So what DID people use before tapes? Some kind of disc thingy right? I seem to remember shiny round things when I was really little. What were they called.?

[Editor's note: Mr. Hardesty's parents were early adopters of Moebius Strip Technology, commonly referred to as tapes. We think the "disc thingy" Mr. Hardesty refers to is the RVD, which was discontinued in 2007, when Mr. Hardesty was four or five years old.]

Anyway, back to Kenzie.

He was a chottie alright.

He stood out at Rainbow Utah and you guys DO know how hard that is to do in a schoolful of gay guys, right? And, yeah, I know it's been speculated that Gets [Gay Hypertrophy Syndrome. - eds.] came out of the gay community's late 90s emphasis on conformity. Hard to imagine having to work at it, to tell you the truth.

But Kenzie was different.

Taller. Bigger. Stronger.

And that cock.

Well, OK, I'm sorry. I know you straight guys don't like to talk about dick. But think of it, fellas, I mean, what would you DO if you had one like mine, let alone Kenzie's? The world population explosion would be OVER 'cuz there ain't NO woman gonna take one of these, no matter what she might SAY about wanting it.

The other thing about Kenzie was that even at 16 he was FURRY, and that's definitely out of the ordinary for us. In fact, I don't want to be spilling any secrets or anything, but it's a major turn on for almost all of us, given that nine out of 10 of us are smooth as a baby's bottom.

In fact.

OK, OK, settle down. BELIEVE me, the rumors of gay guys hitting on furry straight guys are GREATLY exaggerated. And we don't HIT, anyway. I mean, get real, you wouldn't live so the idea that we HIT anyone (except each other) is really kinda silly, ya know?

[Editor's note: Mr. Hardesty, although not overly familiar with the historical record, has this one right. Gay-on-straight assaults never exceeded more than 20000 in a single year and the peak occurred well before Mr. Hardesty entered high school.]

But, yeah, it's true, it's a turn on, for just about all of us, and Kenzie, well, jeez, I've seen porn from back in the day, and he's as hairy as any Colt model ever thought about being, and that was so even back at Rainbow. I mean, shit, he was covered in it (well, not his back, nothing gross like that, hey, no offense, ya know?), thick and full and black as night. It kinda swirled around his.

Uh, ya know, I think I need to take a break for a minute?

OK, that's better.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah, Kenzie's fur.

Well, let's just put it this way.

The first time I saw him was in the locker room, right after he'd showered and he was drying off and.

Hmm.

Are you guys really ready for this?

Do you really want me to be this explicit?

OK, here goes.

Well, he'd just stepped out of the shower and he was drying off. I thought my jaw would hit the floor. He was only about two inches taller than I was, so about 6'6, but 200 lbs. heavier, and even for one of us the guy was BUILT. I mean, NO, body fat. And the fur, shit, it was, like, so cool, beads of water clinging to it like pearls or something.

Plus there was his dick.

I mean, Christ-a-mighty, he wasn't even hard and it was flopping against his quads like a fire hose.

[Editor's note: The 2020 GLF census determined conclusively that in the US the average gay male penis is 12 inches flaccid, generally 14-15 inches erect. Despite his attempts to establish his averageness, Mr. Hardesty is quite a bit above average in this department.]

"You must be Hardesty," he said, and I thought I was gonna cream.

That voice.

I remember my dad taking me to see the 30th anniversary release of Star Wars and there was a voice in THAT movee, the bad guy's voice, that just sent a shiver down my spine, even then. What was his name? John Earl James or something? That was Kenzie's voice, just that deep, just that rumbly. More like a straight guy's voice, only deeper, much deeper.

And, I mean, well, shit, what do you think?

A voice like that DOES something to us, and.

Would you STOP twitching? Yeah, you Comiskey. I know you've got the fur and the deep voice but, criminy, I'm NOT going to rape you, OK? Don't get TOO hung up on all the nonsense you've heard about gay fetishizing, OK? Fur sticking out of your neck collar in the BACK does NOT do it for me. And, like I said, there's no such thing as too BIG. I like guys BIGGER than I am, OK? My ARM is bigger than your waist, comprende?

[Mr. Comiskey was subsequently transferred to the LPGA Oral History Project. For additional information, consult Grievance Hearing Record 5789. - eds.]

And he could see it.

He walked over to me. Stood right in front of me. And, well, shit. I mean, for fuck's sake, his CHEST was wider than my shoulders. And you know how big shoulders are on a 300 lb. musclekid? About any two of you together. And that was his chest. And it was furry. Totally fucking furry.

"Shit, man," he said. "I haven't heard the first word from you and I already own your ass."

[Editor's note: Prof. Verhaagen notes this dialogue bears a marked resemblance to gay erotica e-published at the turn of the century. Additional verification is needed to determine whether Mr. Hardesty is remembering actual dialogue or was just cribbing, so to speak, from the accepted gay canon.]

I kinda stammered something.

"It's true, isn't it?"

"I could have you right here, couldn't it?"

And then he did.

What?

Oh, that, huh?

Well, yeah, you straight guys are hung up about it.

Of COURSE, I consented.

I didn't have to say anything.

I was begging him with my eyes.

Time to turn the tape again?

Damn. •