“Are you OK?” Justin said softly.

“I’m not sure. I feel like an asshole.” Zack said, just as softly.

“You mind if I come over and sit down?”

“I was hoping you would.”

Justin walked over and sat next to Zack on the bed. He was about a foot away from Zack and he sat so that he saw the same view that Zack saw. “The city is beautiful at night, isn’t it.”

“I’ve never seen anything like it. I’ve been sitting here watching, wondering if there is anyone out there as messed up as I am.”

“I don’t think you’re messed up, Zack. The way you handle people, the way you handle yourself. I’ve never met anyone like you.”

“Yeah, I’m the master of getting people to do what I want – all except for my parents. I never do enough in their eyes. My Dad has a small company; I’m his only kid. He wants to give it all to me so I can make it bigger and give it to my kids. I almost had myself convinced I could do it too.”

“Almost?”

“You don’t want to hear the rest.”

“Yes I do.”

“Justin… I was almost convinced until I met you. Since the first time you invited me over to work out with you, all I’ve wanted is to know what it felt like for you to hold me like you did a few minutes ago. Every time I close my eyes to go to bed, I picture you.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to hear that?”

“Because Justin. Sometimes I hate you for it. Damn it, why are you bringing this out of me? You’re set, bro! Mike and Eric have cleared the path. You’re parents have had to deal with it, it’s easy for you. It just isn’t that way for me.”

Justin laughed a little and then looked at Zack. He could see a tear on Zack’s cheek and the smile had disappeared from his face. “I’ll tell you a secret, but only one condition.”

“What’s the condition?” Zack asked, fighting back more tears.

“The condition is that you slide over here and let me put my arm around you while I tell you.”

Zack turned and looked at Justin. The dim light from the Vegas lights made Justin look a little more mature. His soft smile told Zack that he was in good hands. He moved his body over toward Justin and leaned his head back against Justin’s chest. Justin put his arm around Zack’s chest.

“Feels good, huh?” Justin asked in a whisper that Zack could barely hear.

“That wasn’t the secret was it?”

Justin shook his head, and even though Zack couldn’t see what Justin had just done, he knew all the same. After a second, Justin went on. “The secret is that my parents don’t know anything about me being gay, and it would crush them to know the truth. When they found out about Mike, they practically disowned him. He almost lives with Eric now. Eric’s parents are really cool. I hope you get to meet them someday. Anyway, my Mom is super into religion. She keeps saying ‘thank God for you, Justin.’ So if you think you’ve got it bad, I’ve got it at least as bad.”

The two of them sat like that silently for a few minutes. Zack could barely believe what he’d just heard. He thought about what an ass he’d been. How could he have assumed Justin was out to his parents? At that moment, he realized how much he and Justin were becoming bound together. He held himself still for a few minutes. He could hear Justin’s heart beating.

Zack had just fallen in love.

“Justin, bro. I had no idea. I just figured that since you seemed so comfortable with Mike and Eric that you were out to your parents. I’m so sorry!”

“Sorry? Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong. I just want you to know that we’re in the same place. And I… I want you to know…” Justin’s voice trailed off, the words just wouldn’t quite come. Zack slid his head down into Justin’s lap. He looked up into Justin’s soft green eyes.

“You want me to know what? Tell me, please!”

Justin looked down at Zack, “I want you to know that I feel like I’m falling in love with you.” The words were barely audible. Zack laid there in Justin’s lap. Justin’s powerful frame suddenly seemed so vulnerable to Zack. He realized Justin was just as much in love with him as he was with Justin.

“Well guess what?” Zack replied, just as softly.

“What?”

“I think I’m falling in love with you too!” Zack paused for a second. He wasn’t sure if he should say the next part, but he couldn’t resist. “But I won’t know until you kiss me.”

Justin leaned forward and Zack put his arms around Justin’s neck. They pulled themselves together until their lips met. The kiss was tentative at first, and then passion unleashed itself. They kissed for what seemed a blissful eternity. It was incredible! Neither of them had ever felt anything like it. It was like some invisible wall that existed between them had been suddenly torn down. They could see and feel each other for whom they really were. Zack held tight to Justin’s neck as Justin ran his hands through Zack’s hair. It felt so good.

Finally they broke their kiss. Justin looked at Zack, his green eye twinkled in the Vegas glimmer. “Did that feel as good for you as it did for me?” he smiled.

“Better!” Zack grinned back.

“So what do you want to do now?” Justin asked softly.

“How about we get ready for bed. I want you to hold me all night long!”

“OK!” Justin elated, “you get the bathroom first!”

With that, Zack got up and walked backwards toward the bathroom. He couldn’t take his eyes off Justin. In an instant, all his fears had been realized, but they seemed like nothing compared to his dreams coming true. After Zack had closed the bathroom door, Justin got up and walked into the main room. Mike and I were sitting there with the lights off watching the same view. I was lying against Mike and his amazing arm was wrapped loosely around my neck. I was in my happiest of places.

“Mikey! Thank you so much for kicking me in the butt!” Justin whispered. “He’s in love with me!”

We both looked at him and we could see in his face it had to be true. “Congrats Justin.” I whispered back to him, “you two will be really good for each other.” Mike grinned and nodded in agreement.

“I know!” Justin giggled. “He wants me to hold him all night while we sleep! I can’t believe it!”

“You better get back in there, dufus!” Mike kidded. “He might get a better offer before you get back, he’s pretty hot!”

Justin ran back into the room and closed the door. Just as he sat down on the bed, Zack came out of the bathroom drying his hair with one of the hotel’s big white fluffy towels. Zack was naked. This was the first time Justin had ever seen Zack totally naked. Justin couldn’t help himself. He grinned broadly at the sight of his beautiful new boyfriend. “Shower’s all yours… I was thinking I’d sleep like this tonight. OK with you?” Justin nodded eagerly and headed off to the bathroom.

Zack pulled back the blankets and got into bed. He stared out the window again and laughed at how the view had suddenly changed. He realized he was happier than he’d ever been. A few minutes later, the bathroom door opened and Justin’s silhouette stood in the doorway. Zack’s breath was taken for a moment. How beautiful was Justin? More so than he’d ever remembered.

“You ready?” Justin asked.

“Get your muscle-bound ass over here! You promised to hold me!” Zack laughed.

Justin slid into bed next to Zack. The two of them were facing toward the view again. “Sooooo….” Zack whispered, “you tired?”

“Nope!” Justin said, just a little too quickly.

“Good! Me neither.” Zack laughed at Justin’s eagerness as he snuggled himself against Justin. “Justin, I think I need a nickname for you. What is it that Mike and Eric call you?”

“They call me J-boy.” Justin smiled.

“Hmmmm.” Zack thought out loud. “Doesn’t really work, does it? You mind if I call you J-Man instead?”

You couldn’t have ripped the smile off Justin’s face with a jackhammer. “Works for me!” he paused to think for a moment, “I hope you don’t mind, but I don’t want to think up a nickname for you. I love your name, it fits you perfectly.”

Zack rolled over so he could look into Justin’s eyes. “It’s not very original J-man, but I like where it comes from!” Zack poked Justin’s right pec.

“From my pec?” Justin half frowned and half smiled.

“From your heart, you big ape.” The two of them kissed, and kissed, AND KISSED. And when the stopped, they talked about everything. From favorite colors to favorite movies to biggest fears and dumbest mistakes, they talked about it all. If they started out the night infatuated, they ended it in love. Finally in the small hours of the morning, they fell asleep. Justin’s arms were wrapped around Zack, and Zack’s hands were pulling Justin’s arms in tight. They both silently grinned as they slept.

They were no longer alone. It was Zack and Justin against the world, and there was no doubt in their minds, the world would lose. •