“I guess I knew my parents were cool with being gay. They have a lot of gay friends, but they’ve both talked about grandchildren, so I knew they didn’t want me to be gay.” I stopped and thought about it all as I looked blankly at the ceiling. “I guess they are a lot more clued in that I thought they were.” I turned my head to look at Mike. He was deep in thought and probably hadn’t heard anything I said. I looked back at the ceiling. “So here’s my plan, if they hassle us any more about being gay, I say we kill them and then go to Rio and live off my trust fund.” I paused, turned my head again and waited for a reaction.

Some of the words slowly sank into Mike’s head. He looked over at me; “what about Rio?”

“Never mind. What are you thinking about so hard?” I figured he must have been thinking about his own parents’ reaction, but I didn’t want to push the issue.

“Ah, I’m just thinking about my parents. My Dad and I are tight, but my Mom can be weird about stuff like this.” There was a worried tone in his voice. I knew he’d be dwelling on this until he talked to them.

“We better get ready. I want to eat before we go to school. You staying here, or heading back home?” I figured I’d give him the option. I got the feeling he didn’t even want to see his parents until he had enough time to deal with the whole situation and talk it out completely.

“You mind if I just eat here? I’m not ready to talk to them yet.” He turned toward me looking worried and lost. We hugged each other and kissed briefly. It was just a reminder that I was here for him.

I got up and headed for the shower. Mike called his Mom to tell her that we were running late, so he’d grab breakfast here. After we got cleaned up, we headed down to the kitchen, where we found my Mom making pancakes.

“Hi you two. Got time for pancakes?” She smiled broadly, mostly at Mike. We nodded that we did. I went over to the fridge to get stuff for protein shakes. Mike sat at the counter and watched me. I glanced at my Mom; she was studying Mike, then she looked back down at what she was doing. “Your Father says he had a big talk with you two.” She looked up at Mike again; he nodded without looking at her. “Are you two OK?”

Mike didn’t say anything. I looked up at her; our eyes met in that way that mothers’ and sons’ do. She instantly knew that I was fine, but that I was worried about Mike. I didn’t need to say it, but I did anyway. “Mike’s worried about talking to his folks.”

She started filling a plate with pancakes for Mike. “Are you going to talk to them tonight, Mike?”

“I think so.” She handed him the plate.

“Well” she continued, with a measure to her words that indicated she was serious, “I for one am glad you two found each other. You seem perfect together.” I brought the protein shakes over, sat down next to Mike and slid his over to him. I turned back to face my Mom.

Mike smiled a forced smile, “Thanks Mom, I like you too.” He had a way with parents. He’d never called her “Mom” before. It caught her off guard, but she loved it.

She leaned over the counter and grabbed him by the shoulder. “How could anyone be angry with you, Mike?” She pulled him forward and kissed him on the forehead. Mike blushed a bright red and grinned the first real smile of the morning. My mother looked back at the cook top and loaded up my plate. We joked and talked about nothing in particular while we ate or breakfast. Mike and my Mom always had a great relationship. I’m sure she knew long before my Dad that I loved Mike. She definitely approved of my choice.

Mike ate a ton of food, even more than I did now that I was on Justin’s magic growth diet. He was getting along so well with my Mom, I figured it was just that. The two of us headed to school just in time to get to class by the second bell. I could barely concentrate all day, so I knew Mike must have been really suffering. He and I only had two classes together, and I could tell he was lost in thought through them both. We met as usual to bike home from school. We rode just far enough to be away from school, and then we stopped to talk a while.

We were at a park, so we found a bench away from everyone and sat down. For the first minute, we just stared out into space. We both had so much on our minds, but neither of us had any idea where to start. Finally Mike broke the ice. “Eric, why is it that when everything seems perfect, something always happens to fuck it up?” He paused for a second. “It’s like before I moved here, I loved my life, then my parents ripped it out from under me. I thought it would be hell, I was so lucky I met you, bro.” He paused again. “Now this. I mean you and I are so cool together. You did that show and did an amazing job… I’m starting to grow again… Justin seems to be interested in this Simms kid… why the fuck do I have to go through this?”

There were a few things that he said that I would have liked to have explored further, but now wasn’t the time. This was the time when I was supposed to be supportive in every way possible. “Dude, you don’t know what your parents’ reaction will be; look at mine. They were so cool. Fuck I think my Mom likes you more than she likes me.” I laughed, but Mike couldn’t.

I don’t know Eric. It’s not really my Dad, he and I connect so well, I think he understands me. Honestly bro, I’m worried about my Mom. She’s so religious – it’s weird bro. I mean, she lets Justin, my Dad and me do what we want about it, but she reads her bible every night. I just don’t know.

He was close to tears again, and I didn’t have any words for him. I was afraid of his Mom too. She’d occasionally say something that was so bizarre to me. Every time she uttered a phrase that started “Well the Bible says…” my eyes glazed over and I stopped listening. The way I saw it, I believed the principles of the Bible, but not the details. After all, it says it’s OK to own slaves, and I didn’t believe that. But I did believe the “do unto others” part. After getting picked on some in school, I believed “do unto others” with all my heart.

We got back on our bikes and rode home silently. We stopped in the road between our houses. There was no point in asking if he wanted to work out today. He didn’t, neither did I for that matter. There was just too much going on with us. We needed a day off. “Good luck, bro.” I said soberly. We bumped fists, “I’m with you the whole way. Call and tell me how it goes.”

(Apologies to the English majors out there, but I’m about to switch from first person to third person narrative. Gotta do it for this…)

Mike walked up the driveway slowly. His bike seemed unusually heavy, as he needed to seemingly summon energy to take each step. He knew this conversation wasn’t going to go well. He dropped his bike in the garage, entered the house and plodded up the stairs to his room. Mike plopped himself down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. The weight of the world pressed against him forcing him motionless in his bed. He could see the outcome already. Not only would his parents be upset about him being gay, and worse, shacking up with the kid of those – those liberals across the street; they’d blame him for Justin too. Justin had always been the favorite – good at everything he’d ever tried. Now Mike would be blamed for Justin’s sexuality.

This was all bad enough, but to make matters worse, Mike let his mind wander where it never should have gone. ‘What if I am responsible for Justin being gay? What have I done to my brother?’ All of his self-confidence, all of his inner strength – it was gone. Gone in that single thought.

He heard a door slam. Mike looked up at the clock; it was 6:00 p.m. He’d been lying there motionless for two hours and now his Dad was home. Twenty minutes later, he heard his mother call him for dinner. Unlike Eric’s family, Mike’s almost always ate together. He stopped in the bathroom to look at himself. Did it look like he’d been crying? He didn’t think so. Down he went.

The three men sat down as usual. His mother brought out the ton of food required to feed her two boys and her husband. She sat opposite Mike and Justin’s father. “Let us pray” she said, as she did every night. Everyone joined hands and began, “Come Lord Jesus, be our guest…”

Mike almost choked on the words. He knew they’d come back to haunt him – if not hang him. He picked at his food all through dinner. Finally, when everyone was done, his Dad decided to find out what was going on with his oldest boy. “Mike, what’s the matter with you? You look like someone just killed your puppy.” Mike’s Dad had a way with words.

“Ummm” Mike started, staring down at his plate, “I guess I need to talk to you and Mom for a minute after dinner.” Justin had no idea what was going on. He just looked at his older brother and his heart ached. Justin still idolized Mike. Mike was always happy, always confident, always assuring, always in control. Now, for some reason, he wasn’t. Justin didn’t know what it was, but had to be awful. ‘Maybe’ he thought, ‘Mike’s failing a class.’ I that was it, Justin would hate to be in Mike’s shoes. In their family, A’s were great, B’s were acceptable – everything else was failure.

Mike’s father looked at his son; “alright son; your Mother and I will be right with you in ten minutes. We’ll clear the table and see you in the den.”

Mike nodded, grabbed a pile of dishes, dropped them off in the kitchen and then went into his father’s den. He sat in the side chair and hid his face in his hands. How on earth would he do this? He didn’t have long to wait. His parents came into the room and sat on the sofa facing him. “OK son, what’s on your mind?” His Father asked.

Mike looked up. His cheeks were tear stained. “Dad, um… Mom… I have something to tell you…” he paused, but not long enough for anyone to say anything, “I’m.. I’m I’m gay.” His voice cracked as he said it and he burst into tears. He hid his face in his hands again. After a moment, he regained his composure and looked at his parents through his fingers. His Father was the first to speak.

“We know Mike, we know.” The expression on his Father’s face told Mike that his Father was just as much pain as he was, not because Mike was gay, but because of what was going to come next.

“Mike” his Mother started, “we love you more than anything we can imagine, but homosexuality is a sin. And while we all have sin, I will not have my son proclaiming it as a part of his fundamental self. I understand your decision, but I don’t agree with it. We will NOT speak of it anymore.” With that she got up and walked out of the room. When she got to the door, she turned to Mike’s father and motioned for him to come along.

“In a minute, dear. I need to talk to Mike alone.” She nodded shortly and walked away. Mike’s father watched his wife leave and then turned his attention to his oldest son. “Mike, we’ve known for a little while. I love you boy, you know that… but your mother doesn’t understand this. Do yourself a favor, say as little as possible about this to your mother. She’ll put up with it; she just can’t face it. OK, son?”

Mike looked at his father with tears streaming down his face. ‘So this is it?’ he thought. ‘You don’t want to know about Eric. You don’t want to know how happy I am. You just want me to shut up and go away. How the fuck could you do this to me, Dad? How!?!’ Mike’s eyes met his father’s. Mike saw weakness where there should have been strength. Mike said nothing. He stood up, wiped his face, and left the room.

When Mike got to his room, he shut the door, but left the light off. He fell on the floor crying. He was so used to being everyone’s strength. Now, when he needed strength from his parents, it was gone. He cried and cried. Finally, he had no tears left. He looked up at the ceiling and thought about everything.

Quietly, he got up and turned the lights on. He locked the door to the room and the door to the bathroom he shared with Justin. He pulled out the second drawer of his dresser and turned it around. He untaped the box at the back of the drawer. He set the box down on his desk and looked at it.

After a second, he reached into the box. He took out a syringe and a 10 ml vial. He inserted the syringe and drew out 1 ml. He looked at it briefly, then recapped the syringe and grabbed an alcohol pad. He wiped his hip flexor a few times with the pad, then he picked up the syringe and uncapped it. With one quick motion, he drove the syringe deep into the muscle. He pushed the plunger in, injecting himself with 250 mg of Testosterone. He looked back in the box and grabbed a small bottle. He took a new syringe and drew the contents of the amp into the syringe. He capped it and took another alcohol pad. He swabbed his other hip flexor and then again injected himself. He removed the needle and watched the insertion point. Just a small drop of blood, then nothing. He smiled to himself. He’d done it right, 200 mg of Deca was now safely in his system.

Mike lay down on his bed, naked. He waited. Then it came. His hard-on was unstoppable. His mind went from picturing his parent’s disgust to picturing what his body was going to become. What would his almost 17 inch arms look like at the end of his cycle? Would they be 19 inches? He grabbed his dick. What about his 46 inch chest, would it be 49 or maybe even 50 inches? He stroked faster. And how about his strength? Eric and Justin were now ahead of him, would they fall behind him? Would they be in awe of his newfound power? Would that be enough to keep his parents disgust at bay?”

Mike’s free hand started to feel his abs. ‘Oh yeah!’ he thought, ‘they’re getting bigger, harder!’ His hand moved up to his chest. ‘god, my pecs are so hard’ he thought. This is so fucking awesome.’ He let his imagination continue to wander; he pictured Eric kneeling in front of him admiring his body as he kissed his own biceps. He pictured Justin losing an arm wrestling match and just looking at his own arm wondering where Mike got his incredible power. It was too much; Mike blew his load. The first shot hit him in the face and he eagerly ate his own cum. God it felt intense to him. More so than he’d remembered in a long time.

He stood up and looked at himself in the mirror. He flexed every muscle, and it looked so good! Cum stained and ripped abs– fuck his parents! He’d throw himself into THIS. Yeah!

He needed a shower, he realized, and then to call Eric. Mike knew Eric would be worried. •