd had a couple of beers with dinner. Mr. Andrews had ordered pizza to be delivered. He ordered 3 large pizzas. He ate a 3 slices and Steven ate the rest. "Are you eating again?" Mr. Steven yelled. "We just got done with dinner an hour ago!" Steven replied, "Well, I'm still hungry! I asked you to order 5 or 6 pizzas, and you only ordered 3!" Mr. Andrews yelled back, "Are you trying to eat me out of house & home! Do you know how much a whole box of Wheaties costs or a large pizza?" "Well, I'm a growing boy you know!" Steven replied. "No you're not!" Mr. Andrews yelled back. "You haven't grown at all for months. You're probably done growing, thank GOD!" Steven replied, "Gee, you don't think I'll hit 8 foot?" as he stood up and put his hands on the ceiling. "At least I can still pack on a few more pounds! Wouldn't you like to have an 800lb son, Pops? Or maybe we should try for an even 1,000lbs. That'd be half a ton!!" Mr. Andrews said, "No. I don't want a son who's a freakier than he already is!" Steven stood over him and glared down at him, "Just watch who you're calling a freak, twerp!"

Mr. Andrews started to move to the refrigerator. Steven said, "Haven't you had enough beer tonight?" "No I haven't, and don't you dare try to tell me what I can and can't do! I'm the parent here! This is my house!" Mr. Andrews replied. Steven moved over in front of the refrigerator door. "You're the parent, but I'm the strongest man in the world and I think you've had enough. Why don't you go upstairs and sleep it off?" Steven said. Mr. Andrews yelled, "Get the hell out of my way you musclebound freak!" Mr. Andrews then came over and tried to push Steven out of the way. Of course it was like a monkey trying to push a boulder! Steven just stood there and laughed. "Boy you must have a lot of beer in you to even begin to think you can take me!" Mr. Andrews then started punching Steven in the stomach. Mr. Andrews was so weak and Steven so muscled, he hardly felt a thing. Steven just laughed. Then Mr. Andrews hauled off and hit Steven in the crotch. Steven was so well endowed, it felt similar to somebody punching him on the arm. Mr. Andrews expected him to double over, but Steven just stood there and laughed at him. "Hey-no hitting below the belt! You're going to have to hit a lot harder than that little man! It's a good thing Mom told me to be good you know! Otherwise I'd get really pissed! You wouldn't like me when I'm pissed!" He grabbed Mr. Andrews and hoisted him over his shoulder. He carried him up to the bedroom and tossed him into the bed. "You need a time-out! Stay there and sleep it off!" •

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