At the end of 1996 I finally tipped the scales above 200 pounds! That was a mighty achievement for me as I was a tall skinny guy. At that time I noticed that FLEX magazine was starting to really hammer on supplements and how they could help you achieve your bodybuilding goals. I tried a lot of different supplements, but they never produced the kind of results I wanted...I wanted to look like the guys in the mags you know...like 250 pounds at 7% bodyfat. I had a really hard time gaining weight. My inability to gain mass (I was stuck at 200 pounds) frustrated me endlessly!

In 1997 I realised that my problem was not a psychological barrier, but more a lack of proper nutrition. I was not eating enough calories. Since my strength increases were substantially more than my increases in lean body mass, I decided to head more in a powerlifting direction. Later in 1997 I met a reacreational bodybuilder at the new gym I was training at. When I saw him the first time I couldn't take my eyes off him! He was incredibly big! He weighed 240 pounds at 5'8''. I was overjoyed one day when he came over and started talking to me, because I was a bit shy at that time. After being friends with him for a while, I realised that he was on steroids. Later he also admitted to me that he was using them. What fascinated me most was the fact that he was so big and strong. He was probably the strongest guy in our gym.

Near the end of 1998 I got VERY interested in anabolic/androgenic steroids and I started doing my own research on the internet. I did countless searches for homepages about steroids as the subject was highly interesting. I learned about dosages, results, side effects, fakes and all kinds of stories of users, former users and doctors. After a couple of months I decided to do my first cycle. I purchased 100 Dianabol tabs (the pink 5 sided type) from my good friend at the gym. I was amazed at how cheap it cost me...only R200 (being in South Africa, R200 equates to about 37 dollars!). I started taking them about 2 weeks into January 1999. For the first week my dosage was 2 tabs a day (no tabs on weekends). I was very sceptical, but all my doubts vanished when after 3 days my weight went from 201 pounds to 205 pounds. The second week I increased my dosage to 4 tabs a day (I always took the tabs with a meal) and my weight went to 213 pounds. I was absolutely delighted! After 2 weeks I made more gains in mass than I had made since I started doing bodybuilding! After 4 weeks my dosage was 6 tabs a day and I weighed 215 pounds. My goal was 220 pounds and I reached that during the 5th week. I couldn't stop smiling. The psychological high was unbelieveable!! I always felt on top of the world and very positive. People were constantly telling me how big I looked and that was what I wanted to hear. I was constantly looking at myself in windows and mirrors and I was also noticing that other people were looking at me a lot more. My strength gains initially wasn't what I expected, but those also started shooting into the heigths after about 5 weeks.

My workouts started getting very intense, aggressive and long. I was suddenly one of the strongest guys in the gym and lotsa people admired me for it. I could easily handle the heaviest dumbells in the gym (110 pounds) for 12 reps on flat dumbell presses and I could do shoulder presses with 100 pound dumbells for 6 reps. My incline bench press maximum went from 200 pounds to 242 pounds. My squat and deadlift both went up by about 50 pounds. I was absolutely overjoyed at my newfound strength and good bodily looks. I wanted more and more.

After the 7th week I started tapering off but let me tell you, I was terrified to do this because I feared I would lose all my muscle and strength. After 9 weeks I was off the tabs completely and during the first week that I was off, I lost 7 pounds. I didn't feel too bad about that, what really bugged me was how fast my strength waned. After one week of being "clean", I decided to purchase my second cycle from my friend at the gym. I got 20 ampules Testosterone Cypionate (also known as Depotrone), 5 ampules of Deca (at that time I didn't know this was too small an amount) and 5 ampules Sustanon 250. 2 weeks after my Dianabol stint, I gave myself my first shot of Cypionate in the butt. I took about 15 minutes to summon up the courage because I was scared shitless by the needle (a big 21 gauge I think). The shot didn't hurt a lot, but it felt oddly exhilerating. Only later on, when I took the 3rd shot of cypionate, I hurt myself a bit... it also bled a bit, but that was because I was trembling so much. I got very handy with needles in the following weeks...

I used all the deca in the first week and the Sustanon was introduced to my butt during the second week. The latter was taken every 2 weeks as I read that Sustanon had a rather long half-life. I took 1 shot Cypionate in the first week, 2 in the second week and 3 in the 3rd week. Weeks 3 to 7 I usually took 3 shots Cypionate per week...on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I didn't really care about the Deca, because I believed it was a weak drug so I used it all up very quickly.

This is part 2 of my experiences: First I shall give a short description of the various 'roids that I used in the 5 happiest months of my life. Like I said before, I used Dianabol in my first cycle and Sustanon 250, Cypionate and a bit of Deca in my second cycle. The Dianabol tasted slightly bitter and melted very quickly in my mouth. I already gave a visual description of the tabs. Sustanon: 1ml ampules containing a viscous yellow fluid. I had to use a little saw that came with the box to open the ampule. It took a little while to open up the ampules. You saw at the neck of the ampule for a while and then check every now and then if it will break at the neck. Each ampule contained 250mg of a blend of testosterones. The white lettering said "Nile Co." Sustanon 250."

Deca: very easy to open. Ampules was 1ml, 50mg/ml. White paper with black lettering. Said "Deca durabolin. Nandrolone Decanoate." Colorless fluid inside.

Cypionate: Also easy to break open. Brown stained ampules with white paper saying: "Depotrone. 200mg/2ml." Each ampule contained 2ml of yellowish fluid with a strange oily smell.

At the peak of my 2nd cycle I was taking 600mg cypionate and 250mg Sustanon per week. This peak lasted for 3 weeks. The total for 1 week was thus 850mg. After 2 weeks into my second cycle my weight jumped back to 220 pounds and 4 weeks into my cycle I weighed 231 pounds. I was massive! People everywhere complemented me on my size. In the gym I killed the weights and got even more agressive. These gains were fantastic and I never wanted them to stop.

Before juice training was like this: gain 5 pounds on max lift. Next workout: able to do one more rep than last workout. Next workout: drop 2 or 3 reps on max lift. Sound familiar? With roids it went like this: Every workout I increased in maximum lift's weight AND reps!! I thought I was in heaven. Other than these gains I also had a lot of confidence. But this is pretty much where the positive aspects of my second cycle stopped.

I didn't really encounter any side effects that I knew of during my first cycle, maybe a bit puffiness in the cheeks... During my second cycle, my face got very, very bloated. With the Sustanon, the bloating got even worse. My mother got very suspicious but I just played dumb. That shit about one's joints feeling better didn't apply to me. One good thing about the sustanon...it starts working within a day. I actually took a shot of sustanon on a Sunday evening and the next morning I trained shoulders. I gained 6 reps on my military press with the weight that I trained with the previous delt workout. I did 12 reps with 210 pounds behind the neck! Other side effects during my second cycle: I had trouble getting to sleep and I had lotsa mood swings. The latter also made my mom very suspicious. My testicles shrank a little, but I couldn't care less. On both the cycles I was horny most of the time (is this a side effect?) and as my 2nd cycle progressed, I had trouble concentrating. This of course influenced my studies. (I am a biochemistry student).

The side effects that bothered me most was the slight gyno in my left nipple and the outbreak of zits on my back shortly after I started the Sustanon. These zits were really BIG buggers. I was actually afraid to take of my shirt because of them. They got really bad when I started tapering of my cycle. My 2nd cycle lasted 8 or 9 weeks and I only tapered off during the last 2 weeks. The shit hit the fan after I finished my 2nd cycle: I went into severe depression as I lost a lot of weight very quickly. My strength...ditto. I was pissed off all the time and I only wore big baggy tops so people wouldn't see how small I was getting. Most of the time I had no appetite and I didn't even want to go to the gym. I wasn't the big guy any more. People didn't look at me any more with awe and respect. I was totally disgusted with myself. After about a month of self pity I started getting a grip on reality again and I started out with new hope as a "natural". How I hate that word...

In retrospect I can say the following: After using steroids from January to May, I had to face being small again. It was hard to detox, but I had to do it. The 2 cycles that I did took my weight from 200 to 230 pounds in about 5 months and I lost all of that in about (AND I DO MEAN ALL OF THE MASS) 4 months. I remained I little bit stronger than before. Don't fool yourself, you will most probably lose a lot if not all the gains you got whilst on roids. It is unnatural for one's body to carry that much weight. Did you see how Dorian looks nowadays? He competed at about 270 pounds and now he weighs only 215 pounds.

Before you decide to use steroids, first consider the pro's and the cons. I do not believe that health risks are to be made such a fuss off (if you use 10,000mg of juice per week, that is another story), but there sure as hell will be positive and negative factors. For instance, my cycles were quite cheap so I didn't mind paying up and I also knew that they were not fake because my "good" friend at the gym said so (he also used the same stuff + some more... alot more). The cypionate only cost R15 (about 2.5 dollars) per ampule. The deca was R50 (about 8.3 dollars) per ampule and the sustanon was R55 (about 9 dollars) per ampule. So you can see I had lots of good reasons to go for it. I wasn't concerned about health issues and the cops couldn't care less about roids here in South Africa.

So beware: after you do your firts cycle, you will probably be tempted to do a second bigger cycle and so forth. I suppose it is not stupid to state that one can get addicted to this magical supplement called "steroids". At the end of the day it boils down to this: It's your choice....

Well, this was my account of steroids and me. Hope it was a learning experience and interesting.

By, B." •