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That summer, I began
|"I began lifting at the age of 15, it was the summer after my freshman year of high school. I realized that women on the beach paid much more attenion to the guys who worked out...and so, began my lifelong quest for muscle and the "perfect body" At first it began as a simple set of processes, I'd bench and curl until Ii couldn't move my arms...I had no real understanding of what bodybuilding truely was...after nearly 6 months of performing only two exercises I noticed I gotten bigger, but wasn't making any suginificant leaps towards my goals. That's when I picked up my first muscle magazine.
At this point my life changed...I discoverd that "supplements" were the key to my bodybuilding dreams. I saw tons of photos with these insanely well built men promoting various weight-gainers and various other products. I Immeaditly went to GNC and bought tons of this "super powder" around the same time I realized that I had been neglecting several body parts, I'd only actually been working my arms and chest...I now switched to a new routine which includeded some 30 odd exercises per-day...over the next six monhs I made progress but, I was still dissatisfied.
I continued my research and discovered several new supplements...I now understood that weight gainers weren't the key...it was the more expensive and exotic supplements...this is where my problem began....for the next 6 months I began abusing the hell outta every supplement I could find...I was taking some 30 grrams of creatine a day, using DHEA at 500mg per day, taking nearly 120mg of vanadyl sulfate, and usingripped fuel like candy. I had also, switched to a new routine which involved doing 1-2 body parts per-week...for the next year I made unbelievable gains...I had put on around 40 lbs between my freshman and junior year and most of it was muscle weight...My nickname was "steroid boy" and I was riding a high horse...
However, during that year I began to notice changes in myself...I was constantly pissed off all the time and people were begining to ignore me...this only furhter motivated me to try "bigger things" to get attention. That's when I realized it was time for the roids. I found my source by reading a muscle magazine that ran an article about mail order drugs and made a referance to an ad in another magazine...I just happend to have that mag, and I was set...I responded to the ad, and sure enough within a week I had a roid price list....The seller required cash only, so I got one of my few remaing buddies to go 50/50 with me...we ordered 6 1.5cc amps of parabolan, 1 sustanon redi-ject, and 20tabs of clenbuterol...(just to see if the thing was legit) around two weeks later my order hadn't shown up...and I was getting very worried, so I wrote the dealer a letter basically calling him an asshole...sure enough the next day I got my package in the mail.
Now I felt like a total ass, now the only source I had was going to pe pissed off at me...soon after I recived a letter back from the dealer asking for an apology, or else I wouldn't recieve any more goods...I complied and sent him a letter along with 500dollars cash to order 6 vials of deca-durabolin. I decided to tell my buddy who went in on the order with me that we had been scammed, and had lost our money...he was upset, but not overly pissed off...it'd be another 2 months before I started my crime.
That summer, I began to use the drugs...I started by taking one amp of parabolan every week for six weeks I noticed some gains imediately, after six weeks I had put on ten pounds, I concluded my cycle by doing 400mg of deca per week for another 6 weeks...I put on nearly 7 more pounds for a running total of 17lbs...I felt truely amazing...for 12 weeks and the week after my cycle ceased...then the shit hit the fan...for some reason I went into a massive depression my girlfriend left me, and I had long ago lost my only remaining friend...I'd come home from the gym and scream and beat things until my hand would bleed...to top it off much of my inital gains began to fade my life was hell...
I found no escape...so I tried to end it...I took 100tabs of ephedrine in hopes of killiing myself, but, my parents got to me in time and I remain walking among the living...I've been clean for two years but, there hasn't been a day that's went by that I haven't thought about doing another cycle...It was a high for me...it made me feel powerful...and if given the chance again I'm sure i'd jump on it...if you're willing to do one cycle you'd do it agian...my advice don't do the first cycle...you'll never feel right about doing it natural agian..."
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